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Original poster

Dd and friend drunk..,

40 replies

Seasonalanxiety · 08/03/2020 01:05

So, I was out for dinner tonight. DD (14) and her friend were going round to another friends house and were getting a taxi back to ours by 11.

DH who was home texted me in a panic at 11 as both girls were brought home by another parent, quite drunk.
I'm home now and they are pissed. Have put them to bed with water and a bucket. What do I do now? They're both drunkenly asking me not to tell the other girls parents but I don't see how I can not tell them?

OP posts:

Ginandplatonic · 08/03/2020 03:32

I would have been phoning the other parents as soon as they got to my house and getting them to come and collect her. And it’s what I would expect to happen if my 14yo was ever in that situation at a friend’s house.

Pippinsqueak · 08/03/2020 03:52

I think I'd feel differently if it was my daughter but I have a story which most of you if not all will disagree with but this is what happened and I think the other parents made the right call

When I was 14, almost 15 my friend and I were at her house alone for the evening/early night whilst her parents went out for a show and wouldn't be back til late. They trusted us to be sensible but we ended up drinking a hell of a lot of whiskey and I mean a lot. They came home to find us vomiting in the drive way.

They took care of me, made sure I drank water, paracetamol etc and slept well. They told me they made the decision not to tell my mum the next day as they knew I was a good girl and it was a one off and I would learn from this. They also knew my mum would over react and it would affect our relationship.

I was very great full about this and didn't tell my mum until years later. When I did she was a little miffed but pleased they took care of me and said they made the right call.

Not saying this is what you should do, just I've been that 14 year old and to this day 20 years later I cannot stand the smell of whiskey 🥃 🤢

ChelseaCat · 08/03/2020 03:52

Tell the friend that she must tell her parents herself, and that you will tell them if she hasn’t done it by x time. You could offer to support her with the conversation.

She needs to learn to take responsibility for her own actions and if she thinks she’s ‘grown up’ enough to drink alcohol then she must be grown up enough to have a conversation about it

Interested in this thread?

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14 year olds Families

lyralalala · 08/03/2020 04:50

Speak to them in the morning and then decide about telling the other parents

I didn’t tell a friend of DDs parents. She was shaking in fear at the prospect. She hasn’t touched alcohol since. She’s currently grounded for three months for getting a detention for taking in class, they are very extreme parents.

On the other hand I have told two other parents as I knew they’d want to know, and wouldn’t terrify their kids.

CJsGoldfish · 08/03/2020 05:13

I wouldn't be letting a couple of drunk children dictate to me.

I'd have rung the other parents to collect their child. Can't understand why you wouldn't.

MogHog · 08/03/2020 08:11

My DD now 21 confessed to me the other day when her and her mate were 14 they got blind drunk at mates house, so much so it ended up with a trip to A&E for friend.
She came home the next day and I was none the wiser. Friends parents didn't tell me.

I was quite shocked when she told me all this the other night, more so that the parents didn't think I needed to know.
Please tell the girls parents

Aragog · 08/03/2020 08:16

I'd tell the other parents.
I'd wanted to have known if it was my dd.

Re a pp's comment - They're scared of the parents knowing as they know they'll be in trouble. It doesn't mean that the other parents are monsters or abusive in any way just because the girls are drunkenly saying they don't want them to know. Unless there a back story of course where you know differently.

ElderAve · 08/03/2020 08:20

Yes of course, you need to tell the other parents but I don't think there's any need for them to "be in massive trouble". The beauty of overindulgence in alcohol is that it comes with it's own punishment. The shame of having to be taken home early and the pain of the morning after. Just let it be a learning opportunity.

Elderflower14 · 08/03/2020 08:35

How would you feel if it happened at friends house and her parents hadn't told you? Think about it that way?

beckywiththeshithair39 · 08/03/2020 08:37

Yes tell the other parent but try not to freak out too much. I did this a lot at that age. It's a time where they want to experiment and try new things and booze is pretty fun 😂 sorry if I'm making light of it and of course too much booze can be dangerous and put them in dangerous situations so they need a rollicking for that.

SpaceDinosaur · 08/03/2020 08:43

How are they this morning?

If they're hanging out of their arses it's going to be much harder for them to attempt to conceal from the other child's parents.

And for what it's worth, yes, both sets of parents need to know.

user1471505356 · 08/03/2020 10:05

This is a right of passage for every parent.

Lionsleepstonight · 08/03/2020 10:11

You need to tell them as they're going to guess when you hand over a hungover daughter back to them.

mencken · 08/03/2020 10:20

how skanky. Of course you tell the other parents. Children of this age are also at high risk from alcohol poisoning.

they breached your trust by swilling booze so don't worry about that. You're the adult and they did something really stupid.

phone amputation for a couple of weeks at least, or whatever hurts most. This isn't a childish jape, it is a serious screw-up.

SouthWestmom · 08/03/2020 10:22

Hang on they were brought home by another parent from a friends house? So who gave them the alcohol and what did that parent do?

Yes, tell them. I hate other people deciding what I should/shouldn't know it's so rude.

Different but on a play date my son had an awful accident and ended up receiving medical attention hours afterwards because the other mum didn't tell me and just brought him home patched up.

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