What is a 'dinner party'?

[nakedavengeragain]

Inspired by another thread which has lots of people saying they've never had a dinner party i was incredulous that they've never had friends over for dinner but I'm now wondering what is a 'dinner party'?

I've had various friends round for dinners of various embellishments on numerous occasions; always lots of wine, usually two or three courses, between two and 10 attendees, sometimes they go on late sometimes they don't. Background music, sometimes a tea light in a jar. Maybe there's an aperitif or after dinner cocktails. There is usually an attempt to dress nicely but we aren't in full evening dress.

Is this a dinner party or just having friends over? What makes a dinner party a dinner party? Have I ever had one is the question!

Of course you have. Why do you think evening dress is required?

It sounds like one to me but I've never had a dinner party or had friends over so who knows.

I certainly don't think evening dress is required but I'm actually quite shocked that if a dinner party is indeed 'having a couple of friends over to eat their evening meal' that so many people haven't had them!

This is Mn. It’s full of introverts who don’t answer the doorbell and need 48 hours notice of someone calling in for a coffee!

I think a dinner party is not really when you have friends round. It's more when you have acquaintances round, so work related people or different friends from different parts of your life who don't know each other. It's more formal than having friends round which would be a lovely fun night. When my friends come round we order take away and sit at the table and chat, shout, laugh etc. At a dinner party it's a bit more "speak to the person your left". Perhaps more formal. Might just be talking about the dinner parties I've gone too though!

Yes, I think that’s fair, @eyeoresancerre. If I have ‘friends over for dinner’, it might be three guests, lasagne and bagged salad, a bought dessert and wine in the kitchen. If it’s a dinner party, more people (who don’t all know one another), dining room, more formal three courses?

. It’s full of introverts who don’t answer the doorbell and need 48 hours notice of someone calling in for a coffee!
That's very true, though I'm not one of them.

The concept is dated and uber formal. Friends come for kitchen suppers and barbecues.

Whoah - hang on, @OhTheRoses what on earth is a 'kitchen supper'?!?!

More than two friends, minimum 2 course meal with wine. There all evening.

Having friends over for dinner or Sunday lunch is more casual

It's just terminology. "Dinner party" is an out of fashion term and not cool so few people admit to having them. I remember the previous thread.
What our parents would have called a dinner party, we now refer to as having friends over for food or one of many variations along those lines. Of course it's the same thing. Our ways of cooking have changed too so now we might have a take away, or a one pot dig in type meal, or lasagne and a bagged salad. But it's all the same.

When we have 'dinner parties' we usually invite another couple (usually to meet a new partner) and I make something nice and a pudding and we have wine/flowers on the table. We're weird though as DS eats with us too and has done since baby/toddlerhood (I'm Italian)

More often we just have friends round (often with DC) and about 6.30 I say "I'm making DS pasta does anyone want some" and everyone has pasta or oven pizza with the DC.

Sounds like you have had loads of dinner parties.

To me it is a meal that is planned ahead, that you invite people to and you make a bit more effort with the food and usually just adults.

The people you invite may not know each other before arriving.

It can have a theme, there can be music, or games or just a good old chin wag.

Our ways of cooking have changed too so now we might have a take away, or a one pot dig in type meal, or lasagne and a bagged salad. But it's all the same.

Not for me, I do have friends round and we get a take away, but that's not a dinner party to me.

Although due to health issues and chronic insomnia I tend to have people over earlier in the day, so maybe mine are not dinner parties.

Actually Sashh I think you're right. A take away is probably the exception.

Dinner Party: Dining Room, the wedding china, white linen, flower arrangement, 6 to 10 guests. Menu looks like - salmon mousse or lime and caper fried halloumi, followed by beef wellington or chicken veronique and pudding a roulade or mille feuille or I might actually make profiteroles with cointreau laced cream and melted Terry's choc orange.

Kitchen supper: 4 to 6 very relaxed - much simpler food - usually hearty: stroganoff, lamb tagine, etc, followed by bowl of strawberriies and fab vanilla ice-cream or a pavlova. Whenever warm enough involves garden.

We have people over once a week. Usually friends/neighbours. And we get invited back a lot. Children are normally included.

I refer you to Come Dine With Me and also Mrs Bucket's Candlelight Suppers. Or just have some friends over.

It doesn't need to be the set of An Inspector Calls to be a dinner party!

Abigail's Party is a useful guide

I would class it a dinner party if you sit around the table and eat two or three courses. Having friends over for a casual chilli wouldn't be a dinner party.

I used to have dinner parties when I was younger. We probably would just call it "coming to dinner" at the time but it would involve dressing nicely, an effort made for a special desert or meal that could take time to make or be more expensive, maybe trying something new and practicing it. Usually a gift of wine or flowers, sometimes people didn't known each other or not know each other well. Gentle music. Nicely laid table etc.

We weren't super wealthy but it was a wealthy area/post uni/v educated a bit carrying on formal dinners from uni.

However, completely different area now, have kids, we have a much lower income, different jobs and complrtely different social circles. Friends come over for a meal and its nowhere near as formal and I dont do half as much preparing. There's a definite difference in my mind. We aren't inviting colleagues from work for example but closer friends.

I wouldnt call what we do now a kitchen supper (not in london ;) ) as terminology wouldn't be recognised but thats what it is. Partly we dont have a dining room

Can we swap dinner party menus? I'd like to see what others do.