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Original poster

Is your life better, worse, or the same as you were expecting it to be?

60 replies

EmmaNumberThree · 22/02/2020 17:05

Just an idle musing, really.

I’m not sure this is how I thought my life would turn out.

I’ve got 2 amazing DC, a good job, a nice home and I’m financially ok.

But my eldest DC struggles with his mental health, I’m divorced, NC with my mum, and never seem to have 5 minutes to myself.

I just wondered if your lives were turning out how you thought they would?

OP posts:
Liddell · 22/02/2020 23:10

Much worse than I hoped for.

Inforthelonghaul · 22/02/2020 23:13

So much better now but there have been some very tough times on the way.

MintedLamb · 22/02/2020 23:24

I honestly believed I'd have a brilliant career and lots of money, it never occurred to me until only a few years ago that that isn't going to happen. So I'd say it's worse than I expected.
That's not to say I'm not happy with what I do have, it's just not at all what I imagined.

Zenithbear · 22/02/2020 23:27

Better but it's took a while.
I had a childhood where I was ignored and made to feel unimportant. I am nc/lc with half of my family. Plus other stuff.
No thing's defeated me though and I have lots of blessings to count now. I am with my wonderful dp, have grown up dc that are doing well, my lovely dogs, a lovely home and lifestyle and am financially well off.

bitheby · 22/02/2020 23:39

Worse. I left university with ridiculously high expectations. Struggled in work, relationships, got diagnosed as autistic at 40.

I have a good job and a nice house but it's been tough and I don't have the family I always wanted.

Luxembourgmama · 22/02/2020 23:39

1000% better couldn't have dreamed of meeting anyone like my DH

AutumnRose1 · 22/02/2020 23:44

I guess it depends on when....

As a teen and up to late 20s, I thought I’d have a good career and a big house.

Though by late 20s I knew I was clinging to a desperate hope. I didn’t ha e the robust health needed for a big career and property prices were insane.

Early 30s, I just thought everything was going to be shit but by the time I hit 40, I’d learned to be happy with my lot. My health also improved and I have lovely friends.

Still wishing for the big house though. Just keeping on with the Premium Bonds!

Poetryinaction · 22/02/2020 23:48

I was dreading growing up but knew I would love being a mum.
Now I am a mum to 3, I had no idea how amazing my kids would be! I would like to stop time.
BUT
I am disappointed in my parents, who never visit.
I never sleep.
My dh has serious MH problems.

I feel fulfilled in my role as mother, so I think that trumps everything else.

Ladiva1971 · 22/02/2020 23:48

I never had any huge expectations about how my life was going to be, had my 1st child at 16, left the country to start a new life returned 10 years later abused alcohol and drugs. if anyone had said that would have been my life I would have laughed. I have had great times and shit times, I made a lot of mistakes but I can't turn the clock back so yeah I am happy.

tunnocksreturns2019 · 22/02/2020 23:51

Better, especially once I’d met DH and had DC. Much worse by my early thirties, once he’d been diagnosed with cancer and died.

But I love my DCs dearly, have good friends and my health, and am making the most of life, though I think it’s unlikely I’ll marry again.

Verily1 · 22/02/2020 23:52

So much worse.

I expected to be married have had dcs earlier than I did, live in a nice biggish house in a nice area, go on nice holidays every year, drive a semi decent car. Assumed good health. Successful career with senior position by now. Plenty of money to be comfortable.

Ie as good as my parents life- hopefully better!

My life’s a train wreck.
Bad decisions left right and centre but some awful luck as well.

If I’d just been born 5-10 years previously.

WanderingTrolley1 · 22/02/2020 23:52

Much better financially. Much worse MH.

riotlady · 22/02/2020 23:53

Much, much better. I tried to kill myself in my early twenties because I felt like things would never get better but they did. I met my partner a few years later, we have our daughter, I have great friends and I enjoy what I’m doing with my life. I’m very lucky.

blue25 · 22/02/2020 23:54

Better. Fortunate to have a well paid career that I love and financially very comfortable. Bought a house and live very happily with my partner.

Ohyesiam · 23/02/2020 00:03

@ParkheadParadise Flowers so sorry for your loss.

I really hated being a child and adolescent, so the thing I expected from adulthood was a lot more autonomy and to just be able to be me. And yes, i certainly have that, along with love and support and a lovely home and community. I never pictured kids, because I thought childhood was too shit to put anyone through, but as soon as I met DH I knew I could have children with him, and we have amazing kids.

EdgeWithNoReason · 23/02/2020 01:54

Interesting question!
I never imagined what my adult life would be like as a child. So I can't really compare.

But.. I was a very young single mum with limited education. Since then I've done a degree and a post grad, watched my DC grow up into truly beautiful people and I'm very okay with the person I am.

eggstrordinaire · 23/02/2020 02:07

Life compared to what I thought it would be - less creative, never thought I would be long term single, too much debt.

Time40 · 23/02/2020 02:26

Worse. Much worse.

DramaAlpaca · 23/02/2020 02:36

My life is pretty much what I'd have wanted it to be, if I'd ever actually thought about it. It's not perfect, not at all, but it's comfortable enough.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 23/02/2020 02:54

So sad for everyone saying worse.Sad

I never thought I’d meet a nice man and have a family; thought I’d either have to be alone or else settle for someone no one else wanted. My DH is amazing and we have four lovely kids and are comfortably off. I have lovely friends and a tolerable family.

Yes there are negatives; I’m progressively disabled, one of our kids has health worries. I didn’t have an amazing career despite being pretty academic. But we are happy.

MiniGuinness · 23/02/2020 03:03

Much better. I was really lazy at school, and I don’t think anyone held out much hope for me. But I loved university and worked really really hard and have a fantastic job. I am also married to a lovely man after the dickheads I dated when young. My kids are bloody lovely too.

Kinsters · 23/02/2020 03:04

In some ways much better than I could have ever imagined, worse in others. I'm married to an amazing man who is handsome, funny, kind and hard working. We've got a beautiful daughter and are planning to have more children soon. We live in a lovely house in a friendly neighbourhood and don't worry about money.

But we've had some bereavements in the family and we live far away from lots of our family and friends.

Also this is relative to my teenage expectations and the fact I didn't have a proper boyfriend until I was 21 (which looking back on it seems totally fine but at the time I felt like an aberration). I guess there's plenty of time for it to go pear shaped...

Idolovechocolategimmygimmy · 23/02/2020 03:04

Worse. I chose the wrong path in the arts now the arts are completely under funded and because I needed stability I'm unskilled and can't afford to re-train or study and stuck in a low paid 18K job with no ladder to climb that is a high pressure job and consuming requiring me to work 5-6 days a week (6 twice per month) full time. I have a mortgage to pay a massive council tax bill and we struggle to make ends meet. No savings no holidays no treats and no family around for support. I feel let down by friends, I seem to choose friends badly and I'm there for them but don't seem to care much for me. But moved away now anyway and don't know anyone. God all that sounds depressing. At least I have a job and a roof over my head. I'm thankful for that!

grandmasterstitch · 23/02/2020 03:13

My life is so much better. I always imagined a loving husband and children but the reality of them is much better than I expected. We're lucky enough to own our home and DH earns enough that I can work part time and be home with our DS most of the time. I have a chronic health condition but it's well managed and I struggle with anxiety but again it's something I can get help for and I'm grateful to live in a time when so much help is available. I would say I'm very lucky

crosser62 · 23/02/2020 03:15

Better.
All totally self earned, self directed, determination and a huge amount of good luck.

Expectations of low paid, low skilled work. Struggling to survive.

Actually far more intelligent than was given credit for, however a devastating traumatic family disaster as a 15 year old sent my guiding lights and most influential caring family members into a huge decline.

I pretty much was abandoned to my own devices.

I stumbled onwards, made a series of very sensible decisions and settled down to gaining my qualifications.
That has set me up for life.

I am very astute and strong minded. I have no tolerance for any one wasting my time.
I chose those around me with meticulous care.
So yes, life is good, happy, comfortable and the future is taken care of too.
I’m very very lucky.