The freedom programme? Is it worth doing?

[clpsmum]

Seen a few people mention the freedom programme and I'm wondering if it's worthwhile me doing it?

I split from my husband two and a half years ago but the gaslighting, emotional abuse etc still continues. Would this course benefit me or is it more for physical violence and people still living with abusive partners? Thanks

I've looked at the freedom programme, I have read some of the books. It seems to me that it helps you look for the signs so you don't get in the same situation again. It does not say what you do and how you cope with an abusive person that still won't let go/stop when you've left the relationship. This is what I need advice on.

Me too. Thanks for advice. Not sure what we should do then

@Livingthedream12345 are you looking for emotional or practical steps to help you?

The Freedom Programme is to help you avoid repeating the cycle in future relationships.

Have you contacted Women's Aid or your local domestic abuse service for support?

If you do the course in person you all receive a lot of support and advice in the general chat around the topics. I always advise people to do the course in person - otherwise it's just information, which is good in its way (very good!) but the course provides fully rounded support and info and questions can be addressed and discussed.

Definitely do it! I wish everyone would do it. It's an amazing course, life-changing ime.

It addresses all types of abuse, especially psychological /emotional /sexual/financial etc ie not just physical. (most abusers have absorbed the idea that physical violence isn't on, so they resort to the others...). So you'd be right at home there op.

Ime it has helped me to manage the ongoing abuse after I left him.

Hi
Im currently part way through the freedom programme after leaving an abusive marriage. It has been a massive help to me already, the support & hearing the experiences of other women is invaluable. I wish they ran this in schools to help stop abusive relationships happening. I would highly recomend it.
Best wishes

Can men do the freedom programme?

I don't know whether men can do it - with women I mean - but check with the Freedom Programme Helpline 01942 262 270

@Greenkit men can access the programme online. Attempts have been made in some areas to run it in group settings but there was little to no uptake.

There are various dedicated domestic abuse support services for men as well as them being able to access the usual dv support services.

I would also agree with other posters who say it's worth doing the course in a group. You get far more out of it that way.

Absolutely. And do the recovery toolkit as well. You are not alone x

Thank you everybody I'll have a look see if it's run locally to me so I can go i person x

@MushroomTree I need practical and emotional support. I fled over 3 years ago, but have just had to get another non-molestation order. He's just not stopping.

@Livingthedream12345 have you contacted your local domestic abuse support service?

You're taking the right steps in getting a non-mol. Do you have children together?

Yes, one child. I've got a bit of time this week. Am going to make a few calls.
Got another court trip this week. Happy days.

@Livingthedream12345 do the terms of the non-mol prevent him from contacting you and your child or just you?

In all honesty I'd be moving out of the area, changing your number, deleting social media and putting as much distance between you as you can.

Are there any court ordered contact arrangements in place for your child?

Yes. We have shared custody. If there wasn't I'd be a very, very long way away by now.

Every woman should do it! And yes, it will certainly help you deal with post-separation abuse. Not to tell you in detail how to respond to every stupid thing he does - although the course leaders and probably other participants may have excellent suggestions - but more to help you understand and practise the principles of recognising and understanding controlling behaviour and how to counter it.

@Livingthedream12345 is your child old enough to manage contact arrangements themselves or are you needing to be involved?

What are the terms of the non-mol?

@MushroomTree

Thank you

It does help with past abuse in that it helps you to understand it a bit more and accept/understand your own reaction to it and that it was nothing you did.

DD is too young at the moment.
I need to see what happens in court.
It may change the path forward. Hope so.

Hi, I've done the freedom program twice. The first time was just after splitting from my DDs dad after 7 years. I was so emotionally broke the first time I didn't take it all in so I repeated again a few months later. I would recommend this course to anyone, whether going through domestic violence or just to understand controling behaviour. I also think this course should run in schools for both girls and boys.
I really think the freedom program saved me and helped me repair.

I wish you all the best @Livingthedream12345. Make sure you report any breaches of the non-mol. Don't give him the benefit of the doubt. Call the police the minute he breaks the terms.

@Bekibigbump02 there are programmes run in school. The organisation I work for runs them in Hampshire. It's not Freedom but we have various work shops and group sessions for children and young people covering DV, what to look for/avoid in relationships, the impact of DV etc.