Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Teenager won't stop texting my OH

62 replies

Imagiro · 11/02/2020 22:09

Hi all.... please be kind!

AIBU - my partner's 18 year old messages my OH CONSTANTLY ( Between 300-500 messages a day - seriously ). I don't see this as any of my business - other than we don't get the chance to do the basic stuff ( ie eat ) uninterrupted. She messages whilst she is in the same room even! And if my OH doesn't reply immediately she 'prank' messages until she gets a reply.
I feel unkind for seeing it as a problem - but its driving me mad!

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 11/02/2020 22:14

Do you mean daughter texts her father constantly?

You write it like he's yours and she's some random.so it's a bit confusing.

Bluntness100 · 11/02/2020 22:16

And are you sure she texts that much! Might you be exaggerating? Because that's approx once every single waking minute.

brightbluesky · 11/02/2020 22:16

Dont know what to say other than that is an extreme amount of messages and very odd. 300-500 messages! Suprised her fingers haven't fallen off!

Is there a back story, does she have special needs?

FATEdestiny · 11/02/2020 22:17

If my teenager sends me 3 consecutive texts (that could have been one text paragraph) it makes my teeth itch. I'd be immensely irritated by such a large number of texts.

Is your partner bothered by them?

lyingwanker · 11/02/2020 22:19

Is she ok? I mean, that's just not normal is it?

Why doesn't your partner say something though? It winds me right up when my kids expect me to instantly reply to texts and then will sent several repeated texts in a row, especially when they know I'm driving. But I call them or text back when I'm able to and tell them I'm busy or whatever.

PickleMyPepper · 11/02/2020 22:20

It's not a random infatuated teenager, it's his daughter.
I highly doubt she's messaging him that many times per day, but she should be allowed to talk to her dad when she wants.

He doesn't have to reply immediately, if she starts spamming him get him to put his phone on silent.

Seems a non issue really.

74NewStreet · 11/02/2020 22:22

It can’t possibly be that many times per day.

OldHarrysGameboy · 11/02/2020 22:24

Possibly this relationship is not for you.

Cherrysoup · 11/02/2020 22:27

Surely not! That’s just bonkers. Has she no life?

Morgan12 · 11/02/2020 22:28

Think you may be exaggerating a tad?

Bluntness100 · 11/02/2020 22:29

Op are you jealous of her and his relationship?

It's very odd to write teenager won't stop texting my other half, if you're referring to his daughter. And unless there is a drip feed of additional needs, then she's not texting every single minute of the day as you're saying, you've over exaggerated massively.

How you refer to her and the exaggeration would indicate there is something else going on here, and it's not about her texting.

Original poster
Imagiro · 11/02/2020 22:30

So - all who have said 'it can't possibly be that many times' - yes, it is. She will continuously press a single letter, eg ' 'v,v,v,v,v,v,v,v,v,v,v,v,v,v,v,v,v,v' - and hit 'send' repeatedly.

OF COURSE she should be allowed ( And is! ) to talk to him whenever she wants. To dismiss it as a 'non issue' is really unhelpful - because it is a valid issue for us. And we're going round in circles trying to understand it.

OP posts:
february08baby · 11/02/2020 22:31

clearly you are exaggerating the number of texts and its rather disturbing that you act like she's not his child. You seem rather jealous of his relationship with his child and rather immature yourself. Surely this is a wind up? It is half term after all.

MarshmallowsOnToast · 11/02/2020 22:31

So does your partner see it as an issue too?

titchy · 11/02/2020 22:32

Can't he just switch his phone off? Or on silent at least.

ShirleyPhallus · 11/02/2020 22:32

This is only a problem if he lets it be. He doesn’t need to be looking at his phone every minute of the day to know he has that many messages. He could just put it on silent for an hour and not look at it.

74NewStreet · 11/02/2020 22:33

Does she have additional needs? Sending continual texts consisting of one letter? Confused

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/02/2020 22:34

She’s not a “teenager” though is she, she’s his daughter.

How long have you been together? Is the messaging frequency new?

My DSS recently got a phone and he messages DH a lot. It’s lovely they can communicate directly when he’s not with us. I chat to my mum a lot on WhatsApp.

JillAmanda · 11/02/2020 22:34

Does he see it as a problem?

MamasAndPapas · 11/02/2020 22:34

Set a few ground rules together. First one - NO phones at the dining table; maybe a second one could be that he turns his phone to silent and only checks it every now and then.

MamasAndPapas · 11/02/2020 22:35

Atm, he is enabling her and it sounds like she's doing it to wind you up.

Casmama · 11/02/2020 22:36

This is ridiculous. Boundaries!
He needs to agree rules with his daughter. No texting him while in the same house, no texting unless there is a valid message and ignore all other communication.
He needs to put his phone to one side during meal times and get a grip of this situation. I know it is not your problem to fix but it sounds like he is being a complete doormat here.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 11/02/2020 22:42

I would block her number. I would do that if my 18 year old was being this ridiculous

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 11/02/2020 22:43

Why doesn't he tell her to stop?

mummyway · 11/02/2020 22:47

Your partner should ignore the prank messages. The more he gives in the more she will think it works and continue

Swipe left for the next trending thread