So, so lonely.

[Jobhell]

It's Friday evening. I haven't seen another human being in two days. I have no plans this evening or for the whole weekend apart from going to a job that I hate. I'm so lonely. What's the point?

I'm sorry op, that sounds rotten.
Would you consider volunteering?
Maybe visiting old folk or people in hospital with no visitors?
I think it would do you good.

Find something you love doing, something that makes you feel like you’re not just merely existing. When you’re happy in yourself then friendships and relationships follow.

I know what it’s like to go days without seeing another person, and feeling so crushingly lonely that you can’t see the point in living anymore. I rediscovered my love of reading, but being skint means I was at the library at least once a week looking for something new. Got chatting with the women that work there and a couple of other regulars that I kept seeing. Gained enough social confidence that I decided I no longer wanted to be in a job I hated and applied for college instead. That’s greatly improved my social life, I’m no longer just existing but actually living.

I hope it works out for you

That sounds a bit bleak. I would advise trying to get out for some fresh air and sun (if you can find any) if you can. Stuck in doors and feeling like that can make things feel worse than they are. Also, have you pets> There's a great website called 'borrowmydoggy', you get to walk other people's dogs which can be a great away to initiate interaction with other humans if you struggle socially.

I moved to an area in which I knew not a soul, 18 months ago. I joined craft groups, reading groups and the branch of my chosen political party. I have some fabulous friends who look after my dogs when I’m poorly and happily accompany me to hospital appointments.

@Gilead sounds great!

@Jobhell what are you doing this evening? Can you make yourself as comfy as possible and read, watch something, listen to music, text a friend?

I'm on my own tonight but I'm happy as a clam about it as I'm convalescent. I'm going to have tea and chocolate then watch old episodes of miami vice

OP is there any way you could get a dog? You’d have to go out walking every day and being outside will make you feel better. You will get to see and in time greet the same people walking their own dogs every day too.

Sorry op. What’s behind this, before I offer suggestions? Are there health reasons, or do you struggle socially? Or maybe it’s just circumstances. Do tell us a bit more if you’re happy to.

At least you have Mumsnet for some human interaction and to hear from people who do care.

OP. I’m often lonely and It’s an awful feeling. I do empathise with you. I guess the only suggestion I could make is to get a dog and go walking. I have a dog. They are good company and people talk to you because of the dog. I’m sorry I can’t offer any other suggestions.

I moved to an area where I didn't know anyone.

I went to some evening classes. I also volunteered at the local RSPCA shelter walking dogs. Do you have any hobbies or anything that you would like to do?

What days do you work? Is there any chance of changing jobs if you hate it so much? Is there anyone at work that you can socialise with?

I can't get a dog unfortunately although I'd love one firstly because I have a cat and secondly because I work full time so it would be on its own all day. I moved to a completely different area 3 years ago and I've never felt like I fit in here.

I'm sorry you're feeling lonely - its horrible and I understand how crushing it feels. How long have you been feeling this way?

You poor thing. I think you should prioritise finding a different job with more of a social aspect to it that you enjoy as a job you hate will cloud everything. I hope that is possible for you and soon. Loneliness is draining and awful. You can chat to us if it helps? Do you have any family or friends who you can tell how you feel and who could visit you to break up your alone time?

I feel the same. I work 3 days a week but I’ve just been moved into a new office where there is not a soul. We also have a dog but I never see anyone when I’m out walking him. I’m not really in love with our area despite it being I suppose quite desirable. But the kids education is here and as they have special needs I’m loathed to move them.

Is there anything you have a special interest in?

What sort of area do you live in? Is there much going on there? Are there places to walk, rural, urban?

Why do you think you do not fit there?
Talk to us, we are listening

Thank you, you are all so kind. I feel like I don't fit in here because I have a different accent to everyone else and much as I try to be a nice person and friendly and good to be around I just feel like people don't like me. I only have one family member who lives anywhere near me (about 40 minutes away) but she very much has her own life and her own family, never really asks me to meet up and always seems too busy to see me really. The rest of my family live 2 hours or more away. I'm just so lonely and sad, I feel like I don't really mean anything to anyone.

Is there any chance of volunteering for something OP?

Can I ask why you moved there, if you don’t know anyone? Did you move for the job?

Could you make tomorrow a day out or a day where you alter your usual routine? Visit a local museum or art gallery, or just anything that would take you out of your way?

Meetup.com would be perfect for you. It's not dating - it's just for making friends with similar hobbies and interests. Just put in your area and the things you're interested in and it tells you about all the meet.ups you can join. Do it - it could be life changing. Good luck x

www.meetup.com/

That sounds tough op... loneliness is horrible, but things can and invariably do change.

Do you have any friends that you've lost touch with that you could reconnect with?

Why do you hate your job? Could you retrain or study to do something different? If you did a college course you could meet new people and hopefully get a job you're happier in.

@BogOffWinter that sounds really good.

You're likeable OP but underconfident. What did you think about what some other people have done to adapt to a new environment? I think you should contact your relative and ask if you can visit.

Have a serious think about what you want to do and where you want to live. But make yourself comfortable tonight.

What do you like doing?

I’ve felt like this before when I lived in another country. It’s just exhausting. I shamelessly used my children to make friends and would attend the opening of an envelope. If somebody said they were going to Ikea to buy a washing up brush I would volunteer to go,with them.

I did everything and any. Cookery classes, volunteering, tap dancing. I knew it was a sink or swim situation. I used the fact that I wasn’t from there to start up conversations with people.

Awww, I'm so sorry OP that you're feeling this way. Loneliness is so horrible.

I think the idea of Borrow my Doggie is a great idea - no commitment to a dog during the week but gets you out and about during the weekend. If it's any comfort, we're often too harsh on ourselves and our perception that no one really likes us may not actually be the case. People may think that you're happy to be on your own. Can you initiate coffee / lunch with someone?

Can you move back nearer to your family? Or is that not an option?