Seeing dead relatives/pets when about to die.

[BritneyPeedOnALadybug]

There’s been so many stories of this. Do you believe it’s true or do you think it’s a dying person’s brain playing tricks on them and them “seeing” things that aren’t there? (Sorry, I hope this isn’t a morbid thread, I’m just genuinely curious).

My father was unconscious and a shell of himself when he died so I doubt he saw anything of comfort whatsoever

The family story is that my great grandmother did this - sat up in bed and greeted by name a whole bunch of people long dead, then she herself lay back and died. Delusion or real? I've no idea - I keep an open mind about it.

I think it’s probably something that the body does to comfort the dying person tbh.

My grandmother was in and out of consciousness and kept saying that grandad was coming to get her. It was very comforting to her and him.

When I was high as a kite in labour I thought loads of my other grandmother who’d passed when I was a young child and of my primary school - obviously the drugs but again it made me feel warm and comforted at a time when my body was under intense stress and pain.

Fucking great. So now whilst trying to deal with grief and not saying goodbye and not being able to go to the funeral I now feel bad that he had no comfort in his last hours as well as being alone.

You never hear of anyone seeing their hamster or gerbil though do you?

Most of this is to comfort the living, 85.

My father died at a very great age in hospital alone and unconscious.

In the months before he hallucinated his elder brother, long dead.

I believe it's a trick of the brain, and when I go, I hope I will hallucinate my beloved long dead dogs, catapulting towards me with shining eyes and wagging tails.

@85notout. Perhaps he was not alone ? Maybe someone did come to collect him. I've seen it happen as a student nurse.
I was asked by the ward sister to sit with an old man who had no family and was dying. After a few hours he woke up and pointed to the corner of the room and said 'hello alice' I asked if it was his wife but he said no , it was his mother in law. He died a few minutes later.

I now feel bad that he had no comfort in his last hours as well as being alone.

You don't know that though do you?

He died unconscious so yes I know.

When my gran was dying many years ago I saw all her dead sisters one after the other next to her bed (including ones I’d never met or heard about before) - I’m not a woo believer so it freaked me out but I could describe the look and ‘smell’ (not rotting corpse, perfume) of each of these women and knew instantly who they were. It made my gran’s passing much easier for me thinking maybe her loved ones were coming for her. My MIL a very science based psychologist thinks the human brain does things to make the transition from life to death easier. She also believes that the living do see dead relatives but not as ghosts coming back but as coping mechanisms. Either way it’s a lovely comforting thought to think either loved ones do come for you or your brain makes the transition easier for you by reassuring you.

My 90 year old mum was dying, drowsy alot of the time, occasionally waking up. The evening before she died she suddenly opened her eyes and started staring at something in the corner of the room. She nudged me and raised her hand to point to it but also repeatedly looked at me as if to say look who's here. She seriously seemed surprised but also fascinated at what she could see. After that she fell back asleep and passed away a few hours later. I like to think she could see my dad or something comforting

Just before my great grandmother died she said, 'Peter is here', and seemed very content. Peter was her son who died when he was only 6.

When my mum passed away my now DH was sat just outside the private room while I sat with her holding her hand. It was 1am and silent in the hospital. She died and I came out of the room to hug my DH, he said he'd heard her calling out for her mum. I'd not heard a thing.

I find this quite fascinating as people from many cultures say the same thing. I’ve had this conversation with a Brazilian, Sikh and Muslim friend when we went to pay our condolences to a friend who’d just lost a father. She told us that he’d seen his dead relatives and knew he was going to pass on.

My mum said there was a black cat that kept on visting her before she died. We did had a black cat when growing up.

@85notout
I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like your lovely dad’s passing was peaceful. No one knows what is happening in the unconscious brain- these stories suggest he might well have felt surrounded by loved ones.

Please be comforted.

In the couple of days before my mum died she kept saying names of people who were dead. I found it very reassuring that she believed she had someone waiting for her.

Same with my nan. She passed after my mum and she said her name along with another 2 children she had lost. I found comfort in knowing my mum was waiting her.

....in the weeks prior to my nans passing while cleaning her flat I kept finding dog hairs jack Russell dog hairs white ones for years she had dogs (jack Russells) but not in that home and not in the places I found them no one who visited did it was strange they showed up in a bowl of potpourri she hadnt even had until that year on new furniture it was like they had come to visit her in her final weeks we never had an explanation 🤷‍♀️ and as she had dementia she saw them and my grandad anyway so 🤷‍♀️

Nature doesn’t do anything it doesn’t need to though, so why would we need to see dead relatives? Why do near death experience people say they saw relatives but not old as they remember them but in their prime?.

Why do spirits who come to colect the dead stay in the corners all the time? Isn't there any spirit who just stands in the middle of the room, or in the centre of a wall?

My grandmother knew she would die soon months before she actually did (an accident so can’t be explained by illnesses caused pending doom anxiety) and I have heard of similar amongst my Hindu and Buddhist friends and family. One of my friends thinks the ozone layer (we are the only planet that has one) is actually formed of the ‘spirits’ of the dead. Whatever gets you through

@85notout

There are many many levels of consciousness. From fully alert to comatose.

Whatever conscious state your father was in, he would still be guided by loved ones.

I don't think that loved ones only come for those who are conscious and can acknowledge them. They will come for all, it's just that we can't learn of it through the person who is passing.

Your father was not alone, I'm sure of that.

I worked in a nursing home as a student and saw a lot of this. One lady in particular stands out because she was in a lot of pain in her last few weeks. In the 24 hours before she died she was talking to her mum.

The calling for mum or mother reminds me of James Aspinall, he was one of the Hillsborough victims, the police officer who had tried to resuscitate him said he looked through her and said,"mum" and then passed away. His mum was very much alive.

When my mum was dying she said 'mum' a couple of times, told me brother not to be 'silly', told my aunt to "Shut up" then hit me a few times synchronised with telling my aunt to "shut up, shut up, shut up".

She died a couple of days later.

Before my dad died he became very lucid for the last few days, talking to his mum about a trip they were taking (shes been dead since before I was born). My mum had always believed that someone you love comes to 'collect' you and I like that this bought her comfort at a difficult time.

However it was excruciatingly difficult when I held her as she died, fighting for every breath and crying that "no ones coming".