‘Insulting’ much loved pets abusive?

[Songofsixpence]

DD is horse mad and is very lucky to have her own pony.

Due to the shite weather this winter and resulting mud, poached fields, mud fever, boggy bridleways and a water logged school, pony hasn’t been turned out as much as usual and DD hasn’t been able to ride much so her pony is a bit “fresh”

DD took her to an event last weekend and pony was a bit lively. Nothing dangerous but she pulled some interesting moves, threw in some bucks, did quite a lot of sideways trotting and was generally a bit (lot) over excited

Anyway, was out with a group of friends last night - some close friends and some friends of friends that I kind of know.

One friend also rides and she asked how DD had got on at the weekend, I said fine but pony had been “a bit of a knobber”. Friend replied that her boy had been a complete cock at a similar event the week before.

A friend of a friend was sitting the other side of my friend heard us talking - told us we were abusive, we should be ashamed of ourselves, she felt sorry for our poor animals and that we were just awful and she hoped our horses would find nicer owners who actually cared about them one day - before walking out.

We also have a dog and a cat, they’re all very much loved and well cared for but they are dickheads sometimes - the cat especially

My ddog is known as sticky legged fuckwit

I have a Syrian hamster who eats wheels. We try to distract her from it but our interactions go along the lines of high pitched voice Honey! Hi Honey! Hello sweetie, come and say hello! Do you want a treat? Ooh Honey what's this? What have we got?! normal raised voice fucks sake stop chewing your wheel you little cunt!

Erm unwanted behaviour being a sign something is wrong ? No....well yes possibly that they are in fact a twat. Ddog since my last message fell asleep on the sofa , woke up stretched herself and promptly fell off the sofa upside down and then couldn't be arsed to right herself so fell back to sleep upside down. Shes just been to the vets, not a jot wrong with her.

That's not a cry for help that's being a lazy git.

I am proper OBSESSED with my dog and she doesn't know when I call her little cunty face when I kiss her beard

Your friend is a clunge waffle

Perhaps she felt left out of the conversation if she's not horsey, or felt jealous if she wants that lifestyle but can't have it for whatever reason

It was a passing 30 second conversation between me and my friend, nothing horsey was mentioned again. There was about 15 other people in the group.

Erm unwanted behaviour being a sign something is wrong ? No....well yes possibly that they are in fact a twat

To be fair, it’s a bit of both. Pony does have occasional twattish tendencies, but also it’s been an awful winter so she hasn’t had much turn out and hasn’t been ridden much.

We took the dogs to Cornwall last summer and went to a castle for an open day. The youngest of the two was about 9 months old, so still a bit of a twat, and managed to chew through his actual lead, scamper over to an older couple having a picnic and steal a sandwich from them while they laughed at the naughty fucker. He pranced off proud as anything with himself while I chased him about the castle grounds shouting 'this is why you have no friends you bloody knobber".

You don't love your pets unless you call them twats sometimes.

In this house we refer to NDN's poodles as 'the little shits' or 'the pube hounds' - although in this case it is not through affection I hate the howling shrieking bastards

That’s ridiculous.

@FudgeBrownie2019 “This is why you have no friends!”

I have been known to tell “SEE!! THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS!” - at my cat because she is obsessed with knocking anything and everything off of any surface she can get too The twat watched me put my new clock on the mantelpiece when we first moved into our house, proceeded to climb up there and knock it straight into the floor while staring me dead in the face. Ergo: CUNT.

I still love her, and tickle her belly whenever she demands it though

I think it's batty. Unfortunately some people take their love for animals way too far.

I had to laugh at our vet. I took our dog in for an examination and she said, directly to the dog, that she wouldn't be having any injections at that appointment. It then transpired that in fact she did have to have a vaccination. She apologised to the dog for misleading her and said she was so sorry that she would actually have to give her a vaccination.

I was sat there wondering when it might occur to her that our dog doesn't speak English and doesn't have a feckin clue that she was 'misled'. To make it even funnier our dog is hard as nails and she doesn't even flinch from injections.

All cats and children (now grown up and seem to be no more fucked up that most people are) have been affectionately known around here as GitCreature.. we may have started calling the DGCs that too

This is how my dd picked up affectionately calling someone a little fucker. Granda I'm looking at you! Thankfully it was only one time

Ha, just got back from walking miss shaggy knickers (aka my long coated dog) from her walk in the pouring rain and we bumped into another couple of dogs... I heard them coming as the owner was calling' don't you dare frisk Medusa for treats, DIckhead!!!'

Dickhead is a much loved dalmation (who is indeed a pain about begging ) and I don't think he minded at all ...

I'm afraid one of our cats as known as fatbastard too...

I love my cat, but when he waits at the top of the stairs for me to go to bed, and then attacks me in the dark. I call him a furry little wanker. Attacking people on the stairs is AGAINST THE RULES.

DTwatCat#1 and DTwatCat#2 both think YABU.

DTwatCat#2 is most offended since his Christmas binge eating exercise that he's been told he's turning into a fucking weeble and needs to stop being such a greedy little shit or we'll leave him stuck like Pooh Bear in Rabbit's doorway next time he tries to climb through the bannisters to harass DP as he sleeps.

So offended that he rolled over to display his expansive belly for tickles.

When faced with another unfortunate Wood Mouse in the kitchen at 6am Sunday morning, I also called him a psychopathic little shit who is too fucking fat to need any more fucking snacks and to take the poor fucking thing right back outside to put it out of its misery before he got a fucking boot up his fucking arse. He skipped outside to joyously continue his long, slow murder uninsulted. The furry wee shite was also told to take his mousebreath somewhere else when he came back and wanted to snuggle up on the settee. He didn't listen - or rather, he took it as an invitation to fall asleep on my right foot for the next 4 hours.

DTwatCat#2 is permanently damaged because she's been told she's thick as a barn door and it's just as well she's pretty. Being called a fucking knob when she's got herself finagled up in the bedclothes and is growling furiously as her claws are gently extricated is also a cross she has to bear.

I'm waiting for the nice lady from the RSPCA to knock any minute.

You called a horse a bit of a knobber and she thinks it’s abusive?!

Dear lord. How does she even live?

I love the bones of my dog, but there's no denying that he's an utter twat sometimes.

We have retro looking metal tins for the dogs food - DDogs 1&2 has a label on that says "Dickheads", DDog3's says "The Bitch". We turn the labels round when they go to kennels and just have their proper names on show
I can only imagine the trauma we've caused

Good god I've called all my animals far worse. One of my horses was affectionately known as (Prefix) "Little Shit" at home instead of his registered name

You called a horse a bit of a knobber and she thinks it’s abusive?!

I thought it was pretty tame to be honest.

DD went with another girl from our yard. Girl and her mum can be a bit know-it-all and already look down on our fat-assed cob.

Theirs obviously stood perfectly. Ours carried on like a complete lunatic in the middle of the riding centre car park. I’m standing there going “well, she’s never done that before” while girl and her mum are rolling their eyes and exchanging knowing looks with each other.

Despite the fact that pony was behaving like a complete tool I still wanted to rip their smug heads off as she’s my (well, DD’s) utter tool and no one gets to insult her but me (and DD)

Our old hamster was called Buster

3yr old ds at the time accidentally over heard me calling him a little bastard after the fucker bit me and called him buster from then on

I used to sing 'Baby got back' to my fat tabby, she did have a huge, wobbly ass though so never took offence

My ginger cat is known as “that ginger bastard” by DH and I. He is the loveliest, most soppy boy ever but he is beyond naughty (steals stuff obsessively, breaks things, beats up our other cats etc).

My horse is an old Welsh cob, she is my first baby and I love her more than anything in the world (apart from DD). But she’s a blinking handful and regularly gets sworn at loudly. She is always the wrong side of electric fencing or performs acrobatics on the road. Grade A knobber.

There’s a huge difference between affectionate name calling and being horrible. I call DH grumpy bastard and he calls me psychobitch. It is never said in anger.

One cat here is called Dickhead on a regular basis (mainly as nothing is ever good enough for his lordship, and he scrounges like a dog would when there's decent enough food in his dish, as the flavour is not to his liking and he meooooows at you until you sort it)

DH has been known to call the other one Shitforbrains because she's so daft she's been known to stalk and pounce on her own tail.

Ive got Pig Dog here (on account of her love for cheese and crisps) I roll her over and poke her chubby little belly whilst repeating the name. Pig dog pig dog pig dog.

Tell your friend that. It's definitely abuse.

Pig Dog loves it and I swear she laughs when I do it.