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Original poster

Peeping neighbour filming..

65 replies

Twix42 · 27/02/2020 09:02

So I suppose this is more aibu..
This morning I had to run out quickly to catch the bin men at 6.50am as forgot to put out bin in time.. Its still a bit dark outside and the lights are still on (way up north) . I am wheeling out our bin and look up to see the lady in the house opposite standing getting dressed in the window with no top on, they have do have vertical blinds, but only partially closed, so you could see her naked top half. Doesn't bother me remotely that she was naked, but not something I would do,standing in the window. I turned back to return our house and I spotted my neighbour next door with his phone sticking out of their ensuite clearly filming her. He's a young lad, probably late teens early 20s.
I feel a bit icky, like I should tell the lady opposite to keep her blinds closed, but I don't know her/them and we all keep ourselves to ourselves. I'd be mortified, but lady is mid 20s and very pretty, not that it matters.
Do I just forget it?

Thanks

OP posts:
Damntheman · 27/02/2020 10:15

Yeah.. there's way too much victim blaming going on here. "She knows what she's doing" ffs what's wrong with you people??

RedRed9 · 27/02/2020 10:18

She either knows what she's doing and enjoying the attention or they're both un on it together.

She was in the middle of getting dressed and her blinds were half closed.

Also, even if she knew she was taking a chance does that give anyone the right to film into her house?

wowfudge · 27/02/2020 10:35

Let her know and tell his mother.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 27/02/2020 10:37

Yeah.. there's way too much victim blaming going on here. "She knows what she's doing" ffs what's wrong with you people??

Well ask yourself 'would you be naked in front of a window where people can clearly see you?' I think most people would say 'no chance' so yeah I think she knows what she's doing and she doesn't care. Exhibitionist.

LilQueenie · 27/02/2020 10:42

I would report to police. for all you know he may be on the register.

RedRed9 · 27/02/2020 10:42

@PickwickThePlockingDodo does your logic equal that the neighbour is therefore allowed to film her without her consent inside her own home?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/02/2020 10:47

Well ask yourself 'would you be naked in front of a window where people can clearly see you?' I think most people would say 'no chance' so yeah I think she knows what she's doing and she doesn't care. Exhibitionist. Well let me surprise you!

Yes, if the blinds are even remotely drawn I suspect that many people wander round the upstairs of their homes in the nude of a morning. Not all of us have en suites and getting from bedroom to bathroom and back is more often than not done undressed. So it is almost 100% likely that my overweight, ageing boobs have been visible many a time!

I am not an exhibitionist, I am a 50 something getting ready for work!

LittleBoyJuly2020 · 27/02/2020 10:49

Victim blaming rolls eyes ...Women are not always these innocent, sweet naive creatures they're made out to be. Some young lad shouldn't be filming, no. But, anyone walking past, male or female would look at a naked person in their window, it doesn't make anyone a predator or a pervert.
She knew what she was doing, simple as. Most of us would refrain from standing half naked by a window because we don't want random people seeing us half naked. Some people enjoy the attention or the idea of someone seeing them. She obviously does. Not that it actually matters, she had her boobs out, and some guy was enjoying the show. It is what it is and nothing more imo.

wowfudge · 27/02/2020 10:54

No - LittleBoy you cannot draw that conclusion. Seeing someone naked is very different from filming them or taking photos.

scoobydoo1971 · 27/02/2020 10:55

She may not be aware that she is being overlooked, or perhaps she just doesn't care. I get changed in a bedroom with half open curtains somedays in a rush. We are not too overlooked but I guess someone in opposite housing could see if they craned :-D The sight of my naked self would put them off their dinner probably, but being lazy about the curtains doesn't make me a flasher (or the woman in this post). You could put a note through to her saying 'Just to let you know I can see you from opposite...and so can the kids next door'. Creepy dude maybe putting footage on social media or something for kicks.

Original poster
Twix42 · 27/02/2020 10:56

I'm just realising my own biases Confused
I don't actually know for sure it was the boy next door (his car was in the drive and his parents car is away) It could have been his sister (also late teens / early 20s) I only saw a hand holding the phone.
I jumped to the conclusion that it was the boy... Argh...

OP posts:
LonginesPrime · 27/02/2020 11:00

So someone has a video of this woman getting changed?

Definitely tell her - it's illegal and it's horrible to think it's probably already been uploaded to pornhub by now.

Damntheman · 27/02/2020 11:00

Seeing someone naked is very different from filming them or taking photos This exactly. There's a huge difference to looking and taking photos.

She may not realise people could see her, the blinds were half drawn after all it's not always that easy to tell from inside a house. She may have moved from the country where she's been very used to not having to think about it and hasn't realised. Even if she IS an exhibitionist (massive reach), still doesn't make it right to film her.

RedRed9 · 27/02/2020 11:01

Some people enjoy the attention or the idea of someone seeing them. She obviously does.

Where we used to live the bedroom radiator was under the window. Many times DP would go to the window to get a drying top to put on. I’d remind her that people would be able to see and her response was always something along the lines of “no they won’t, no one will be looking” etc. Drove me absolutely mad!

She is very body conscious and 100% not an exhibitionist. If she found out that a young lad had filmed her she’d most likely be sick.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 27/02/2020 11:01

PickwickThePlockingDodo does your logic equal that the neighbour is therefore allowed to film her without her consent inside her own home?

I already said he was a creep for doing that

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/02/2020 11:02

Littlebiy The difference between looking as you pass and covertyly filming is great... in actions and in law.

You can't leap to the conclusion that she was exposing herself deliberately, the OP says the blind was partly closed, she was going about her usual ablutions. But filming is a deliberate act.

onetimer · 27/02/2020 11:05

I doubt he was filming it for kicks! Probably more to put on his Snapchat for a laugh, or send to his best mate, as in, "What the hell am I witnessing?!". It'd be a bit of a shock to open your blinds and see a pair of tits.

Hipsterjoe · 27/02/2020 11:06

It wasn’t his sister

HollowTalk · 27/02/2020 11:07

I don't think I've ever seen so much victim blaming on on thread.

OP, I think you should report this - that video could be anywhere online now.

The fact that he noticed at that time of the morning indicates she usually dresses there - you should warn her, too.

Honeyroar · 27/02/2020 11:11

Sometimes I get changed quickly near an open window. In my defence I’ve barely got neighbours and am v rural, but occasionally I’ve had to dive for cover when someone has appeared! I’m definitely not wanting to be seen, just too lazy to draw the curtains when there’s hardly anyone around!

Anyway I’d just tell both houses what you saw and let them decide what to do.

LochJessMonster · 27/02/2020 11:14

Just put a note through the door, say that this morning you noticed one of the neighbours filming her window and realised you could see her getting changed.
Anonymous so she doesn't have to be embarrassed when talking to you. Then she can make up her own mind to close the blinds etc.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/02/2020 11:19

I doubt he was filming it for kicks! Probably more to put on his Snapchat for a laugh, or send to his best mate, as in, "What the hell am I witnessing?!". It'd be a bit of a shock to open your blinds and see a pair of tits. Isn't that the very definition of kiocks, shits and giggles?

awesomeaircraft · 27/02/2020 11:21

Friend of mine had a similar situation (minus phone - just exposed neighbour - back bathroom had no curtain, neighbours could see). They dropped a little note in the neighbour's letterbox (not signed, sort of kind notice) and curtains went up immediately. The exposed neighbours had no idea.

Please tell her. You can do it anonymously if you worry. It is a kindness.

awesomeaircraft · 27/02/2020 11:22

@HollowTalk I agree. My jaw dropped at "she knows what she doing". So sad.

LittleBoyJuly2020 · 27/02/2020 11:29

@awesomeaircraft So she doesn't realise she's standing half naked by a window? Erm ok then. Just like I guess she thought the blinds being half shut meant nobody could see in?

Not to mention - the OP has already stated that she didn't even see the boy filming!!! For all anyone knows, it was the wife filming and she's going to send it to hubby saying 'look at the crazy neighbour!'

So bear in mind all the slating on this thread of the boy filming is not valid as OP didn't see who was filming.