The nastiest thing you've ever said....

[Clawdy]

and can't forgive yourself for it? I've quite a few, but the worst was when my younger sister ( we were constantly having a go at each other) brought home her new best friend from school. I looked up as they came in the room, and sniggered under my breath, "Ha, I knew she'd be ugly." They ignored me and went off, but I've never forgotten it, and wondered if that little girl remembers it. Many, many years ago, but I wish I could go back and change that horrible moment.

Thank you Atalune. Just writing it out has brought it all back. It was five years ago and i can still hear the conversation in my head. I didn’t at the time but now I think about if it were me and I wouldn’t want to die in a strange place either, I’d want to be at home. She must have felt really betrayed, so even though I know it was the safest place for her to be I still feel terrible. On top of which, she really believed in the people who were “treating her” (aka bleeding her for money on her death bed for “distance healing) and I think she really believed that if I had taken her home she wouldn’t die. At least part of her did.

Biggest regret of my life. I hope there’s never a bigger one to be honest, but I do know I need to let it go.

I called my husband a fucking ugly bastard, that he was full of himself and that I fucking hated him once during an argument.

Really ashamed of that, none of it is true.

"It's not my fault you are like eeyore, fat and fucking depressed"

Regret saying that to my then best friend in the middle of an argument. I was also a teenager at the time.

When I was suffering from postnatal depression, I told my husband that I wish he was dead.

I told my dad he was a failure doing a really horrible time in his life. I have been forever sorry since. 15yr old me was an absolute b*tch.

2 things spring to mind which I still feel really ashamed by.
First was to my uncle, I was around 7/8 years old. My uncle was a wind up merchant and he wound me up too much one day and I snapped said something along the lines of "I'm glad your mum died" I still cringe when I think about it all those years later.
The second was to my cousin, she was going through a tough time with her mental health and she had too much to drink at family wedding and became inconsolable, screaming and shouting at everyone. I was so mad, hungover, tired the next day and when she tried to apologise I told her she was an embarrassment to the family. Her face crumbled. Still makes me tear up when I think about her face.