AIBU to ask why parents who have favourite children.....

[Magnolia21]

don't try to conceal it as best they can?

We have always felt a bit second division when it comes to DPs parents. What I don't get is why they always need to tell us each time they give DPs brother's family yet another generous cash handout rather than keeping it quiet. If they kept it to themselves, we would be none the wiser. It seems like they prioritise getting the glory of making the grand gesture over everything else.

Obviously it is their money and they are entitled to do what they want with it. I just wish that they could be more discreet in how they behave.

We joke about this as neither my husband or me are the favourites. Luckily we both have parents who try to hide it and are very fair financially. We still know where we are in the pecking order but it doesn't hurt because we are still loved.

In my family, the mil clearly favours my partner (hates me tho) but my mum and dad clearly favour my brother to the point my eldest always notices and it’s starting to cloud her judgement of her uncle and her gran. I’m used to it. Brother was given £2k toward Lawyer fees for buying his first house and he spent it all on his now ex wife’s engagement ring. He then got similar amounts from both parents for his second extravagant wedding whereas I was told not to consider getting married as they wouldn’t be helping me out (i’d never ask/accept anyway!).

I’m not interested in their money but a babysitter once or twice a year would be nice (my brother has them every other weekend to babysit for him)

Seems like this is quite a common problem.

It's certainly common but the question is why?

I can't imagine putting one of my children consistently in front of the other, esp when they are adults.

Nor can imagine putting one lot of GC over another. Esp when they couldn't get enough of him before the other GC came along. Then he got shoved aside. Meh you don't matter any more Golden Child has laid Golden Eggs.

With my in-laws, they are not horrible people and I am under the impression that they are rather fond of us. However, I just think that we don't appeal to them as much as the other branch of the family. They moved house to live near DPs brother and are much more involved in their lives as they inevitably see more of them.

With my in laws their daughter was favoured over my dh. I've struggled for years with it but accept it now and raise it stems from 2 things. 1 being that they think dh is ok and manages fine which to a certain extent, he does, he has a good job, works hard etc but just because he "looks fine" to them didnt mean he was. But he would never accept their money because deep down he knew they were trying to make themselves feel better about splitting up and not being the parents they should have been by throwing money at the kids.

It took me pointing out how they behaved and us having our own children before he consciously realised what was going on. Sadly it has had a negative effect on his me talk health that is only coming out now in his 40s. His parents will never realise how bad they've been which I have learnt to accept now ..