What would you think to a year 3 child, walking to and from school alone everyday, coming home to an empty home till about 5.30pm, and spending all the summer holidays at home alone

[Lardlizard]

Apart from the odd week or two the mum could take off work for holidays rest of the time the child is home alone

Was your mum a single parent? Any family or good neighbours nearby? How did it affect you? What did you do during the school holidays? You don't mention siblings, so I take it you were an only child?

At my DC school, no child is allowed to walk home I alone until Yr 5, but I know older kids pick the younger ones up and go home alone.

Personally they are way too young to be doing this, surely the school itself would have addressed this?

Oh FFS, it’s so annoying when people post questions without bothering to give any context.

If you’d asked at the start whether this was normal/ok in the 80s you’d have got answers that were more relevant to you, and wouldn’t have wasted everybody’s time with all the posts about calling social.

We had a family on our street who left their 6 year old to wander around alone in the 80s - it was frowned upon but not seen as neglectful in the way it is now.

teacup is correct re schools releasing children.

Schools have to ‘allow’ the child to leave if you the parent have stated as much.

That was me in 1975 as well, but it was completely normal then. Why are you still thinking about it?

Very bad- my mum and dad were pretty rubbish, in the late 1970's early 1980's I used to walk to school from year 2 with my year 3 brother and year 4 neighbours child, but we had a child minder after school at least!

it never was ok,
we would walk in pairs, no way would we have been allowed to walk home alone.
or let myself in the house.
i would have burned the house down cooking toast or something

Well for one thing I was out all day and for other thought it would interesting to see the replies as I suspected replies would come as follows.....

If I was the parent doing this, you are a disgrace you don’t deserve to be a parent, sort yourself out etc

If I knew someone that was doing this.....
Why haven’t you reported this already, you are part of the problem

If it was me as a child....
Oh why are you still thinking about this, it was totally normal and fine then

So pretty much your replies have been spot on
With a handful of exceptions
So thanks to the people that are the exception
The people that make this place just about worth it

To all the others that just want to kick someone around, I actually feel sorry for you

I would say it’s certainly influenced me, but I’d also say the fact I’m pretty sure my mum had undiagnosed depression influenced me more by some of the behaviour thar was far worse than this

Good grief. Talk about sweeping generalisations!

"or attempt something dangerous, or suffer depression or emotional difficulties from being alone for so long every day."

Not necessarily. Depends on the age. Depends on the child.

It does sound too young. Neglectful really. And for too long. All day? All summer?

I now see this relates to some 80's nostalgia!

Plus areas are different. They can walk home in year 5 here, and it's encouraged in year 6, in preparation for secondary.

Some kids are very timid. My Ds2 is a bit older, but he's been confident since he was born! Plus as a second child he's always wanted to do this early, promoted partly by having an older brother.

I know many parents from school and football teams. Most of their children are very timid, some anxious.

It depends if you've built them up gradually.
We've been building Ds2 up for years. First it was a few minutes whilst I nipped to our garage to put oil in the car, then I nipped to post a letter, then food shopping. Then I went to work for 1/2 a day. He cooked himself lunch and was totally happy. He loved being at home on his own and was very excited and proud.

All this instant dismissal of kids not being able to do it, is over-anxious parenting. We've swung from more than just benign/neglect in the 80's to paranoid cotton wooling in the 20's!

Shame we can't swing back to half way to redress the balance!

I know a lot of things that happened during the 80s were acceptable at the time lard but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t have a lasting effect - some children literally didn’t survive, after all.

When I look back I sometimes wonder if there was a trend or tendency in the 80s just not to LIKE children very much - I remember so many sarcastic, nasty teachers, so many attitudes about ‘naughty’ or ‘silly’ boys and girls who ran into the road and were killed or drowned or were killed by trains, even a (petrifying) video we had to watch at school about ‘strangers’ (sexual predators in other words) but the onus very much on the child - say no to strangers, as if a stranger isn’t going to be capable of picking up a five year old girl.

Strange times.

It was me too, in fact if we’re playing shit childhood trumps, I also had to collect my younger brother when he started school and look after him. He’s four years younger and had what we now call adhd.

Yes it was horrible, lonely, scary, cold (no heating) and stressful. I have a difficult relationship with my DM, I was a SAHM so my dc’s didn’t experience the same. I’m also very insecure, felt unloved and abandoned, therapy helped a lot.

It wasn’t that unusual in the 70s but I was aware it wasn’t right and it was bloody shit.

your mum struggled by the sound of things op,
is she sitll around?

I was a 70s/80s child and no way would I have been left to do this. The walking home thing is...acceptable I guess, things were different then but as I say, not in my family, not a chance.

The school holidays is not on. Not at all. That is neglect. Neglect from necessity from the sound of it, rather than deliberate but neglect all the same.

Totally unacceptable. I’d let the Headteacher know.

Enid she is still around, she has chilled out a bit in the last few years

If it was me as a child....
Oh why are you still thinking about this, it was totally normal and fine then

But it was considered fine back then. Children used to be sent it to work at a very young age in the past. That was absolutely fine then but unacceptable by today's standards. You can't necessarily judge the past by modern standards.

That doesn't mean it can't have affects you though. However, that would be a thread with an entirely different opening post.

Oblomov there is a world of difference between giving a child the skills, common sense and confidence to walk home from school independently and leaving an 8 year old alone in the house from 8.30am to 5.30 pm every day through the summer holidays.

It wasn’t fine ‘back then’. I know no families where 8 year old children were alone all day through the holidays.

it wasnt considered fine in the 70s or 80s

I thought it was three year old also, thought that can’t be right
No idea of the age ..thought it must be 13
I’d be fine with that

Take care of yourself op.

I thought it was illegal to leave a child of 8 alone at home?

@Lardlizard

Why didn't you write the details of your childhood in your OP, and also state how it makes you feel now? You'd have got a lot more sympathetic responses than you have here.

It's pointless posting as you did without the appropriate context, never mind your own mental health as a result.

Haven’t RTFT but didn’t want to read and run. Have you thought about holiday clubs?