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Original poster

Peeping neighbour filming..

65 replies

Twix42 · 27/02/2020 09:02

So I suppose this is more aibu..
This morning I had to run out quickly to catch the bin men at 6.50am as forgot to put out bin in time.. Its still a bit dark outside and the lights are still on (way up north) . I am wheeling out our bin and look up to see the lady in the house opposite standing getting dressed in the window with no top on, they have do have vertical blinds, but only partially closed, so you could see her naked top half. Doesn't bother me remotely that she was naked, but not something I would do,standing in the window. I turned back to return our house and I spotted my neighbour next door with his phone sticking out of their ensuite clearly filming her. He's a young lad, probably late teens early 20s.
I feel a bit icky, like I should tell the lady opposite to keep her blinds closed, but I don't know her/them and we all keep ourselves to ourselves. I'd be mortified, but lady is mid 20s and very pretty, not that it matters.
Do I just forget it?

Thanks

OP posts:

Damntheman · 27/02/2020 11:35

Are you being deliberately obtuse LittleBoyJuly? Because it's starting to feel that way.

Filming ANYBODY naked without their express consent isn't ok even if you're the son or the wife or the husband or the neighbour's sister. It's not ok! Not for putting on snap, not for sending to just that one person to laugh over, it's NOT OKAY. How difficult is this concept?

Just like a woman walking naked down the street isn't asking to be raped, a woman changing in her own house with the blinds half done also isn't asking to be filmed. FFS.

LonginesPrime · 27/02/2020 11:35

I would hate to get an anonymous note, especially or this kind of thing - far better to just pop round.

If you do leave a note, definitely say who it's from because it's really intimidating otherwise.

RibenaMonsoon · 27/02/2020 11:42

"She knows what she's doing"..

Seriously!? What a load of crap!
There's plenty of times I've gone to get changed and then half way through realised the blinds weren't completely closed and promptly closed them.
There's always one isn't there...

Definately tell her OP, I would want to know if it were me, would you?

ShesCurly · 27/02/2020 11:44

I don't think I've ever seen so much victim blaming on on thread.

Thank god other people are seeing this too. Unbelievable.

It's a slippery slope towards the phrase "asking for it" and the language of some posters on this thread is already dangerously close to that.

OP definitely tell her, I would knock on the door and say this is a bit awkward but I know id want to know, and tell her what you saw.

A note can sometimes be a bit unsettling whereas a face to face conversation with someone clearly wanting to do a nice thing is less so.

Frothybothie · 27/02/2020 11:44

"Hello Miss Neighbour, i was out and was looking at my neighbours window and saw he was photographing something. I looked into your window and saw you were naked and topless".

I was so offended I had to look and check.

What could possibly go wrong?

Wahhhhh · 27/02/2020 11:48

She probably thinks her blinds give her more protection than they actually do from outside.I was old last summer, by my sister, after years of showering with a tinted window in my bathroom that she could see a whole lot more sat outside than I was probably aware of.

I'm 17 stone and no show off. Hate me body

She probably thinks the angle of the blinds is saving her modesty

awesomeaircraft · 27/02/2020 11:52

@LittleBoyJuly2020 Neither of us are standing on that street. She may think the angles are wrong for people to see into the room, she may usually have cover from a tree and well, winter.

I think it is wrong to assume intent. If the OP warns her and she continues, I am in your camp. But before that, I will not assume it. It is so easy to think your home is your castle / others don't look.

LittleBoyJuly2020 · 27/02/2020 12:02

@Damntheman No I am not tying to be obtuse, I am being logical and sane.
I'm never worried about somebody filming me through my windows because I don't stand half naked by my window, and because I am mindful that there are perverts and weirdos out there who would take advantage of that if possible.

You all assume she had no idea that she was on full show by her window, you have no clue if that is true. And as I pointed out OP has no idea who was filming or why, or even if they were filming her.

Assuming she's just an innocent victim is typical of mumsnet.

wowfudge · 27/02/2020 12:04

Well I'd rather that assumption than any other. It should not be the norm to consider someone complicit or consenting.

ShesCurly · 27/02/2020 12:11

Assuming she's just an innocent victim is typical of mumsnet.

Bloody women refusing to bow to the patriarchy and daring to say it isn't a woman's job to control a man's behaviour.

Or indeed to control the behaviour of a person of either sex filming them (as it may have been the boy / sister / dad / mum / mate) without their consent or knowledge while they are naked in their own home.

The misogyny is real with this one.

VenusClapTrap · 27/02/2020 12:12

Please knock and tell her. Not in an anonymous note.

This happened to me, although as far as I know I wasn’t filmed - it was before phones had cameras, fortunately. I was new to the city and used to get dressed with half open curtains because I prefer natural light on a morning. I thought I couldn’t be seen because my window looked out on what I thought was a disused industrial unit.

One morning I glanced outside and noticed about five faces leering up at me from a very small, grimy window. I was mortified.

All those saying she’s an exhibitionist and knows what she’s doing - no; she could easily be young and clueless like I was.

niceclock · 27/02/2020 12:36

i'd report the phone person to the police. time, date, address, what you saw. Behaviour like that is predatory and can escalate. S/he's probably already sent it around their friends, or uploaded it to a voyeuristic site.

eew.

Cheeseontoast4 · 27/02/2020 12:41

I think you need to tell her what you saw

tiredtrumpet · 27/02/2020 12:46

Please don't put a note a note through her door, that makes it way more creepy.

Imagine receiving an anonymous note saying you are being filmed when you change

I would tell next door that you have seen them filming and report it.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 27/02/2020 12:57

Assuming she's just an innocent victim is typical of mumsnet.

I bet if it was a man standing naked right in front of the window the replies would be very different.

Anyway I'm willing to accept that maybe she is young and hasn't a clue like venus said, so just pop round there and tell her, OP. I don't know if you should mention the filming though, it might freak her out.

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