Catholic Church- Dont know what to think

[Crazydaisy11]

I'm a lapsed catholic, go to mass at christmas, funerals etc but not regularly.
My dh is really religious, goes to mass every week, confessions and generally just believes.
I'm not sure about it all, he doesn't preach at me but sometimes will say he is going to confessions and when I ask why he explains about penance and if you die before you confess you go straight to hell.
I haven't been for about 25 years and now I'm scared! I dont know if it's true or if I believe, but I'm scared that if I dont I'll burn in hell.
Part of me thinks that's just a story to control people by the church to get money but what if I'm wrong??
I'm really worried and cant sleep. Any thoughts or should I just ignore and carry on. My general feeling is if you have led a relatively good life, not intentionally hurt people you'll be ok.

And thats in Chapter One “What We Believe”, “We” being the Catholic Church.

religion was invented partly as an explanation for things that had no science at a time, and partly to prevent anarchy. In a time where food was short there was every incentive to steal or kill, so religion was there as a control to make people stop doing that. Or at least try to.

It is 2020. No religion has ever had any proof, which is why it relies on belief. If it upsets you, ignore it. Your husband clearly finds comfort in it, that's fine for him. At least it sounds like he is tolerant of other's beliefs or not, many religious people are not.

I'm a practicing Catholic. I go to confession once a year. I don't feel the need for it, and as I was brought up Anglican, it wasn't something we did. Trying to be as good a person as you can be is more important. I think most priests would agree.

mencken, I’d say coming back from the dead after crucifixion is pretty fucking convincing proof, no?
What exactly would God have to do to convince you?!

To answer the OP's question (about believing/confession/hell etc.), is it likely that God, as an all-compassionate entity, would operate on human standards of the induction of fear to enforce compliance?

I think not, and so I am at relative peace, as a person of fairly weak faith (many agnostic phases).

I have catechism books in Italian obviously and they are different.
I have also asked one of my student priests and the church here in Italy categorically does not teach about the existence of hell or purgatory and hasn't since Vatican 2.

"Hell" is where your own sins will take you if you don't repent. What that "hell" is (his inverted commas) is open to any interpretation the individual wants to apply to it. I sent him the thread and he chuckled and said he supposed he should be happy that non-Italian Catholics are so very traditional but really it's time to accept that almost everything ever said in the church and by the church is, and always has been a metaphor for human life, right here, right now.

My point about the wine was simply that I am always being told that the congregation drinks the wine. The people who insist on this seem to be the same sort of people who insist that they know everything about something despite others saying "actually, it's different here".

You are still completely failing to understand.

I am not talking about Catechism “books”.

I’m talking about THE OFFICIAL CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH of which there is only ONE and which has been translated into many different languages but with the same exact points. It’s official church doctrine. Canon Law. I was born A LONG time after Vatican 2 and I’m not a “traditional Catholic”. This is the most basic of doctrine that everything else in the church is founded on. If your student priest doesn’t believe in the Catechism of the Catholic Church then he should neither be a priest nor Catholic.

I give up with you, it’s like banging my head against a brick wall.

www.usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/what-we-believe/catechism/catechism-of-the-catholic-church/frequently-asked-questions-about-the-catechism-of-the-catholic-church.cfm

I am Irish. I was raised in a staunchly catholic home. Everything in my country is based on catholicism although thankfully things are changing. When my brother almost died but was brought back to life it was god who got the thanks, not the doctors. When you sneeze you are blessed, when you are hanging up the phone you are blessed.. I mean literally everything in bloody Ireland is about god and religion and it bothers me greatly that so many billions of people believe in something that CANNOT be true. Scientifically CANNOT be real but wars are caused, theres attacks on other people etc all due to religion. If there was no religion the world would be a better place. I am atheist. It drives my family mad but there is no way on earth I will raise my kids fearing a god that in all honesty cannot exist.

It's not real, there is no hell and stop worrying, it's all just a ploy by the church to control you. That's what I think. I can't stand people wishy-washying about in the middle though. Either practice your religion or renounce it, make up your mind! If you've lived without it perfectly happily all these years, why would you think you were missing anything? what difference does one remark about going to hell make, surely you had heard about that before and decided to take no notice?

I'm pretty sure if there is an actual god they'll be able to see straight through the people who just go through the motions in case they go to hell. They'll be more interested in how you've lived your life. If it's bothering you, and you are not ready to say 'It's all nonsense, I'm an atheist', find a bible and read what Jesus actually said, not what the Catholic church says.

Your husband’s beliefs are not in line with the church’s teachings so he should explore his faith further and learn what is.

Youre getting a lot of misinformation, hatred of Catholicism and unhelpful beliefs. Are you really going to base your belief system on what some randomers say on the internet?

You dont say if you believe in God. First worry about this then worry about Hell. Much later.

Do you talk to God? Try this first when you cant sleep. Ask God to help you with your unbelief. See where it takes you.

It would be worth joining your dh one day at church. You might surprise yourself.

I'm a practicing Catholic. I go to confession regularly. I question lots of aspects of dogma. I read the bible historically metaphorically. I am tolerant of other belief systems. There is only one truth and we find out when we die. I hope.

Its very unhelpful to get hung up on Catholicism . If thats not working for you create your own relationship with God. You might find that confession is a really helpful way to clear your head and restart that relationship.

Try just talking to the priest. Not "confessing" but working up to it first. Its hard working through an examination of conscience and thinking about all youve done. The feeling of relief and grace afterwards is amazing.

There's no such thing as hell. No point in getting worked up about something that doesn't exist.

What I do is between me and the Great Big Whatever It Is that is behind all religions, that is the divine that is in all things on this earth. I have no rules except for my conscience. For all my deeds, I must consider what would do the least harm to all beings, and include myself and all of this earth in that. Under that rule, nothing is forbidden as such, but a constant questioning and responsibility for my own actions. If I choose to ignore that rule, I will bear the consequences, in this world or the next. Actions have consequences and these ripple out to eventually come back to you. The message that the possibly historical man who was known as Jesus has been twisted and defiled by those who have built on his simple message to love people as yourself - which then leads to treating all in love and kindness. That man set up no rules about Purgatory or Confession. I have a friend who is a senior criminal justice social worker and she tells me that a huge percentage are involved in religion of one sort or the other.

Ignore the man-made rules and listen to your conscience and the still small voice of the divine talking to you. That is what is important, not the rules which so many follow yet do immense harm to others and this world.

oxfordnono I don't mean to nit pick but I was struck by the fact that you refer to going to church/mass as "going to chapel". I've never heard a Catholic use that term...(I mean no offence, it just jumped out at me)
I had a Catholic upbringing,op and went to confession and catechism weekly as a child. Much of it has stayed with me and through all the twists and turns of my life, my faith has remained with me in many respects. But even as a young impressionable child, I do not ever recall being as frightened as you sound. What your husband is saying makes it all sound rather threatening and menacing imo. Faith should not frighten people surely?

Lifelong Catholic here @bluesheep8 and living in both Scotland and Ireland we have always said “Chapel”. In our village in Scotland you’d refer to people going to “the Chapel” or going to “The Kirk” meaning person A was Catholic and person B was Protestant.

Ie

“Does she go tae the Chapel?”

“Nut. Her and her man go tae the Kirk”.

The village I grew up was extremely religiously strict whether you attended the Catholic Church and school or the Church of Scotland. I definitely recognise these views and the fears mentioned but my faith has also brought great comfort and I wouldn’t be without it. People in my current town in Ireland also talk about going into the Chapel. It is definitely a thing that Catholic’s say regionally.

@Crazydaisy11 I'm catholic, but not attending mass regularly here too, haven't confessed for about 9 years - the thing is not to die in 'serious sin' without confessing. I doubt an accretion of minor sins is gong to be serious problem but as others have said, if you get more concerned go and talk to a priest, the sacrament of reconciliation doesn't take long.

I feel so sorry for religious people who believe this utter nonsense.

There is no hell, there is no heaven. Just live your life and be happy

@Myume why do you feel sorry for religious people? Did you mean to be rude? You might be annoyed if religious people pitied you. You might feel it somehow disparaged your views.

I feel so sorry for religious people who believe this utter nonsense.

I do too for the fact it causes them so much upset. Like a child believing there is a bogeyman under their bed and being frightened.

I feel sorry for them for the same reason as juansheet

All this angst and misery over an imaginary friend.

I dont think the OP is particularly religious (assuming that post is real) so I wouldn't take that as how the average believer feels.

You dont represent yourselves well with ignorant comments. Fortunately the lovely atheists I know IRL are much kinder and less judgemental. I think most people just try to rub along well without getting hung up on what others believe. I do pray for those without faith but I try not to pity them because its not my place to judge.

fakefraudsquad thank you for clarifying. My family are Irish and I have family in Scotland too but I've honestly never heard the word chapel used by any of them. Although I've heard it used in other religions so that was what confused me. You learn something new every day! Thanks again

Why does OP need help with her unbelief? Maybe stop asking you DH about confession if it's getting you worked up.

Please do not worry about this hell nonsense. It makes me so angry that people are made to fear not believing incase they get sent to a fiery pit. Its so ridiculous!