Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Catholic Church- Dont know what to think

109 replies

Crazydaisy11 · 13/02/2020 14:23

I'm a lapsed catholic, go to mass at christmas, funerals etc but not regularly.
My dh is really religious, goes to mass every week, confessions and generally just believes.
I'm not sure about it all, he doesn't preach at me but sometimes will say he is going to confessions and when I ask why he explains about penance and if you die before you confess you go straight to hell.
I haven't been for about 25 years and now I'm scared! I dont know if it's true or if I believe, but I'm scared that if I dont I'll burn in hell.
Part of me thinks that's just a story to control people by the church to get money but what if I'm wrong??
I'm really worried and cant sleep. Any thoughts or should I just ignore and carry on. My general feeling is if you have led a relatively good life, not intentionally hurt people you'll be ok.

OP posts:
Original poster
Crazydaisy11 · 13/02/2020 16:26

What exactly is purgatory?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 13/02/2020 16:29

I cant help but think of all those poor children and women abused over the years, if there was a God how could he let that happen in his name?

Ah the problem of evil. It's been a debate in religious philosophy for millennia.

I'm a fan of the very simple idea that if evil exists, god can not be omniscient, omnipresent, all powerful and good. S/he either knows and doesn't care, knows and can't do anything or doesn't know.

Religious philosophers go into a whole load of twaddle about free will and so on but what it boils down to is for me child sex abuse shouldn't exist with a god in the form that is floated by Abrahamic religions.

KingaRoo · 13/02/2020 16:41

If God were to wipe out all evil on the earth then none of us would exist...

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Philosophy & religion
HerRoyalFattyness · 13/02/2020 16:57

I'm Catholic. (Ish)

The way I see it, if god is real we have two possibilities.
S/He is either the jealous, vengeful, hateful god of the old testament, in which case I'd rather not be in heaven with someone like that.
Or s/he is the loving, forgiving god of the New testament, which means it doesn't matter how you live your life as long as you're a good person.

KingaRoo · 13/02/2020 17:01

But the new testament specifically says that being "a good person" whatever that means isn't enough.

HerRoyalFattyness · 13/02/2020 17:11

KingaRoo yep, but God will forgive so it doesn't matter as long as you're not a murderer etc

KingaRoo · 13/02/2020 17:13

That's not what the new testament says.

BigFatLiar · 13/02/2020 17:17

The only thing we can really be sure off regarding the existence of God/heaven/hell is that one day we'll all find out the truth.

HerRoyalFattyness · 13/02/2020 17:19

KingaRoo
I know that's not what it says.
But the god of the new testament is very forgiving and thus, s/he will forgive me for not following the "rules" and I'll get into heaven WinkGrin

LonginesPrime · 13/02/2020 17:22

The only thing we can really be sure off regarding the existence of God/heaven/hell is that one day we'll all find out the truth

Not if we lose all consciousness at death.

Newmetoday · 13/02/2020 17:24

leckford

Completely agree. It’s the biggest con in history

KingaRoo · 13/02/2020 17:24

@HerRoyalFattyness I don't understand what point you're trying to make...

Squigean · 13/02/2020 17:27

Purgatory is the holding cel where you stay while they decide what to do with you. If you get enough prayers you'll go to heaven (required number unknown).

Last rites before death is as good as going to confession.

HerRoyalFattyness · 13/02/2020 17:28

KingaRoo

My point is it doesn't bloody matter what you do as long as you're not hurting others. That if there is a god and an afterlife, it is fine and you'll still go to heaven as long as you aren't some sort of crazed psycho or rapist etc.

KingaRoo · 13/02/2020 17:35

But we do all hurt others.

If the God in the bible exists then the whole point of the bible is that being "good enough" (by your definition not a psycho or rapist) is not enough. So your argument isn't logical.

If the Christian (or other religious) God doesn't exist then it doesn't matter what you believe. If the Christian God does exist then you are only "saved" I.e. go to heaven by faith in Jesus.

www.openbible.info/topics/jesus_being_the_only_way

Dyrne · 13/02/2020 17:39

Your problem is that your DH appears to be a twat.

If you believe, believe in the God who sent his only son to earth to embrace and include the outcasts of society - the tax collectors, the ill, the thieves, the prostitutes. Believe in the Son who died for our sins and while being tortured on the cross still called out for forgiveness for his captors.

Don’t believe in the Old, White Men who have taken that beautiful concept and who have set arbritrary “Rules” as a way to control the population.

If your DH spouts bile and threats about going to hell then he is exactly the sort of person who would have been in the Temple while Jesus flipped his shit at the complete bastardisation of his Father’s name.

CallofDoodee · 13/02/2020 17:43

I'm a very lapsed Catholic.

It's a load of crap IMO, but culturally I still have links to it because of my family and friends etc, Baptisms, communions, weddings etc. But you don't really believe you will burn in hell if you don't go and tell some bloke all your 'sins' do you?

Oh and you won't find a 'modern Catholic church' either. I know from experience that even the most modern seeming, friendly church will hit you out of nowhere with a homily about the evils of abortion or homosexuality or something.

HerRoyalFattyness · 13/02/2020 17:47

KingaRoo
Of course it isn't logical. It's not bloody logical to believe in God.

If god is real they'll either forgive me for being a shite Catholic, or I'd rather be in hell than with a vengeful, jealous arsehole. My ex was like that and frankly I'm better off Grin

OstrichRunning · 13/02/2020 18:00

OP, as fast as I understand it (as a lapsed Catholic myself), a lot of that stuff e.g. confession is stuff the Catholic Church came up with and has no basis in the bible. Think about it. What can be the basis for such concern if it isn't even in the bible? To reassure yourself, I'd recommend reading up a bit about what parts of Catholicism are grounded in the bible and what parts aren't. Protestantism doesn't involve confession, iirc. I have a lot more respect for Protestantism generally.

I don't mean to disrespect anyone but so many aspects of how the Catholic Church operates makes me so angry! The current supposedly progressive pope compared abortion to hiring a hitman and said having children through IVF is interfering with God's plan, whereas children conceived naturally are 'part of God's plan' Sad It's all just smoke and mirrors for misogyny and a desire to control others

Gwilt160981 · 13/02/2020 18:08

I'm a lapsed Catholic. My mom used to tell me that the catholics worry about going to hell. She was protestant then converted to Catholic as me dad was raised Catholic (he didn't have any interest in it) I don't agree with all the catholic beliefs, I believe in more of live and let live. My husband was never baptized nor our daughter. Don't worry too much. I haven't been to confession since I was about probably 14. I'm 38 now. I never got married in Catholic church, it all kicked off over that. It was my choice not to. I didn't want to get married in a church because I would've felt like a hypocrite for not going.

Original poster
Crazydaisy11 · 13/02/2020 18:13

Thanks everyone. I agree with a lot of what has been said. I do believe in right to abortion, gay marriage, ivf etc.
I think as long as you live a good life, that 'sins' I may have committed I have forgiven myself for I dont need a man who calls himself a priest to forgive me.
Its interesting about other religions protestants and other Christian's not having confessions and other parts being different Not everyone can be right can they!

OP posts:
OstrichRunning · 13/02/2020 18:47

absolutely. If you want to confess, as a Christian you can do it directly to God yourself. Nowhere in the New Testament does Jesus say, you must all go to a priest to confess your sins! As I remember it, any time he talks about his day equivalents (the 'Pharisees and scribes'), it's to call them out on their hypocrisy! Grin

IDontLikeZombies · 13/02/2020 18:55

This is why I opted out of Christianity - I lived in constant guilt, mainly about sex. It really upset me that, in our culture, you could be a nasty, judgemental, drunken so and so and still be within the rules but sex outside marriage and it was the bad fire for you. I'm aware this was mainly cultural rather than religious but it put me off.

These days I just try to be nice and I'll let the afterlife sort itself out. I'm sort of hoping to just kind of diffuse into the atmosphere and kind of be at one with whatever happens to be there.

TheSoundofSilence · 13/02/2020 19:16

God, The Universe, Life Source - whatever you wish to call that Entity which is Love and Life itself, is way, way beyond any man-made religion or cult. My sense here is that you need to perhaps take a more spiritual (as opposed to religious) understanding and sense of God. Yes, all religions have kernels of truth within them, and religion can certainly be a gateway to spirituality, but in and of itself it is not genuinely spiritual.

I was raised a Catholic, and my parents are staunch Catholics who despair at their son who has left the fold. The truth is, I have never felt freer since leaving. Much of religion (not just Christianity) is a defence against personal and group pain and trauma, and very little to do with genuine spiritual realities. Take what you will from Catholicism (as well as other religions) and if you feel so worried about being cast into hell, by all means attend confession. However, my sense is that the Catholic Church is merely a cult which uses fear and threats to subjugate its followers and leaves in its wake the catastrophic results.

Original poster
Crazydaisy11 · 13/02/2020 19:22

@IDontLikeZombies I like the idea of that, be nice and let the afterlife sort itself out.
It does seem very similar to a cult, maybe if I wasnt born into it, catholic schools and upbringing I'd actually think it was batshit to even question if its realGrin

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread