Is your life better, worse, or the same as you were expecting it to be?

[EmmaNumberThree]

Just an idle musing, really.

I’m not sure this is how I thought my life would turn out.

I’ve got 2 amazing DC, a good job, a nice home and I’m financially ok.

But my eldest DC struggles with his mental health, I’m divorced, NC with my mum, and never seem to have 5 minutes to myself.

I just wondered if your lives were turning out how you thought they would?

Much better, although I don't remember, as a child, imagining what my adult life would be like. But I didn't expect to be as financially well off (all due to luck, timing, inheritance and then high earning partner), or to have grandchildren (again courtesy of DP). And I had interesting work that I enjoyed, and lots more to be thankful for.

Growing up my only examples of adult females were SAHM’s who married well and did everything for the kids and schools etc

I just pictured it would be the same for me

Little did I realise that wasn’t reality for many and hasn’t been for me.

I’ve worked hard all my adult life since leaving school to be able to support myself

I am married now with children but never did I ever think I’d be leaving them to have to work and that with two parents working that things would feel so financially hard

I absolutely love my life, I think I have orchestrated it to be as it is now, I have a perfect life /work balance in a job I love, wonderful husband, marvellous mates and I want for nothing, I’m not at all materialistic, I don’t need expensive jewellery or a large flash car, I love my holidays and my home, I am content with my lot

That is the main definition of happiness - being content with what you have, not wanting more or better and no jealousy

I had a happy childhood but realised in my teens that we were quite poor and my DPs made some poor choices. I was quite different to my family who were happy with very little. It motivated me through Uni and a difficult start in my career. I wanted more intellectually and materially if I'm honest.

Life didn't go exactly as planned as I divorced. All very amicable though and 2 DC who I adore. On my second marriage now and we are very happy? DC happy and I am fulifilled in my career. I also have some totally fantastic friends.
Im not in the house or area I wanted to libe in. But we are happy with our lot and are lucky in that we can afford nicer things for not getting the big mortgage.

Much, much better. I grew up in poverty in an isolated rural village, with abusive parents. I even attempted suicide in my teens. I moved far away and started over and it was the best thing I ever did. My life since has had some hard times obviously, as most peoples do. But I have 2 DC who are now adults, and are my favourite people in the world. I have a lovely home and a decently paid career. There is nothing I feel I lack in life now. I never thought I would feel this contented and happy.

Worse, at least at the moment. DD is very disabled and will probably never live independently. We get no respite from caring and there’s just no chance to pursue any hobbies, see friends, relax. I love my daughter madly - she’s wonderful - but the thought of spending the rest of my life like this makes me want to cry.

Worse for sure.

I couldn’t say worse or better,

I imagined I’d marry a man who could take care of me while I had children, maybe I’d be a teacher or something like that but he would be the bread winner in the family,

I am single, no children, no likelihood of meeting anyone, so in that regard it’s worse, but I have a good career, great friends, a roof over my head and I’m happy for the most part.

I would still like a family, and I often have to remind myself there’s still time, but I do get scared it won’t happen for me. However, I am self sufficient and I no longe believe I need a man to make me whole, so that’s much better.

Worse: career. I wanted to be an author but chose a salaried job (which I loved) for practical reasons. Then lost it due to depression. Now I just work for money (and not a lot of it)
Worse: friends/ social circle of zero
Better: 4dc (6-14) who are healthy, doing well (mostly!) and generally lovely
Better: DH