So, so lonely.

[Jobhell]

It's Friday evening. I haven't seen another human being in two days. I have no plans this evening or for the whole weekend apart from going to a job that I hate. I'm so lonely. What's the point?

i’m lonely too. i have arthritis and my back is so bad that i can’t even walk to the bus stop to go anywhere. i spend days without talking to anyone except the long-suffering cat. i’d go mad without him.

I’ve been there before OP. My life is so different now, wish someone could have told me at the time. You do need to put yourself out there if you can though, it’s not a quick fix but my friends now are amazing. Be brave, no one knows you are pretending.

Weapon does someone call in on you to assist you?

I like the idea of borrow my doggy but you have to pay for it and I really struggle for money so its not an option to go for something that will mean yet another outgoing. I do sometimes ask people to meet up but I feel like it's always me that is doing the asking and people often cancel on me or say they'll get back to me and they don't. I'm working all weekend so I can't really organise anything nice for myself. Plus if I went somewhere it would be alone and I'm so sick of doing everything on my own I've gone to bed now, not even the slightest bit tired because I slept loads today but I've got nothing else to do.

Could you start an exercise programme maybe running or something without a huge outlay which would make you feel better about yourself and in time lead to more social opportunities i.e. once you can run 5K you could join a running club? I started running from zero aged around 34 and a couple of years later ran a marathon. I liked the fact I could do it directly from the front door and you always, always feel better for it even if you absolutely can't be bothered.

How about Girl crew.com? I think there's an app as well. It says "Make new friends, find local events." Or a book club at your local library. How about a stitch and knit group. You could go even if you don't know anything I'm sure lots of people would love to help you learn a new craft. I'm sure there are probably online/Skype groups too. I hope you feel better soon.

Or perhaps a wild swimming group or maybe that's too out there? 😊

I get this, I've recently booked a couple of weekends away. Yes they're on my own but I enjoy the fact that I only have myself to please.
When I haven't got a 'big' weekend planned, sometimes I just like to take myself off to town or for a nice lunch or to a local museum or national trust property. And it does help. You don't have to be intertwined with other people not to feel alone, just passing someone by with a smile here and there sometimes just takes the edge off (I'm in the north west so I know that's easier here) or a simple hello to a fellow walker when out on a bit of a hike etc. I have found getting up and out sometimes really is the best remedy.
A tiny bit of interaction with others even if you're going home to just yourself is enough sometimes. I have had my faith restored in humanity so many times, often from complete strangers just willing to reciprocate a smile or hello.

And the point is, you're here, you're alive, you could be that one person that makes someone elses day just with a fleeting smile or a simple hello. Trust me, sometimes it makes all the difference - not only to you, but to the person on the other end

Any chance you could look at your local parkrun? Either to join in and walk/jog/run 5k or volunteer?

There are roles that guarantee social interaction. It's free and you'd be involved with people each week. 9am every Saturday

Choir! It's fab. You can be as involved or detached as you like. Massively good for you (endorphins).

Loads of clubs out there what do you like, Choir, Theatre, Debating, Crafts,Swimming. It does require you to make an effort it does require you to put yourself at risk of rejection, but the reward can be great.

Our local park run has recently started a park walk to get people out and socialising. I think they started it because a few people who had previously run had to stop due to medical issues but they missed being in the group. Some people who start off walking then go on to run a bit, walk a bit until they can run the whole thing. Others will just continue walking.

Are there any walking groups in your area? I think walking is more conducive to talking esp if you are new to exercise.

Volunteering is another option? Helping out with adult literacy classes?

I think the key is being in a 'group' of some sort to start off with. I remember when I used attend a mothers and toddlers group, I was then asked if I could help with their annual fair.

Groups like mothers and toddlers and retirement groups often need people to help with teas and coffees. Start by checking out the local community centres and seeing what is on. Many of the events they run do not cost very much and you might even find one you are interested in yourself. Check your local library for free events too. What about a local drama club? Or a choir? You certainly don't need to go there with anyone else?

The key is to attend regularly so people get used to seeing you rather than flitting in and out of them.

How was your day today OP?
Felt very alone first time I moved away from my family and it was such a low point. Dont know how I managed, sorry no practical advice, just to let you know it did change

Jobhell and Weapon hope you're both ok tonight and snuggled up with your cats :)