Dyspraxia chat thread

[Bakedpotatoandgin]

Hi
I've recently been diagnosed with dyspraxia, I thought it could be useful and supportive for fellow dyspraxics to chat about it.
Coping strategies, experiences of being diagnosed as an adult, general chit chat....
There must be more of us out there!

Hi @bakedpotatoandgin.
May I ask what led to you being diagnosed as an adult? I very likely live with dyspraxia but have been told it would be almost impossible for me to be diagnosed formally because I’m an adult! It’s very frustrating.

I'm studying at university at the moment, so I was diagnosed through that. I have heard that it's difficult to get a diagnosis if you're out of education
Have you looked at dyspraxia groups on fb? Some of them have really knowledgeable people and advice which might help

Did anyone say why it'd be hard for you to be diagnosed formally?

I've been diagnosed with SpLD in my teens, and twice had the diagnosis updated (I needed up-to-date statements to get DSA while studying). My ed psych reports tend to use slightly vague terms like 'a dyspraxic-type SpLD' or 'SpLD of a dyslexic/dyspraxic type,' but I think that is me rather than because they won't diagnose in an adult.

You can certainly get an ed psych report as an adult and it's quite helpful if you need it for work stuff (esp. if you can get someone else to pay for it).

How do you get diagnosed as an adult with dyspraxia? I've just been diagnosed at 54 with autism, I have always been physically very clumsy, I can't run, can trip over a hair on a pavement, regularly drop & fumble things when carrying them, have never been any good at throwing & catching, my balance is terrible, I'm very disorganised & untidy, regularly lose things, I'm awful at planning & timekeeping, my handwriting is like a 6 year old's. Is this just part of my autism or could it be dyspraxia?

That sounds like dyspraxia... But it could be part of autism too I don't know anything about autism

Dyspraxia is seperate to autism, but a common co-morbid with it. DS and his cousin both have ASD and dyspraxia.

DS's diagnosis does make me wonder about me. I was so appalling at PE that it took the PE teachers years to realise that I genuinely was that shit. Throwing a ball to me initiates some sort of flapping/ ducking manouver. The only safe place to be if I'm throwing is my target. I learned to swim at 16 after failing to learn during 4 or 5 years of school lessons; I needed someone in the water with me to show me, not flapping around at the side. I learned to ride a bike at 19.

My approach to organising my books for secondary school was to lug everything every day. In adulthood I have a bag for everything to minimise swapping everything around. My sense of organisation is very much in the moment. Getting ahead of myself wastes more time as I then forget what I did/ didn't do and tend to get in a bigger mess. I'm normally just-in-time, and I need a sense of urgency and external consequences. I cannot fake it for myself.

Learning to organise myself was one of the hardest things for me in teacher training. I do not get on well with lists, I don't have that linear, logical starting point. I need to sort myself with timetables and mindmaps. A list is a secondary organisation tool to prioritise after I've done the hard bit of working out what the hell I need to do. I comment that I don't forget, I just don't remember at the right time. My long term memory is fantastic, my short term working memory for mundane crap keeps me fit while I run up and down stairs trying to remember what my point of existance is at any given time My mental arithmetic is pretty limited compared to pen and paper, and I struggle to spell in my head and have to see the word. I'm not really messy... just keep stuff open plan in sight and in mind

I do have a diagnosed auditory processing issue so suspect that there is more to it. I can be mildly sensory about things, nowhere near the league of DS and his permanent ban on trousers though!

I've found out in adulthood that nearly all my cousins have dyslexia/ dyspraxia, so there is a strong genetic link in my family.

Following as my (adult - but still in education) dd is trying to seek a diagnosis at the moment, and our GP doesn't seem to know who to refer her to.

Following with interest. I am 38, not diagnosed , but after having a SEND child and working in education for 15 years I know I have dyspraxia.

I have attempted 4 driving tests in an automatic car and failed each time, I’ve decided to stop as I struggle with perception etc ... and my concentration worries me too.

I have issues with fine and gross motor skills.

I haven't tried learning to drive as I'm too scared - maybe I should try to get an automatic licence but I don't know

Shiny I used to get told off all the time in sixth form for not having the right books until I worked out I should just carry everything everywhere every day

DS was diagnosed when he was 12, about 18 months ago so we are still at the trial and error stage of what works for him. We'd had a pretty rubbish experience a few years earlier with CAMHS so we used a private ed psych who did all the testing. Looking at his website, it looks as though he works with adults as well as children so going private - if you can afford it - may be one way to get an adult assessment. Happy to recommend someone in the NE.

DS's official diagnosis is dyspraxia and sensory processing disorder but the ed psych described him as 'an enigma', basically he probably has a little bit of a number of things! In DS's case, he can cope with the issues with his motor skills. His handwriting is illegible but he types at school and sports wise he focuses on things like running and swimming instead of team games. Fortunately people at school don't seem to notice the food all round his mouth (he has wet wipes but doesn't remember to use them).

He has the most difficulty with his memory (on the 18th centile), staying focused and being organised. Finally being diagnosed helped us all understand why he acts the way he does. Prior to that, we couldn't understand how he'd go upstairs to get ready for school (same routine as every other day) and I'd follow him up 5 minutes later to find him lying naked except for his socks having totally forgotten what he went upstairs for!

@Nat6999 I don't know enough about autism to say either way but my DS really struggles with planning, timekeeping and handwriting and in his case, that is due to his dyspraxia.

BackforGood is your daughter at a university? If so, most are able to offer diagnosis and, if necessary, ongoing support afterwards. If your daughter looks at her university website, there will probably be a link to student support services, and they should be able to help her on the right path. Alternatively, her tutor may be able to put her in touch with student services.

If I remember rightly, backforgood's daughter is still at sixth form college?
It's a shame there's nothing through school as uni have been nothing but helpful so far

Has anyone else struggled with the idea of having a disability? (I don't want to offend anyone with a disability of course, please tell me if I say something wrong!) Having been a bit "odd" and "slow" at certain things all my life, I'm both very relieved to have a diagnosis and scared of being viewed as "different" by friends, tutors, colleagues etc

My DD (10) has a diagnosis of dyslexia and dyspraxia. Her reading is fantastic - writing, organisation, auditory processing and concentration (bar when she's reading or playing a computer game ) are poor.

What do you find helps most for organising?

She starts secondary in September and I will need to give her a lot of support.

Dinos - assuming carrying all her books around full time isn't the ideal solution I don't know. I'm experimenting with claneder alerts for everything, except I forget to put things in, and it only works if she is allowed to get her phone out in class. I wasn't diagnosed at that point, but I used a paper diary a lot to write things in on the day they were due, and spent my evenings texting friends to ask what was going on

My DGD has been diagnosed at 7 with dyspraxia, and at 10 with autism.Thankfully her mother ( my DD) picked up on the dyspraxia pretty early and got private therapy for her, so she is coping pretty well. She gets some help from a TA at school and she is keeping up with her grade. Her autism also became more obvious as time went on, and she was diagnosed a few months ago.

I do worry for her, particularly as she approaches puberty. I've been educating myself about the two conditions and it seems that puberty / secondary school are two areas where kids really struggle. My DD says "just keep loving her as she is, Mum", but I wish I could do more to help her.

I'm quite sure that she has inherited the dyspraxia from me - I'm in my 60's and have always been clumsy and uncoordinated. Nobody took any notice when I was a child - I doubt that anyone knew about it them - and now, well it doesn't really matter. I just wish I could help my dear granddaughter .

Thanks for the thread. I wonder if there are any adults living with dyspraxia who could help me with this question. My adult cousin has dyslexia and dyspraxia, diagnosed as a child but back when little was known about dyspraxia, so he got a bit of physical help for walking and extra time in exams for the dyslexia. He's never managed to find and hold down a proper job as an adult. It's a desperately sad situation because he's kind and conscientious but incredibly introverted. He has childlike handwriting and writes slowly, and particularly struggles when given multiple tasks I.e. if written as a list he will follow perfectly but if said to him, he muddles them up, and people don't tend to have the patience to wait for him to write them down. Plus as an introvert with a history of "failing" at jobs, he doesn't have the confidence to ask for people to repeat things. He's also had people take advantage of him in the past because he wants to please e.g. doing their work for them ahead of his own and then getting in trouble for not having done his work.

The thing is he's not stupid and has reasonable intelligence. It's just the brain processing aspect which slows him down. I wonder if anyone has any advice on types of work which would suit, or sympathetic organisations? He would consider voluntary work to build his confidence, but it would need to be something which could lead to long term paid employment.

I hope this is ok to post here. Sorry if it's long winded.

@Bakedpotatoandgin - YY, I do. I tick the 'disability' box on job application forms and then the one for 'specific learning disability' but it does feel odd. I don't feel 'disabled' by my dyspraxia very much (though I did just type and delete this entire reply out of clumsiness! ). I don't know what the right answer is, though. I think it's very important for adults with SpLDs to talk about them, because otherwise it becomes something people think isn't a real adult issue, or is something children grow out of.

Following with interest! I'm 35, never been formally diagnosed and was always just told that I was a "clumsy" and "difficult" child.

Fast forward all these years later and I had to give up learning to drive due to my lack of spacial awareness, something I struggle with daily. I have knocked over gallons and gallons of coffee in my time, am very uncoordinated and maths makes me cry.

How does one even go around being diagnosed at this age?

Sarah- glad to know it's not just me. I agree it's important to talk about it but that fear of discrimination in that I'm afraid of being less likely to be hired if I admit my disability is still there

I think I'm lucky in that I suspect hiring discrimination is quite rare in my field (though I have experienced very direct discrimination during study and work, eg. one place saying quite openly that it was impossible for them to make any accommodations at all as 'it would be unfair on other people if we gave you special support').

But I do get why you'd worry.

For me it's also about knowing that most people's perceptions of 'disability' are not people like me who are basically fine, with a following wind and a bit of luck. It's awkward, because I feel like a fraud.

DS1 has dyspraxia - the general clumsiness (well, also that it just takes so much concentration to do something like pouring a drink, as much as tripping over at the drop of a hat), terrible handwriting, poor organisation, losing 2 or 3 coats a year etc.

We work to find solutions - eg. He never remembers to zip up a bag, so he has shopping bag style lunchbox and a rucksack which holds everything in, even if not zipped up (used to use a shopper for school too, but new school required a rucksack).

Then it's elasticated trousers, elastic laces, socks a size too big so he can get them on - just lots of little accommodations for things that there's just no point fighting against.

The organisation is the toughy. We have routines which help, we have the stop and think through the list of what you're supposed to have for doing X, but it's no-where near perfect - in general, having things organised for him until he gets the pattern and starts automatically doing it for himself has had the most success - but it's hard work, and he can take years to get into a habit (but once it's there, it's stuck - he wouldn't dream of not washing his hands after the toilet, or not trimming his nails, or not taking his plate to the kitchen, or not eating off a plate - unlike his little brother!)

Sarah yes I feel like if I say I'm disabled people will be shocked to find a person who looks pretty much "normal", especially as I work hard to conceal the problems that I do have