DH in hospital on other side of world- freaking out

[Moonsick]

DH texted me two hours ago to tell me he has been taken to intensive care, he needed travel insurance details. He is in Jakarta.

He has been progressively worse all week, in pain and then blood in his urine.

I have been up for days with two sick kids and my brain isn't working properly, it's just spinning in panicky circles.

Don't really know what to do, just crying to my mum atm like the adult I am. Kids will be up in an hour or so, so need to calm down so I don't freak them out.

I know your instinct is to go straight out there, but think carefully about this.

Firstly, you need someone to look after the kids and it needs to be someone reliable who understands that you may be gone for a while.

Secondly you need to think about where you would stay - it's easy for people to say that it's 'just' the cost of a flight, but you have food and accommodation costs whilst you are there. Are these covered by insurance?

Thirdly - and I hate to sound alarmist - but you need to think about Covid-19 and the risk of being caught up in a quarantine and your return to the UK being delayed. How would that work with childcare?

There's been some good advice from PP about contacting the university and the embassy, so I'd start with that. It's also worth contacting your insurers to see if you going out there would be covered, so that you can start weighing that up as well.

Sounds a lot like kidney stones - which will hopefully pass and he'll be fine.

I wouldn't go out there. He can text so he's conscious.

Keep in contact and mobilise the university and travel insurance company

I agree with not rushing out there. I suspect the insurance company may well aim to fly him home as soon as possible.

I hope he's ok OP.

Thank you all so much x

He contacted his university and he is saying he isn't covered for this.

I phoned the Foreign Office and the embassy will contact him on Monday.

I phoned travel insurance and they are sending out their local agent today and will contact me ASAP. They will fly me out and cover the hotel if the claim is accepted.

He is bleeding internally and has low platelets. He has saying minimum seven day in hospital and is begging me to get him a medevac.

Seconding ringing the embassy. I've had to do it when someone was taken ill and they were really kind and helpful.

Here's the phone number -

Where you can find us
You can contact us by phone 24/7 for help or advice
from anywhere in the world by calling the Foreign and
Commonwealth Office (www.gov.uk/government/
organisations/foreign-commonwealth-office) on
0207 008 1500, or your nearest British embassy, High
Commission or Consulate (www.gov.uk/world/
embassies).

Oh, crosspost. I'm so sorry.

As others have said, get intouch with his employer. He will be covered under theit policy so any medical treatment must be paid for under that. The University will send people overseas all the time so they will have a process that will kick off as soon as you or your husband contact them. He should have been given details before he travelled about what to do in an emergency.

Once insurance is confirmed I would organise childcare and fly out asap.

What is the university saying he isn’t covered for? Suggest you call them directly about their duty of care.

I wouldn't jump on a plane instinctively either. How worrying for you OP, I'm sorry xx

Did you already know he was unwell op?

Hi there. My husband was in a coma on a life support machine whilst I had a baby and small child. I had no family close by and I too was a sobbing mess. I've been there OP, albeit my husband was in the UK at least. You need your family and friends around. Esp as you're also exhausted. I had also been ill when my husband was unwell and was exhausted. Text all your geographically closest friends and ask that they come over to support you or have the kids today.
It's a good sign that your husband was well enough to contact you for insurance details. It's actually a good sign that he's in ICU because the care that he will be receiving will be top notch. One of my husband's ICU nurses was from there and although it's abroad, the staff will be well trained and have good equipment etc. He will most certainly be on several antibiotics on a drip and having all his vital organs monitored from what you have said of his symptoms. Also, as a westerner abroad with insurance, he will get good treatment because staff will not be worrying about the bill. You'll find that you will be strong In front of your kids (mine never saw me cry). This strength will kick in quite naturally and you will hold it together. Having to hold it together for my kids bought me a strength that I didn't know that I had. You will find the same. Ring the insurance company yourself too. They will be used to this situation so may be able to offer you advice. Also,contact his employers. Is he on his own out there? Are there any other colleagues who could visit? Could his family go and visit him? Thinking of you and offering a handhold. My advice is just to let as many people around you know as possible because people are happy/want to help out. And accept all offers of help.

I would kick up hell with the university. How can they say he isn’t covered by them? They are his employer and they sent him out there.

Sorry you are going though this. Do they have any idea what has caused the internal bleeding?

No advice OP. It thinking of you and DH.

^ sorry "I'm thinking"

What did your own insurance say about a medevac? I still think you should speak to the university too, it may be that they haven’t understood the situation and it would be pretty terrible duty of care to expect someone to work abroad on their behalf and not have insurance

I wouldn’t be so worried about the fact that he was in hospital in Jakarta, so much as what on earth is it that the Insurer is refusing to pay.

Is this an existing condition he has and had when he flew out? It might make a difference to insurance. Has he told you exactly what is wrong? Internal bleeding and low platelets can be all kinds of things .

He's asking for a medevac but is he in fact well enough and if he's been told he will be in hospital for 7 days it sounds as if the condition is under control.
What do you think?

Just to also add not to be too freaked out by the ICU thing. My husband was the sickest person in ICU. There were lots of other patients in there recovering from operations, people who were just in for a day or two before being moved to a ward. My husband had severe Sepsis and his kidneys failed (amongst other things). He had to go on dialysis and have intravenous antibiotics. From what you've said they will want to ultrasound his kidneys and may want the option of dialysis to flush his system out and take the pressure off him. He could be released from ICU to a ward within a day once all the investigations are done. I appreciate that the words 'intensive care' are frightening, but it is just that: a higher level of care than on the wards. On a ward scans have to be booked in etc. Everything takes hours. In ICU investigations will be conducted quickly and thoroughly. I wouldn't jump on a plane straight away. By the time that you got there he could be out of ICU. Call the insurance company and talk to staff on ICU to get an accurate picture of what's going on first.

You poor thing, your poor DH. He is in the best place at the moment by being in hospital. Medical evacuation may be risky and not appropriate at this stage. There are probably MNers in Jakarta who may be able to help on some way, even if it is to take him supplies, and reassure you. The university needs to do more. Call them yourself. He is a member of staff working overseas on their behalf, they have a duty of care. Also the university he is visiting may be able to help. You’ve contacted the embassy and the insurance company. Make sure you are ready and packed should you have to/be able to fly out with little notice. Is there anyone else who can take the kids? I know you said your M/MIL can’t Risk getting sick but is there anyone else?

I would try if you can to get the university to get Local colleague to go in there. Not wanting to alarm but my friends daughter was taken in in Jakarta and he ended up having to fly out there and literally take her out physically. Embassies involved etc. They were misdiagnosing and attempting to up the bills precisely because of the insurance from what I remember him saying. So you need someone there to ensure he is getting the necessary treatment but perhaps also not anything unecessary.

Join “Two Fat Expats” on FB and ask on there, there are a lot of Brits on there who live in Jakarta and will have inside knowledge on the medical system.

He wasn't clear about why the university wasn't responsible.

We have travel insurance through our bank account thank goodness.

He wasn't 100% when he left, he had been having some investigations but they had ruled out anything urgent or serious and he hadn't been diagnosed with anything.

Also,internal bleeding sounds scary, and it can be,in a situation of a severe car crash where it is unclear where it is coming frometc. However, blood in his wee (which is normal during a kidney/urinary tract infection) would be classed as internal bleeding. There are of course degrees of this. Again, try not to panic. If he's able to text you, try calling him too.

Really pleased to hear the insurers are on the case.

I agree with a few others here that quite probably the UK University has a legal "duty of care" to your DH.