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Original poster

Having a panic - is it really impossible to find love in your 30s?

34 replies

Splitsunrise · 21/02/2020 22:20

I am probably about to become single (my choice) shortly and am 28, 29 soon. No children. I thought I was confident in my choice (long time coming, spark gone etc) and I’ve just read a stupid Daily Fail article about how much harder it is for women in their 30s to find partners.

Is this true?! I guess the good ones are taken and maybe men in their thirties are more attracted to younger women in their 20s?

Sorry if this sounds ridiculous, but having a bit of a panic. I know I’m “young” but just don’t know if I should be trying to make this relationship work instead.

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 21/02/2020 22:22

Not at all, I met my fiancé in my mid-30s when I thought all hope was lost. We moved in after a year, got engaged and fell pregnant at 18 months in. Has been far far lovelier than any other relationship I’ve been in because we are both completely confident in who we are and what we want.

You’re still very young, it will happen for you, please don’t worry Flowers

OxanaVorontsova · 21/02/2020 22:22

I met my husband at 28 married at 29, didn't think I was old or past it at the time, am nearly 50 now

bellinisurge · 21/02/2020 22:24

Married at 39 - knew each other for about 2 years. Baby at 41. In my fifties. Still happily married.

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ChasingRainbows19 · 21/02/2020 22:24

I met mine at 31 after being fed up of being single when I turned 30, 9 happy years together so I got there in the end, You are still young and have lots of opportunities ahead of you

I've friends in late 30s that are single but that's because they don't settle for crap or game playing and are happy in their own skin waiting until a good one comes along.

ChasingRainbows19 · 21/02/2020 22:25

Also don't settle for a rubbish relationship because you are scared you won't meet anyone else. Life is too short for that shit. Ten years down the line you. Ours be stuck in a unhappy relationship and no better off!

ChasingRainbows19 · 21/02/2020 22:26

*could be stuck

TeeBee · 21/02/2020 22:26

I've just found the love of my life at 47.

Jobhell · 21/02/2020 22:30

I get this completely. My relationship recently ended. I thought (when we were still happy) that he might be the one. I'm 27. I have been worrying now that I won't meet anyone or have kids but have given my head a wobble and stopped worrying about it. Firstly because worrying about it won't change anything and secondly because there's lots of lovely stories of people meeting their partners in 30s and 40s and still having kids. I reckon we'll be fine Smile

jillandhersprite · 21/02/2020 22:30

Met mine at 35

glowingtwig · 21/02/2020 22:31

Don't panic! You've got lots of time. I met my DH at 33, we were engaged at 36, married at 37 and baby at 38. When I think back to my boyfriend at 29 I cringe!
If this relationship isn't working for you get out now before you waste time, only for it to finish later.
You're still really young, go with the flow is my advice. All my close friends were single early 30s and met their husbands and wives a bit later.
I also found being straight about my desire for children was a good idea. I had the conversation with my DH early on because it was an important consideration for me by that point.

marriednotdead · 21/02/2020 22:32

Don't settle! Too many of us have been there (sometimes unwittingly) and it is worth getting it right, even if it takes longer than you'd hope.

Watched exmil remarry a few years ago after being widowed in her 70s and she's never been happier. Another lady close to me met her DH in sheltered accommodation! Knowing both of them gave me the confidence to hold out for someone special after my divorce, and to learn to be content in my own skin meanwhile.

Met DP 18 months ago, he's truly my soulmate. We are both over 50 Smile

Ohyesiam · 21/02/2020 22:32

I met my totally lovely husband at 36 and went on to have two gorgeous kids.
I’m 53 now and we are still very happy.

Weffiepops · 21/02/2020 22:35

No, if the relationship isn't working, it's right to end it rather than try to flog a dead horse. In the wise words of Desiderata, love is an perennial as the grass, no matter what age you are it can find you. Best thing is to not look for it but instead focus on self love and living your best life. Go out with friends take up new hobbies do things on your bucket list etc. Just get out there and enjoy Thanks

JellyfishandShells · 21/02/2020 22:57

Met my husband at 29, in friendship group - then started dating when I was 31, married at 33. Two lovely DDs later .......

Original poster
Splitsunrise · 21/02/2020 23:06

Thank you all! It’s scaring me because most of my university friends are married/engaged now, one with a baby on the way. And I don’t know how to meet new people! In between jobs at the moment, at my salsa class everyone is with a partner or fairly obviously gay, at the gym the men are married/older, I had a look at a friend’s online dating app and I would have swiped no at every single one!!

My current DP completely gets me (in lots of ways), we have been best friends, he’s the same as me in the way we think about things, same values..... but I don’t really have any romantic interest in him anymore and have kind of checked out I guess.

OP posts:
aibutohavethisusername · 21/02/2020 23:07

I was 38 when I met my OH.

Original poster
Splitsunrise · 21/02/2020 23:25

And I also really want children and don’t want to leave it too late...which is massively weighing on my mine. I know LOTS of women do have them late thirties/early 40s!

OP posts:
EL8888 · 21/02/2020 23:27

I met my fiancé when l was 36. Honestly you have plenty of time

MrsP2015 · 21/02/2020 23:36

Sounds like you're doing the right thing ending your relationship.

I and a fair few of my friends didn't meet our dh's til in our 30's. Kids mid to late 30's.
All better this way imo.

Don't settle for 2nd best Smile

Redshoeblueshoe · 21/02/2020 23:42

I know someone in their 90's who has just moved in with someone ❤️

NerdyBird · 22/02/2020 00:14

I met my husband just before I turned 35. Had a baby at 37, got married at 40. Recently friends who have met and married much earlier than me have been getting divorced...

crustycrab · 22/02/2020 00:19

Yeah it's ridiculous. You've all the time in the world so go and get it

Original poster
Splitsunrise · 22/02/2020 11:25

Thank you....

Where did you meet partners in your 30s? I guess usual places you would any other age...I just don’t know where!

OP posts:
ghostmous3 · 22/02/2020 12:32

I started going out with my dp at 41. He was 47.

Both met at work. Both single. Been together 2 years. Hes lovely

okiedokieme · 22/02/2020 12:37

Of course not, I found an amazing dp far older than you!