GP Appointment for 17yo Without Patents?

[BrokenMumTeenDD]

Hoping someone can answer before I have to ring the practice manager back.

We are trying to get an appointment with our GP to discuss DDs escalating MH problems that are looking very much like PMDD alongside HFA. We can't go with her as she will see us as ganging up on her & things are already bad enough with her targeting me.

So far I've been told we can't do this & she'll have to be with us at the appointment. This won't really help & will make things worse as she gets defensive & denies. We are seeing this personality swap fits neatly around her periods for example, yet DH mentioning something last night had her deny she'd had her period at all. Mind you she denied taking toast out of the toaster. To put her crumpets in, when I stood & watched her do it, but she was so adamant that she didn't, I just don't know what to think anymore.

She is 17, surely we can still do this at this age as we are still her legal guardians - or is that correct & if so how can we get around this please as we need to be able to speak openly without upsetting DD who currently genuinely seems to believe that I am abusive, so she will see this as ganging up & she's still so far okay with her DF & we don't want to rock that (I'm really not, but this has shook me to my core & is affecting my health badly too)

? TIA

as long as the patient consents to someone else being with them, then of course you can be there. think about husbands and wives for example!

you could make the appointment as together, go in and then after the initial hello`s leave her alone with the gp? give her privacy then.

i always thought over 16`s could go in alone from years ago!! as long as they pass the gillick competence they have say on privacy/ health. quote that at the manager!

Sorry OP-

Do you want an appointment without her to discuss her with GP

OR

Do you want her to have an appointment without you to discuss her

My DD is 16 and goes to the GP on her own, so unless there's different rules for MH matters I'd be surprised if they didn't let her go in without you.

Any reasonable GP is not going to have a problem with this. I’d just make an appointment in your name with a GP you know and trust, then go and discuss your daughter and take it from there.

Am I understanding you correctly that you want to go talk about her to her doctor without her being there?

I think anyone can tell a doctors their worries about a third party but the doctor is unlikely to be able to tell you anything back, it will be a one way process even as her parents as she is old enough to have the right to confidentiality. In many ways you would be better off sending a letter.

Realistically though what would be gained from going without her? At 17 you can’t force treatment on her so she needs to agree and accept help.

Sorry fir the confusion.

We want to go without her, as we can't talk openly in front of her without making things worse.

If anything it sounds she like may benefit from going without you rather than vice Versa

We know they can't tell us anything without her consent, we know she can go on her own - age for that is actually 14.

Pretty sure our GP would agree to it, but can't get past the receptionist so far.

Hoping to gain some help & insight as her mood swings are having a massive affect on us as a family & to make sure GP has full facts as DD would only have her version, which at times is scarily far from tge truth & we are deeply concerned for her

I can see why you personally feel that would work better. But if DD doesn't want to go you can't access the gp on her behalf. She has to want to access treatment. Does she actually want to but you think discussing her issues with her present will cause conflict between you or does she not want to at all?

Ahh OK. Its tricky because it's up to her essentially even if that's frustrating for you.

The GP wouldn't be able to disclose any information to you, but would be able to listen to your concerns and then address them with your daughter separately.

As a GP, the biggest duty of care is to the patient, that is your 17year old daughter with mental health issues. Trust is absolute if the GP and the patient are to work together. Anything that undermines this trust is not to be encouraged.

The 17 year old is likely to feel undermined and disempowered, even ostracised if they think theGP and parents are colliding.

I would suggest a clearly worded, open honest letter, sent to the GP, in advance of a consultation would be appropriate to set the scene. Then the 17 year old can go, with or without the parents, to speak in person with their GP. A good GP will be able to see both sides Being out across, without breaking trust and confidentiality.

Can’t you just make an appointment for you, then when you get in talk about your concerns about your daughter? If you get asked what for you can say you’re not coping very well and need to see the GP.

Just book an appointment for you and tell the GP your concerns. As everyone has said they won't confirm anything about your daughter but it will be useful for them to be made aware

Colluding not colliding.

You can tell the GP your worries but they cant tell you anything. You can ask them to ring you.

You could write a letter to the GP.
However you also need to think about whether you are happy for the GP to discuss what you’ve told them with your daughter. If you’re not it’s going to be very hard for the GP to use the information in any meaningful way. If you are happy for that to be shared then maybe your daughter would find it easier to hear what you say directly. What does your daughter want to happen?

I see what you mean. If you share a GP you might just have to make an appointment in your own name or ask for a telephone appointment if your surgery offer that and go directly.

For what it is worth what you want doesn't sound unreasonable and it does sound like you are trying to get the right help for your dd while respecting her rights, I hope you are able to get to the GP one way or another.

When our son was very troubled I made an appointment to see my GP to talk through the situation. He subsequently made an appointment with a different GP within the practice and had to explain everything. I don’t know if there was any crossover. When we went to CAMHS I had a session with a practitioner on my own, then he did then we were both in together.

I reading this as you and dad want to go and speak to her (daughter) gp without her there? Hmm that will probably be a no from the GP data protection and daughter is over 16 and can consent to medical treatment without parental consent, so their argument will be they can’t discuss other patients treatments or problems without their (the patient) consent. May I suggest you speak to your dr About how you could get help ? Perhaps they could tell you who to contact if you have concerns regarding mental health person over 16 you know do it in a roundabout way.

What Sheldon said- make the appointment for you. If receptionist asks why, say mental health. People with disabilities need others to advocate for them, for far older than 17!

The age of medical consent is 16 so unless she consents the dr will not speak to you unless the court decides she cannot make decisions for herself (eg sectioned). I've been there, it's really hard, I've actually bribed dd to go to a&e as well as two of us restraining her and taking her there

Google diagnosed or actual medical professional diagnosed? If she has seen someone before about this, can't you take her back there?
I find it extremely bizarre that you think you can go to a GP and discuss someones issues without them even being there. No medical professional should be 'diagnosing' or advising without having the patient there. So what exactly do you expect them to do?

At 17, my dd would have felt it a massive betrayal if I went to a dr to talk about her behind her back. And this..."yet DH mentioning something last night had her deny she'd had her period at all" is massively concerning. If any male did that "must be on your period" shit to me, I'd be angry, defensive and really really pissed off.