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Original poster

The nastiest thing you've ever said....

56 replies

Clawdy · 21/02/2020 15:32

and can't forgive yourself for it? I've quite a few, but the worst was when my younger sister ( we were constantly having a go at each other) brought home her new best friend from school. I looked up as they came in the room, and sniggered under my breath, "Ha, I knew she'd be ugly." They ignored me and went off, but I've never forgotten it, and wondered if that little girl remembers it. Many, many years ago, but I wish I could go back and change that horrible moment.

OP posts:
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 22/02/2020 15:39

Thanks for saying so Flowers I can tell she doesn't feel bad, she gives me daggers and hides her daughter away from me if we see each other at all.

Pretty much wishing someones child dead is definitely not a high point in my life Sad

I genuinely do think she was trying to be nice, just really badly fucked it up.

Lordfrontpaw · 22/02/2020 15:45

To be honest - there are a couple on here that I think were pretty justified/understandable and excusable.

Oblomov20 · 22/02/2020 15:48

I've said some terrible things. To Dh. Sad thing is I really meant them, and they were true. But I should have showed more self control.

lostinleaves · 22/02/2020 15:55

Difficult I'm surprised you hadn't said it to her before that. I'd have punched her I expect.

Mlou32 · 22/02/2020 15:55

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult you do not have anything to say sorry for, I can't believe how cruel and insensitive that woman was towards you. Unbelievable. I think most people would have torn strips off her at the first comment.

Itwasntme1 · 22/02/2020 15:57

I was trying to be funny when I was a teenager on work experience and made a really hurtful comment about an older woman not being attractive. She overheard me. It was over twenty years ago and I can still feel the burn of shame.

It still shocks me that I could be so cruel.

cstaff · 22/02/2020 16:02

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult
I can't believe she gives you dagger looks. She needed to be told that what she was saying was not comforting to you. What a stupid insensitive old witch. I just can't believe you managed to hold it in for so long with all her ridiculous thoughtless horrible comments. Flowers for you.

AmelieTaylor · 22/02/2020 16:06

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

I’m sorry for the loss of both of your children 🌷. I never understand that type of comment when I read it on here, I’m sure when most people say it, they (in some strange way) mean well, but to me it always seems like rubbing salt in the wound. I totally fail to see how she didn’t see that, saying it time & time again. So she cried? ‍🤷🏻‍♀️. I imagine she was just embarrassed being called out like that, but honestly, who cares? She didn’t think about you, she was massively insensitive or deliberately hurtful...she got no less than than she deserved.

Don’t waste another nano second feeling bad about calling her out on it & definitely do not apologise. Partly because you have nothing to apologise for and even more so, because you definitely do not need her dragging back into your life!

Again, I’m very sorry that you lost both your Son & Daughter 💕

TriangleBingoBongo · 22/02/2020 16:06

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

I’d say that counts as one of the most totally justified, rational things you’ve ever said.

I wonder if the woman didn’t know how to approach you but wanted you to know she was thinking of you and your daughter. Even if that was the case she was bloody thoughtless and totally deserved to be corrected.

AmelieTaylor · 22/02/2020 16:12

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Pretty much wishing someones child dead is definitely not a high point in my life

You weren’t wishing her daughter dead! You were just trying to make her see how horrible she was being and at worst wishing for her to feel a fraction of what you were feeling. No innocent child was wished dead in the making of your comment

You’re giving her FAR too much credit for ‘meaning well’.

I mean, come on oh how heartbreaking, having to buy a cake for your dd who cant appreciate it, count yourself lucky though, in a couple of weeks I have a house full of kids for my dds party, what I would give for some peace and quiet". That’s just fucking nasty, not even just thoughtless and FAR from ‘meaning well’

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 22/02/2020 16:15

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult I think you were admirably restrained, frankly. She deserved to hear all that, and more. Flowers

AmelieTaylor · 22/02/2020 16:20

I’ve been thinking about it & I think the nastiest thing I’ve said was ‘I hate you’ to my Dad.

I didn’t. I wanted it to be like in the movies where they hug you and see the error of their ways (I don’t even remember why I was feeling pissed off with him - something that in those days felt like a massive deal, like not being allowed to ride my bike to school or having to take my little brother out with me with my friends🙄) . I don’t remember what he said, but as long as I live I’ll never forget the look in his face.😢the worst thing was, I didn’t even mean it, not even in the heat of the moment, it was a calculated move that didn’t get the reaction I wanted.

Clingingontomyforties · 22/02/2020 16:26

When I found out my husband had been having an affair I told him to go stick his dick in a food blender. It just came out of my mouth and I don’t regret a word of it.

CarebearST4R3 · 22/02/2020 16:33

I’ve actually been quite racist in the past. I hadn’t meant to be. But the film Get Out really opened my eyes about my behaviour too.

I also basically interrupted a colleague to tel them what they were saying was wrong. I did realise that I was totally in the wrong and said so and apologised at the time.

But at 2AM, these are the things that play round in my head.

cultkid · 22/02/2020 16:35

I told my husband he was a peasant and that I had married down 😭😭😭😭 really cruel

Mammyloveswine · 22/02/2020 16:36

Probably when I shouted that my little boy was "horrible" when I walked in on him sat on top of his younger brother just hitting him repeatedly!

I really shouted, I was just so shocked! I called him a "horrible little boy". I still think about it now, it was just instinctive seeing him just hitting his tiny brother (2 year age gap, 3.5 and 1.5 at the time).

Also when I argued with my sister when we were younger I'd always end up screaming that she was a "big fat cow" which is a horrible thing to say. Again I often think about it in the middle of the night.

Words really can hurt.

Both my sis and my little boy seem to have forgotten all about it and I did apologise straight away both times.

But I still feel like a nasty bitch.

CarebearST4R3 · 22/02/2020 16:36

I also said to my mum that she cared about a film she was watching more than me.
It was so incredibly nasty. But I still feel like the forgotten child a lot, so I’m not sure how to feel about that.

keepingbees · 22/02/2020 16:36

I was working with my friend at college when I was a teenager. Trying to be funny I jokingly called her a name. It was nothing awful and I truly meant it in a jokey banter kind of way. But she wasn't a banter kind of person and took huge offence to it. She didn't say anything at the time, but later quietly told the whole class when I wasn't around and turned them all against me.
I apologised and tried to make amends but it was never the same again.
I still cringe when I think of it as it was a stupid thing to say.

I've said some nasty things to my DH during arguments. My only defence is that he has at times pushed me to my absolute limits.

MovinOnUp · 22/02/2020 16:40

A trainee manager when I was a 16yo YTS (showing my age)
We had routine bag checks upon entering and leaving work.
Trainee manager was a very overweight woman, Who upon looking in my bag from the bakery said ''Tsk tsk, A lot of calories in that, My Mother always told me to stay away from cakes''
My response...''Well you clearly didn't listen'' and stormed off.

I still feel bad about it to this day.

Itwasntme1 · 22/02/2020 16:49

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult please do not ever apologise to that intolerable lady.

What you said was perfectly reasonable, and really quite restrained under the circumstances.

SinkGirl · 22/02/2020 17:02

I have one that honestly haunts me every day of my life.

My mum died a few years ago, stomach and ovarian cancer. She battled on for 18 months but then ended up in a hospice. We’d spent as much time as we could in those 18 months and became really close despite the fact our relationship had always been quite fragile. She wanted to go home but her husband had said no, it wasn’t safe (OT had assessed the flat and it needed modifications to make it safe as she was so weak). She couldn’t eat anything and was vomiting waste, she was very close to death.

She was very into alternative medicine and some of the people bleeding her dry for cash had told her that if she stayed in the hospice, the place would kill her.

She called me in tears, begging me to take her home. I said I couldn’t - I wasn’t able to care for her, I lived in an attic flat, there was no way. She screamed at me about how I was selfish and giving up on her and how if I left her there she was going to die, it all got very fraught, and I shouted at her that she was going to die wherever she was and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.

At that point she really didn’t accept she was going to die. I should never have said it. She was really broken by it and I regret it every day.

The next day she wouldn’t give me a hug or talk to me, and two days later she died. That was the last conversation we had, even though I was there until she died.

After that call she accepted the painkillers she’d been refusing, I think she gave up and wanted to die and I wish I could change it. Just thinking about it makes me cry.

PETRONELLAS · 22/02/2020 17:04

Teenager. At school. Told someone who had been a good friend to me that she annoyed me and irritated everyone. I remember spitting the words out after getting her to meet me in the school toilets.
So shameful. She was almost apologetic. Never treated anyone unfairly since but remember her often.

MissMogwai · 22/02/2020 17:15

I've said a couple of things over the years that I wish I could take back.

I've actually come on to say that my own teenage daughter said she hated me and other hurtful comments when she was going through a confusing and traumatic time. I won't lie it did hurt at the time, but she said those things to me as I was closest to her and her safety net. I know she regrets them now and I don't hold any of it against her. She's a lovely person and I'm proud of her.

I'm sure all of your parents are the same. No ones perfect.

Atalune · 22/02/2020 17:21

sink you must forgive yourself. Really and truly. You didn’t do anything wrong, your poor mum didn’t know what she was saying, I’m sure.

My dad said some horrible things close to death because he was frightened.

Forgive yourself. Flowers

Atalune · 22/02/2020 17:27

I once made fun of a guys stutter at a party. I was drunk and i “thought” I was being oh so hilarious.
I am ashamed. It was over twenty years ago and the shame still crushes me.

I humiliated him. But the humiliation is mine. I am so haunted by my cruelty.

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