Top parenting tip you wish you'd known earlier

[Fantasisa]

My children are swimmers and for years I have battled with swimming pool showers, queuing, attempting to get conditioner out of their hair etc and putting clothes back on to damp bodies it has been a real lowlight of my week.

Now I just dry them off, chuck those towel hoodies over them, stick crocs on their feet and shower them at home. For me it has been a game-changer and I WISH I had done this from the start.

What tip would have made your life easier?

Don't bother with super expensive baby swimming lessons. Just take your baby to the pool. I don't bother with showering my pair at the pool but do bung them back in the clothes they came in before we go home to have a shower.

@DropYourSword yes but clothing covers you completely, that’s the whole point. Those towels that go over your head only go down to your waist or a little below. I wouldn’t be comfortable with my kids walking through a public place and out to a car with nothing but a towel draped over them.

Maybe there are much longer versions of those towels that I don’t know about.

Just add water. Almost any situation can be solved by giving them a drink or getting in the bath.

That no matter what you do/dont do, that no matter what you feed/dont feed them, that what you give them/dont give them, that no matter what kind of parent you are they will grow up and behave,do, think,say whatever they want to whether you like it or not. Stop stressing over every micro moment of your childs life and just enjoy having them

@user1480880826 ah fair enough, see your point there. I was envisioning long ones!

When someone gives you unsolicited advice

thank you for sharing is the only response ever for unsolicited advice, said with a smile

Enjoy their reaction

I’ve been struggling with the onesies on damp skin. I’m going with OP’s idea of big hooded towel and PJ bottoms with crocs. That should satisfy everyone.

Distraction as a form of avoiding meltdowns is hugely helpful

So, for example, instead of saying to my little cherubs, 'it's time to leave the park and go home in five minutes' I say, ' in five minutes we're going to start making our way home, would you like a hot chocolate/bubble bath/snack/play xyz when we get home'. Put the emphasis on something great that you know they will want to do rather than the negative of leaving the park

Same thing if a tantrum is coming. Sometimes it can be avoided by a change of subject or immediately ask them about something they love, peppa pig/Thomas the tank/dinosaurs... anything really

Absolutely agree that distraction is the key. The number of times the sighting of a squirrel or fox in our garden (which had mysterious disappeared by the time DSs had got to the window) stopped a tantrum in its tracks, by the time we had scanned the tiny garden said child gad usually forgotten that they were cross.
Also agree with pp re teenage plans, DS1s face when I didnt comment on a planned trip for him and 4 other 16 year old friends to Amsterdam was priceless - it was only the complete lack of funds and that 3 other (mean) parents that scuppered it

Fudge brownie has the best advice. Love your post.

In terms of swimming I gave up trying to use the showers as my oldest always resisted and there is a mum with 3 devil children in our swim group. They fight and squirt shower gel at each other whilst she does nothing. I got pissed off waiting so I dry them throw them under the hand dryer to take the damp of their hair. Put them in onesies and a coat for the car and they are straight in.the bath when they are home. Works for us. Less stressful and avoid the intense heat of the changing rooms and annoying family.

More detail in Janet lansbury unruffled podcast, but essentially any time you ask or tell DC anything, be or at least sound confident in it. I was always being all wavery because I was trying to follow adult notions of politeness (!) (now I see it...) when speaking to DC whereas really they want you to own whatever decision you're making and let them know!

So for example I would say things like "shall we get in the bath now, let's get your clothes off" and wonder why they were running around all giddy and uncooperative

I had previously thought that there were just two kinds of people, those who are good at speaking to children and maintaining authority and those who are not, but actually it's just confidence. The people I know who are good at getting children to do things are just confident in their choice and children respond to that. And you can fake it!! Just sound confident even if you don't feel it or (like me) you're a bit deferential by nature and tend to want others to tell you what to do.

Also works wonders for other areas of life.

When your teenagers ask to do something you're not sure about it's perfectly fine to tell them 'you need to have a think about it'? before you give them a decision. Also use a bit of reverse psychology on them i.e. if they want a midnight curfew but you prefer a 11pm curfew, tell them you want them home by 10.30pm but "let" them negotiate you up to 11pm They will be really pleased with themselves x

Have some spare lollipops in your bag for emergencies - like when you’re out somewhere like a library or a restaurant with your 3 year old and they start having a massive tantrum - it makes life so much easier to hand them a lollipop and instantly stop the crying.

You don't have to answer a question when it is asked - teens are brilliant at asking "is it ok if..."/"Can I ...?" Questions when you're in the middle of something and distracted so that you don't fully think about it until later and don't consult with your partner (who might know more about it than you do)
If I'm busy I now respond (can we talk about that later when there are no distraction) but don't answer.

It's a good tactic for work too

Sometimes when the day goes to shit without warning it’s ok to give up and go to the chippy/shop buy chocolate change the usual routine to just survive the day. I’ve learnt to clock these days now and instead of trying to haul them back on track I roll with it.
Learning you don’t have to have it all together every day it’s ok has been a big one for me.

I second what bag puss said

We all have hard days with illnesss/tiredness/etc it's ok to send your dc to bed with a tummy full of chips and chocolate every now and then. If they're warm, fed and loved, that is enough

For everyone worried about my dc, they wear something similar to this: www.boden.co.uk/en-gb/stripy-towelling-beach-dress-watermelon-pink-pink-lemonade/sty-g2065-pnk?cat=C1_S13_G17

They ones they have are lined, come below their knees, have long sleeves and are quite thick. We do wrap their big beach towels around their waists on top like a skirt at the moment. They towel dry first and we don't have to go outside to get to the car (underground car park) so they have never said they are cold but we have had a mild winter where I am this year, I'd probably have to swap to onesies if it wasn't. So, for us, it has saved us a lot of hassle.

Works for us.

• sunlight bleaches poo stains from clothes, including the newborn mustardy stuff (also a useful tip when potty training). Even works when it's cloudy.

• not a parenting tip exactly, more a side perk (!): sudocrem is the best thing I've found for spots.

Don't bother with socks for babies, tights on under everything they wear!

@ComicePears this also works in the winter if you put clothes on a airer near a window. Even on a dull day. Might take a bit longer but it still works!!

That if they go out without a coat they get cold and tired more quickly and sleep better.

That if they go out without a coat they get cold and tired more quickly and sleep better

Thanks. I will try this one. They often resist a coat. Next time I will let them have their way.

@florencenotflo good to know! Sadly too late for me (or at least I hope so, with one in juniors and the other at secondary school)

Hungry, tired, bored.

Someone once said that this applies to babies as the main reasons they cry.

I’ve found toddler, pre-schooler, school age and adult can often be pacified by figuring out if they are indeed hungry, tired or bored and attempting to fix it!

That you don’t need to change a sleeping babies nappy if it’s just got a wee in it