Dyspraxia chat thread

[Bakedpotatoandgin]

Hi
I've recently been diagnosed with dyspraxia, I thought it could be useful and supportive for fellow dyspraxics to chat about it.
Coping strategies, experiences of being diagnosed as an adult, general chit chat....
There must be more of us out there!

Sorry - I realised this was really for adults, having DS1 diagnosed makes it very clear DP is also dyspraxic (they are peas in a pod in so many ways).

We do the same for him! He travels a lot for work, so he has a fixed kind of packing list, even packing for the gym, he comes in and goes through the list he has to make sure he has everything (water bottle, sweat towel, clean pants etc.). He never undoes his shoelaces, rarely unbuttons his jeans - he just drags them on, and we just buy a variety of whatever he needs until he finds the one true waterbottle/gym bag/whatever that works for him (and then he buys 5 of that one thing so he doesn't have to do it again for a while).

Driving - he generally takes a taxi (public transport is a mystery to him - I've had to rescue him from various places when he's managed to get on the wrong train/tube/tram - the maps baffle him and he goes in the wrong direction) or I drive - although he did pass his test eventually - he just finds it tiring.

Day to day, it's just just DS1 - routines where we can (he's an adult, so not as trainable!).

For work, he's lucked out a bit. Finding writing and organisation hard has made him extra diligent - which it turns out is very useful when it comes to doing budgets - plus his memory is excellent, which means he can pull random knowledge out in a meeting which makes him a useful employee. On the downside, he really needs someone else to arrange his travel, and he never hand-writes (and relies on google spell correct). He does get taken advantage of because his diligent-ness means that people just hand their work over to him and he works all hours to get it done.

I do recommend IT as a career - DP started out in Testing (diligence again - learned by having terrible organisation). And being in IT myself, the thing is, lots of us have some slight... oddities... so being dyspraxic really doesn't stand out.

@Nat6999 that sounds like my child exactly ... she’s easily distracted to the point she needs 15 minutes in morning to brush her teeth and get dressed. Even when external distractions are removed, she’ll get distracted with thoughts and stop getting ready. She has a combo of autism, dyspraxia and ADHD. Her adhd manifests itself as disorganised, etc. and she has no hyperactivity at all. I was told often people who have one have some combo of these, but it’s just a matter of degree and “elimination”. In our child, dyspraxia and speech delay were diagnosed first but she masks very well, so the adhd and autism weren’t diagnosed until primary school. I had it explained to me like this when it came to her writing ... you want to write a word. You need to remember the letters of the word then the order of how to write them. So your brain tells your hand to start and write a p. The muscles are told to make a p you do this movement and then that movement. You look down, confident that you wrote a p and continue writing and are shocked someone points out your “p” is actually a “b”What becomes automatic movement for “p” for some in 5-10 tries, might take you 20 or 500 tries until it becomes an automated task for your hand. But then when you’ve got attention deficit in the mix, you forget what you wanted to do... so when you see the p you’re thinking what was I trying to write and you struggle holding on to your sentence. My child often needs to start a sentence over and over to help her hold on to the thought she’s trying to express. She says it’s not like drawing a blank but rather like there’s a big washing machine of thoughts and it gets accidentally turned on and starts spinning while she’s trying to pluck out a particular thought.

Treestumps I am going to start writing packing lists, that sounds like a brilliant idea. I'm awful with computers (think Jen from the IT crowd!) so IT wouldn't be my thing, but I do have a theory that the bit of my brain which ruins my organisation by coming up with random associations and distractions is the same bit that can think of lots of different meanings and connotations of a word, which is very useful for me as I'm aiming to go into translation

@DinosApple DS wasn't diagnosed until the end of year 7 so we muddled along for a bit although our school were excellent and put loads of support measures in place anyway. All school are different but the things that have helped us are:

• Meeting with the SENCO very early on to find out what support they offer then regular meetings thereafter.
• DS has a mentor who totally gets him and he feels very comfortable confiding in her. She's also my first point of contact if anything is concerning me.
• He has a card / pass that he can show to a teacher and they let him leave the room, no questions asked (or re-enter the building at break). He's only used it once or twice but it's very helpful if he is feeling overwhelmed.
• Access to a tablet for all written subjects
• Our school start GCSEs in yr 9 so we started discussions around exam concessions in yr 8.

At home:

• I have a copy of DS's timetable so I know when he needs to take PE kit etc.
• The school use the 'show my homework' app that records all homework and when it's due. We look at that together daily.
• I still have to talk him through what to pack in his bag each day and always pack the night before.
• We have a morning routine that we never deviate from eg get dressed as soon as he gets up, then breakfast, then washed / teeth brushed but I still have to give him frequent reminders.
• Shoes, coat, blazer, bag etc must always be put in the right place the night before so we can find it the next morning.
• Limited electronics Monday - Thursday.

There are probably loads more things that we do....

but I do have a theory that the bit of my brain which ruins my organisation by coming up with random associations and distractions is the same bit that can think of lots of different meanings and connotations of a word, which is very useful for me as I'm aiming to go into translation

Baked - yes, both DP and DS1 think sideways compared to me - and it's very useful when we're trying to come up with a solution - between us we cover a lot of ground!

We have checklists for everything. That way the hard work only comes making that checklist in the first place.

Thanks Baked yes we'll try to avoid packing all books each day . The secondary we hope she'll get into only has three lessons a day - easier (and lighter) from a bag packing view, but I do worry if she will struggle with concentration. It's a large school and they have an SEN department rather than just a SENCO.

It's interesting because my brother has ADHD (diagnosed at 40 never had a 'proper' job) and DDs organising skills are like his. And I am certain DH has dyslexia.

Career wise, I'm encouraging DD to explore her interests. I can't see her doing an office job, but I'm trying to get her touch typing.

@TattiePants that's really helpful thank you. Yes our choice of school was based on the SEN provision, so I will be in contact once her place is confirmed.

I find DD needs constant reminding for every stage of leaving the house. Getting dressed is a daily trauma for her. This in turn distracts me, throw in another (younger) child and it can be chaotic. Work in progress! Homework I sit down with her as frustration and distraction takes over so quickly.

When DD went away with school for 5 days, she has a ready to go wash bag (always packed) and I went through her clothes with her -with the weather forecast- and bundled clothes up for each day, labelled. It would be overwhelming for her otherwise.

We are sorting her room out this week, decluttering, redecorating and hitting IKEA for some notice boards and storage solutions. Anything to make life easier.

Does anyone use any Apps for organising?

I've got dyspraxia too and my ds2. When he started secondary I made a (big) weekly timetable each year, with each subject had its own colour. That way, each day was colour coded as to what subject he had and what he needed. I stuck it on the wall next to his books and schoolbag.

As pp have said, elastic shoelaces or hickeys or velcro shoes.

DS (11) was diagnosed with dyspraxia (as well as ASD/adhd and some others) a few years ago. He had an OT assessment recently to update his EHCP and it was really interesting to watch - there were many things we saw as ‘normal’ but were actually signs of difficulties. After watching the assessment DH ( who has ASD) was able to conclude that he was most probably dyspraxic too!

DinosApple DS started secondary school in September. If something’s not working well just keep trying to work with the school to resolve it. DS settled in much better than expected but I’m sure the SENCO has had enough of me already!

Hi,

I know this is a dyspraxia thread, but I thought I'd point out we have a video outlining strategies on how to deal with dyspraxia's more well known cousin, dyslexia, which we made with the British Dyslexia Association. Much of the advice (particularly around education, EHCP and emotional well being) is highly relevant to dyspraxia.

(I personally also have both... So sending positive vibes to you all from MNHQ!)

I have dyspraxia. When i was a child it was called clumsy child syndrome! I have always been clumsy but deal with it better as long as it isn't raining or icy! If anyone asks I tell them that their brain learns movements by rote but mine doesn't so I am always getting the message lift foot up, move foot forward, put foot down. It's constant.

I am a primary school teacher and I declare my disability in application forms. I have a set of drawers by my classroom door. When I am given paper I put it in there to deal with later. At the end of each week I move stuff down if not dealt with. When it gets to the bottom drawer it is thrown if not needed to be dealt with.

I love all these organisational tips and tricks. I'll try to think of some of my own to add

I thought of one for school stuff - I had a small day folder with dividers for each subject and sub-subject (is that a word?) from which I transferred topics when I'd finished them into big folders at home. This had the advantages that I always had the stuff for each subject with me, and that if I lost the folder I only lost that week's notes rather than a whole year's work. This was at A level though so I don't know how it would work with more subjects

Does anyone else struggle with sitting still? I feel like I'm constantly rocking from side to side, or spinning my chair, or wanting to get up and move around. The rocking is a sensory thing I think, it's comforting especially when I'm stressed (I also like to squeeze myself when I'm anxious), but it must be so annoying for the people around me

I'm not diagnosed as dyspraxic (there's no NHS diagnostic pathway for adults in our area and it's not something I can justify spending the family budget on an assessment for when I've just learnt over the years that furniture corners and door handles are not my friends and never wear plain tops as I will always miss my mouth with my cup of coffee before 9am) - but my daughter is and I glaringly have the same issues. Went for a screening when I went back to university recently - but they would only assess the areas directly affecting academic study... my writing speed is shit and my writing style changes about 4 times in a paragraph, but they picked up dyslexia which had gone undiagnosed for 40 years - and said dyspraxia was very likely but not officially confirmed too. Therefore I'm now wearing the label proudly in solidarity with DD2.

With school/uni stuff - I went paperless this year and write all my notes either typed or with an apple pencil on my iPad - all my word documents and everything is on there - therefore, apart from dropping the bugger and smashing the screen (£600 repair bill... I'm living with the crack), I've always got everything with me. I photograph paperwork and file it electronically as well, and then put everything I need to do into a todoist app and my google calendar. I'm fairly good on the organisation as I've learnt over time to be over-organised leaving room for it all to slip and still be OK.

It's spatial awareness and writing that buggers me - I'm studying speech and language therapy, which requires being able to write all the funny phonetic transcription squiggly bits - lots of which are "normal" characters flipped round or reversed... a nightmare if you struggle to remember how to write the "normal" version!

My DS is dyslexic and dyspraxic, he has short term memory issues, but once stuff gets moved to his long term memory he can recall pretty much anything.
He is constantly fidgeting, tapping, moving about. He always has a fidget toy in his pocket as fidgeting with his hands seems to keep his bum still!
He was diagnosed at the end off year 6 at school, but was always clumsy and disorganised. We do lists for him and have set routines which help him remember what he should be doing when. He had accommodations at school such as using a laptop and extra time in exams.
We accommodate by having things like elastic shoelaces, as few buttons as possible, cutlery with a good solid handle, time to process things and even now at nearly 16, warnings well ahead of time that we are going somewhere/doing something to give him time to get his head in the right place and get himself organised.

Luckily his school and friends are brilliant and just accept all his little quirks and help out where they feel it's necessary!

@Equimum - my dd is in Yr13 at school (old in the year)

She gets weekly detentions and 'red stamps' for not having the right stuff with her - despite all the staff saying what a lovely person she is and how hardworking and how helpful and pleasant.

Interestingly, she does constantly fidget / wriggle / tap - I thought that was the ADHD.

Following with interest as DS (13) has dyspraxia which was diagnosed very quickly after he started school. I can't imagine how he's going to cope with adult life and sometimes wonder if he'll manage to live independently or find work so I'm inspired that so many of you are finding ways to manage

I have all the dys,s to one degree or another. What is your main issue is it organisation/ gross motor skills/fine motor? I took a while to pasds my driving test. (stated learnign at 17 passed 8 tests latter at 24.) I was iin my mid tens before learning to tie a shoe lace. I was passed for belaying at a acimbing centre last year but need a lot more practice. You survive by identifying one prob at a time and finding a coping mechanism for that. I currently have a bruise on my arm where I court it on the door, quite a common injury for me. Spatial awareness not my strong point.

When I was a supply teacher, you could always tell if I'd been in new classrooms by the line of bruises across my hips!

I did the folder thing at a-Level too with a master folder for each subject that everything got moved into at the end of each topic.

DS (9) will be using a laptop by that kind of stage anyway. He's learning to type using Nessy Fingers, but of course that's co-ordination too so it's taking time to build up to a functional typing speed.

He recently had an OT assessment and she found that although he is clearly right handed, he gets confused about the roles that each side has for fine activities such as sewing and cutting so he gets muddled, so he needs to work on defining those roles for each hand. Unfortunately he went into stubborn mode and was reluctant to take on advice (probably part of his perfectionist ASD traits, and I do wonder about a mild element of oppositional defience as there are some topics such as handling cutlery where he so stubbornly refuses to change technique and just melts down. SPD doesn't help with that either!)

We've started using disabled changing at swimming. It feels quite odd, particularly having grown up with a relative with clear developmental needs that severely affected his independence and mobility, and having a good friend who's a wheel chair user, so I'm well aware of the consequences of misusing facilities. However at 9, DS is too old to be supervised in communal female facilities, there are only 3 family size cubicles (I have to supervise younger sibling) so we often found ourselves shivering around waiting. Also DS struggles to shower independently, particularly when fumbling with push-button showers that turn off before he can co-ordinate turning and manipulating his hair, then he has to turn and fumble to find the push button again. I've done my turn of literally showering with him while fully dressed, and it's begining to look daft doing it for him when children several years younger manage.

It also makes his sensory issues easier, so he's less distracted as there's less background noise. I'm feeling the benefits too. I've always struggled with overload at swimming, and individual cubicles really trigger claustrophobia when combined with the humidity and general noise. I'm feeling much less frazzled from managing him by the time we're done now!

He's done well with school swimming changing, but there's been others changing too (he's in the slower half, but not one of the ones who mucks about), but he slows up as he goes through the day.

Shiny that sounds like a very good use of the facilities to me 🙂
Meanwhile I can add burning a line on my hand from a pan to my list of clumsy injuries this week, yay

I'm thinking my DD (4) might have dyspraxia. She really does not Iike a lot of physical activity, gets distressed on a trampoline for example especially if someone else is on it and she gets wobbles, refuses to try and do cartwheels or handstands, runs like Phoebe from friends, we sent her to gymnastics to try and give her more confidence but she just gets scared and refuses to do anything there. She also a very messy eater, very distractable (but she,s 4 so may be normal) and clumsy at home. But her fine motor skills are excellent (why can't she use a knife and fork then!?) and she's been riding a pedal bike since 3.

Runs like phoebe from friends... Where have I heard that one before?
I think they don't like to diagnose before 5 because children are so variable, but it's great that you're picking up on what she needs more help with, my parents did this even though I was never diagnosed until recently and it really helped