DH in hospital on other side of world- freaking out

[Moonsick]

DH texted me two hours ago to tell me he has been taken to intensive care, he needed travel insurance details. He is in Jakarta.

He has been progressively worse all week, in pain and then blood in his urine.

I have been up for days with two sick kids and my brain isn't working properly, it's just spinning in panicky circles.

Don't really know what to do, just crying to my mum atm like the adult I am. Kids will be up in an hour or so, so need to calm down so I don't freak them out.

Very worrying OP.

Is he here alone?

Can your mum look after your kids and you go out there? If he’s in ICU I think you need to be there.

You poor thing, how scary for you. I hope he recovers ASAP

I’m sure someone will be along with helpful comments soon. Thinking of you OP

**there

Oh no Moonsick, that's a dreadful situation for you to be in. Virtual handhold 💐💐

I would fly to Jakarta. He will need you. Get relatives to take care of the kids

How terrible did you. Sending love

*for not did - sorry

I’d be flying out there personally. I hate flying. But for something like that I’d be out there like a shot.

Call the British Embassy there. They will be able to help.

Thank you all x

Yes he is out there alone, but on behalf of his university to visit another university. It's not his first visit but I don't know how many people he knows in Jakarta.

My mum can't look after my kids until they are better, she can't take the risk of getting sick. I will fly to Indonesia if I have to, but the cost would put us in huge debt.

His insurance company may have support available for you, such as translation services or money to fly you out. Call them. When my son was in hospital in Turkey our insurance company were amazing and had a nurse assigned over the phone to explain everything

Ok, the university out there will help you too. If you can, get a name and contact number of someone on the ground in the university department He is visiting. Also email his direct employer / workmates at the university.

Very worrying OP, sending lots of healing hugs . I wish I could be more helpful ! X

If you know who the travel insurance people in the uk are get in contact with their emergency service . They will speak regularly to the doctors and it will probably be easier tha you also trying to make sense of things with doctors. They will know likely timeframes for admission etc and plans to bring him home.

His insurance may pay for you to fly out. This happened to a friend and her insurance paid for her mum to go and be with her.

One flight won’t put you in huge debt. That’s very dramatic. Your husband needs you now.
Call everyone on Monday: the university, the insurance and find out what help you can access.
I’d fly as soon as the kids are a bit better. Can you send another relative in the meantime? Does DH have parents or siblings who could go?

I hope you get some information quickly, do you know which hospital he's in to contact them?

Can you contact his university, they will have contacts you don't have with the other university ? Also, could either of his parents go so you can be here for your children ?

If he has travel insurance sometimes they pay for someone to go and visit them hotels and flights

Hope he recovers soon

I hope your DH is feeling better soon OP, he has insurance so that is good news, the insurance company will be able the liaise with the hospital and authorise any treatment your DH needs. You sound exhausted OP, try to have some breakfast before your kids get up, ring his insurance company and see how they can help you. Not on the general number, ring directly through on their emergency number so you get through to correct people. Try to keep calm, I know it’s difficult.

Whereabouts are you op? If you can get to London relatively easily, flights to Jakarta are around £5-600 return next week.

I’m going to go against the grain and say don’t automatically jump on a flight. This is the worst bit, you don’t have enough information and it feels out of control.

Spend the next few hours contacting the insurers, the university and your DH if possible. Then make a plan, involve a trusted friend or family member who is a bit detatched from the situation to help make sure you are staying calm and making the best possible decisions.

Do you have someone who can advocate for you?

I know how difficult it is when your kids are sick so if you have someone that can get on this for you while you look after yourself and your kids.

They need to:

1. Get a main contact in your DH's university here. They have a duty of care and should then be able to liaise with the uni in Jakarta who should appoint someone to be your husband's advocate
2. Contact the British embassy in Jakarta for support
3. Speak to your husband's insurance company to find out next steps

The people who you/someone you trust speak to above are the experts so get on touch with them asap so they can help you.

I’m going to go against the grain and say don’t automatically jump on a flight. This is the worst bit, you don’t have enough information and it feels out of control

I wouldn't either, it's a long flight to be out of touch, your children will need you as it'll be unsettling for them and you will probably be more use here.