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Original poster

This Queen stuff on Facebook

36 replies

SouthWestmom · 19/02/2020 20:13

It's so ironic that in tagging 70 odd 'friends' who are queens and celebrated and strong etc etc in the spirit of 'being kind' and 'straightening each other's crowns' people are doing exactly that thing of picking someone last for PE; missing them off the guest list; turning down their offer of coffee (again) and reinforcing that some of us aren't 'queens' or 'beloved' or, let's call it, popular.

So, let's not pretend this is anything about being kind and making people feel important. It's another fleeting trend that kicks sand at those of us who aren't invited to play the game.

OP posts:
ThisIsBigMoon · 19/02/2020 20:14

Yup!

Iwouldlikesomecake · 19/02/2020 20:17

Yep

My MIL who as far as I know really likes me, tagged my husband's ex in it and not me, lol. I am not offended but that and the fact one of my school bullies (who I have mostly forgiven but not forgotten) shared it makes me realise what bullshit it is.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 19/02/2020 20:19

Why do you care though? I’m not on any social media at all. I couldn’t care less!

It’s a really good feeling to not even care or know what you’re talking about! (Meant in a constructive criticism way I’m not trying to be nasty!)

Iamtooknackeredtorun · 19/02/2020 20:20

It’s total virtue signalling bullshit. No one has tagged me and I suspect it’s because they know I won’t join in.

Original poster
SouthWestmom · 19/02/2020 20:22

I think I care because its framed 'let's all be kind and take a moment to help each other out' and i guess I wanted somewhere to say it's pants.

Three people have done it on my mine (I'd have lost count if it was more) and I guess I've realised I'm not as important to them as 70 other women are.

Which, if I was more vulnerable after a crap year, would make me feel shit.

OP posts:
Original poster
SouthWestmom · 19/02/2020 20:23

If I was being kind to myself I would say is because people know I wouldn't join in. But I think it's because they don't think much of me in terms of my significance to them.

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DamnShesaSexyChick · 19/02/2020 20:27

I'd be embarrassed to be tagged in something like that

LoonyLunaLoo · 19/02/2020 20:28

Yep. Also, you can guarantee people are comparing themselves to other people’s pictures or trying to get the perfect selfie. Most of them clearly have filters on. So the whole idea totally goes aginst the idea of “being kind”, it’s just another way of making people feel shot about themselves.

kenandbarbie · 19/02/2020 20:30

I could not be arsed with being tagged on Facebook and all those I've tagged people who I know will share this posts. Raising awareness or some such bullshit. All I want to see are cute pictures of people's babies tbh.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 19/02/2020 20:30

I can’t think of 70 people in general who are genuinely important to me!
Maybe 20 but that’s about it!

It’s so fake! I suppose you could use this as a barometer to sift the wheat from the chaff and focus on your real friendships? Turn it into something positive.

Original poster
SouthWestmom · 19/02/2020 20:37

But if you don't care that is fine - what I'm saying is that something being done to promote people looking out for each other has the potential to make people who do care or feel left out even worse.

70 is the max I think FB allows - some are tagging fewer.

Last time I tried to cull FB I got messages from people asking why they'd been deleted.

OP posts:
aibutohavethisusername · 19/02/2020 20:41

I wasn’t tagged in any... ho him.

aibutohavethisusername · 19/02/2020 20:41

Hum

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 19/02/2020 20:42

But you are in control of your feelings - don’t give these people who clearly aren’t that bothered about you the power to upset you. Maybe take a break from social media.

I agree it’s vacuous and sounds a bit “mean girls”. I just think social media is largely negative full stop, full of narcissistic people fishing for “likes”. It’s just so silly!
It sounds like for your own happiness you should step away from it noeuf - it’s obviously upsetting you.

TroysMammy · 19/02/2020 20:43

I quickly changed my settings so no one could tag me in this shite.

Original poster
SouthWestmom · 19/02/2020 20:50

Generally it's not upsetting, I like some groups I'm in etc. It's just these 'chain letters' that I'd like to chat about really. I'm not upset for me really just pointing out the twattiness of it

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SlippersAndThePaper · 19/02/2020 20:57

I’ve only seen it as ‘tag 50 women’. Why 50? Why not tag all the women on your friends list?

It’s just another popularity contest and a vain excuse to get other people to tell you how beautiful you are.

Regardless of it being Facebook shit (which it is), there are going to be people who already feel vulnerable feeling even more shit about themselves right now.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/02/2020 21:00

I've been tagged in several of these. I don't think it's being kind, more like being bloody annoying. Virtue signalling time wasters

SlippersAndThePaper · 19/02/2020 21:07

There is nothing ‘kind’ about excluding people.

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 19/02/2020 22:12

I agree. Someone i am quite close to at work tagged 99 other women and not me. Normally i couldn't give a shit but i never get tagged in this kind of thing. It'd be nice once in a while. Just if you're having a shit lonely day, to see someones thought about you even for a second.

Voxx · 19/02/2020 22:15

I’ve been tagged in a couple of these. I haven’t and won’t respond. Genuinely, what is the point? It’s worthless virtue signalling and plain cringe to boot. It does nothing to help those in genuine distress and may even make some who are in a bad place mentally feel worse if they’re left out.

Original poster
SouthWestmom · 19/02/2020 22:20

I suppose it's made me realise the imbalance of relationships. Like people I see often, say hi to, are actually acquaintances and their real friends are the ones they are tagging.
If you see what I mean.
And by overtly selecting some of your 'friends' to tag, you're saying the others don't really matter. Regardless of what you know about their circumstances.

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SamSeabornforPresident · 19/02/2020 22:25

I wouldn't respond and, even if I did, would only tag people who I thought would be into that kind of crap. So most people I consider good friends I wouldn't tag, as I think they've got more sense!

I've not seen it at all on my fb anyway, and have only heard of it on here, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

SpockPaperScissorsLizardRock · 19/02/2020 22:28

I've had the same thought recently too. It's just another way to leave people out.
I have plenty of Facebook friends but no one i'm close to and have never been tagged in any 'challenges'. I think they are a load of crap but it still hurts.

No one ever ask after me if I drop out of contact for a while etc. What they don't know is that I have anxiety, depression and probably autism. I have an autistic child who is extremely challenging at the moment but no one ever says are you ok. It's all talk for Facebook.

IFeelItComing · 19/02/2020 22:30

Massive pile of shite. Cringe. Excuse to post a selfie in the name of empowering others. I have been tagged twice and wish I hadn't. I must disable notifications about the photos (of other women) that I've been "tagged in".