Is this burnout or am I just not cut out for nursing?

[Fullforcegale]

I’ve been working as a nurse for 2.5 years and sometimes I feel like I hate it with a passion. I find the lack of control over my day depressing as I am constantly on edge anticipating the next admission or time consuming emergency. Many of the patients are perfectly pleasant but it only takes one very anxious/rude/demanding patient to upset my day. I hate how some senior staff and doctors speak to us. I detest being made to feel incompetent because I don’t know something minor or they are in a bad mood.

I work in haematology/oncology and the patients often die but I rarely feel anything. A death in my shift is an inconvenience because I will have to wash the body and transport it down to the morgue. I wish patient’s wouldn’t cry when I’m there because I have nothing to offer them.

I really don’t know if I’m completely unsuited to the job or whether I’m just burned out or depressed. For all the negatives, the majority of the team are great and we look after one another. I just can’t seem to shake this feeling that I am wasting my life here.

I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. It does sound like burnout.

I work in a unit with a 10-20% mortality rate. Burnout happens. Posters who are disgusted, or even vaguely surprised, by your experience have had an extremely sheltered career or experience of life. If you can’t fathom burnout - be glad.

It is quite common where I work for staff to rotate out for a while. To do six months working on introducing a new system, or some education work or something like that. They return feeling re-energized (usually).

Also never downplay the impact of shift work - I do 50% nights and it is a major contributor to mental and emotional distress.

"AlexaAmbidextra

I have been a childrens hospice nurse for 12 years and your attitude to the dying and deceased is frankly appalling for someone working in care.

Another one with absolutely no understanding. Do you think OP feels like this on purpose?"

Not at all I have more understanding than most based on my job role and it's not her fault it is a terrible approach to have in that area of nursing. Which is why I said she should look into another. It is not doing her own mental health any good at all and equally.importantly the patients and families in her care.

Not at all I have more understanding than most based on my job role and it's not her fault it is a terrible approach to have in that area of nursing. Which is why I said she should look into another. It is not doing her own mental health any good at all and equally.importantly the patients and families in her care.

Lolly86. I too have been a hospice nurse and have worked in oncology for the last twenty years. I don’t think you demonstrate your understanding by telling someone who is obviously struggling that they have a terrible approach and that their attitude is frankly appalling. That implies to me that not only do you lack empathy and understanding but that you are rather nasty and judgemental. I would expect better from someone in your line of work.

Yes @Lolly86 it is indeed terrible that a nurse should feel this way. What is terrible isn’t the Op, who very obviously cares enough to ask for help on here. Terrible is the fact they are clearly floundering in a distressed state working in what sounds like an unsupportive and toxic culture. Evident from the description of staff being horrid to each other and no mechanism for debriefing or clinical supervision. These units and hospitals normally end up with a mass exodus of staff and it takes years to put right. Blaming this as op having some sort of caring or empathy deficit is wrong and it’s very worrying that people claiming to be senior HCP on this thread are not recognising what the real problem is.

I didnt say that the op was uncaring I said her attitude was. If she is feeling like that it will show so by all.means get some help or change roles but dont continue in a role when you are finding that a death is an inconvenience as she will need to wash and care for them

Alexa - you seem to be putting words into my mouth. I have said the attitude shown is appalling I have not blamed the OP I have said that she needs to change roles etc. If you feel like this after only 2.5 years then either the environment or the job itself isn't right.

your attitude to the dying and deceased is frankly appalling for someone working in care.

it is a terrible approach to have in that area of nursing.

Lolly86. Nope. I have directly quoted you. Your words, not mine.

Fullforcegale do you work in the UK ? Just wondering as we never used to transport deceased to the mortuary which was always the porters job. Also don't call it a morgue . Relevance being that we used to have clinical supervision in the NHS to discuss burn out and compassion fatigue after numerous deaths.
Maybe it has all changed since I retired .

@jaffacake2 I work in the UK and call it a morgue. We also still take patients down there albeit with the porters. In the old days when the families wanted multiple viewings before the body was removed we used to have to go to the morgue, bring out the body and wash it each time too! A gristly task sometimes. Hopefully the latter practice has ended but I haven’t worked on a ward for yonks.

@IheartNiles that sounded horrible having to take out a body and rewash for the relatives to view ! Never had to do that. But do remember the metal trolleys the porters used to transport bodies. They put a blanket on the top to try to disguise it but everyone knew.

Yes I remember those. It was awful @jaffacake2 especially trying to hide the natural decay. The worst case was a child over 2 weeks from death with daily viewings. This was in the days of short shifts when you’d work 12 on without a break. We saw some pretty traumatic stuff back then, but the peer support (management support has always been lacking, let’s face it) seemed better. I dunno where it all went wrong.

Get help. Get sick leave for your condition and for goodness sake, get a job as a teaching assistant or receptionist. I hope I never have to encounter someone whose emotional ill health impacts the patient and their family in this way.

It's called gallows homour and it is there for a reason. No matter what you see, you let off steam at work and leave it behind. I saw the best and worst of humanity in my days. I remember trying to get used to the fact that after a fire, the smell would stay in my nose for days. I worked in emergency for many years and its a job, not an emotional choice and that is what the patients and families need, a rock not a wreck.

I've never met anyone in health care always able to leave it behind at work.
We all seem and smelt some pretty distressing things.When I trained at least even the most hatchet faced Matron would recognise when a chat was needed and although the sights we worse the pace was less unrelenting and patients/families expectations a bit more realistic.
But if you haven't seen nurses/doctors broken on the rocks you must have been looking the other way.
Just a thought OP,if your in the RCN contact them ,there is probably a lot of information/support there.

I agree completely with what fluffypyjamas and hag say. I've been a nurse for nearly 40 years, and I also feel I'm burnt out/ done with nursing. People who don't do this kind of role have no idea about the mask you have to wear and the toll it takes. I have also been on the receiving end of a lot of cancer treatment for a number of years. I can always tell if my hcp is OK in themselves or not, I'm sure a lot of them think they are ok and haven't got the insight you have. They block questions, or statements they're not comfortable with verbally or with their body language, it's horrible to be on the end of it. So I can see it from both sides. I'm glad you have insight, and I can identify with your feelings as a nurse right now too, I'm off sick with work related stress and am having counselling. It feels like Ive failed, but I know rationally I havent, I have been failed by the work environment. Take some time off to look after yourself, we nurses don't do that, we put our needs at the bottom of the pile constantly and then berate ourselves when we fall apart. It shouldnt be like that. The rcn provides counselling, but most of all be kind to yourself and listen to yourself and what you need. I wish you well x

Get sick leave for your condition and for goodness sake, get a job as a teaching assistant or receptionist.

No, we should not be encouraging qualified nurses to leave the profession, we should be providing appropriate and professional support to enable them to work through emotional burn out. I suspect the OP is far more compassionate and will be a better nurse than the stiff upper lip brigade who refuse to even acknowledge their own emotional limitations.

I am a registered nurse and am very compassionate and caring but I can identify with your feelings. The lack of time and resources really effected my ability to feel empathy at times .Hopefully I remained caring and professional . I left the NHS for those reasons and have never regretted my decision. Senior members of staff are probably feeling the same, hence their poor attitude towards you which is no excuse . Look for another area to work or change career .

fullforcegale your most recent post sounds so much more hopeful. I hope some of this thread has helped you. I am also a nurse who can absolutely see why you feel this way. I am told (I mostly refuse to accept it) that I am burning out but it presents in a different way for me. Counselling would be a really good idea to help you process how you feel about your job, both nursing generally and your current ward. The counsellor might be able to help give you the confidence to apply for other jobs if you feel like that is the right way forward for you, but having someone impartial and non-judgemental to discuss it with might really help. I don't know how common this is, but my Trust is able to refer to counselling/ CBT etc with a much shorter waiting list than going via your GP. We can either self-refer or be referred by a line manager if we wish. If you refer yourself, your manager/ colleagues are not told about it. I hope you find a way through this and feel better in time about work and the impact it has on your home life etc. (this is an incredibly hypocritical and ironic post from someone who has spent over a year pretending to be absolutely fine and refusing to let my lovely, supportive manager refer me despite the fact that she is the only person who I let see even a glimpse of how things really are, don't be like me!)

If every nurse who felt this way left the profession, the NHS would be in even worse shape that it is now. The NHS has a recruitment and retention problem for a reason.

Good to see so much support and understanding here from fellow nurses. Unfortunately there are some HCPs that have demonstrated no empathy whatsoever and instead have been quick to judge. Sadly, their unhelpful attitude will be prevalent in the workplace and as a consequence, many HCPs who are struggling will be reluctant to openly admit to it for fear of being condemned. What a sad situation in professions that claim to be caring.

Also, if you are on Facebook, you could look up Provent (I think it is also on other social media too but I don't know for sure). I read about it in the crappy magazine the RCN sends out. A nurse set it up as a support group for nurses suffering from stress/ burnout etc. I joined the Facebook group but can't post because I have an unusual name and it's not anonymous, but it is good to see that there are others who feel the same and are struggling too.

I think this thread is really interesting.

Quite often ive spoken about the generational differences in Nursing, with a different managerial perspective seen in those of an older generation. Ive seen older Nurses also turn their noses up at the younger generation training to be Practitioners in their chosen field. I do think theres a bit of a generational divide, and its been demonstrated in this thread.

I do think theres a bit of a generational divide, and its been demonstrated in this thread.

Really? Well I’m a 67 year old retired nurse and have been very much on the side of the OP in this while challenging the posts of others who I’m pretty certain are much younger than me. Stop with the sweeping generalisations based on age. It’s insulting.

I do think theres a bit of a generational divide, and its been demonstrated in this thread.

Why say that? I just don't get why as nurses we have a go at eachother. It's really sad. None of us know what's going on in another person's life, having big judgey pants on doesn't help anyone.
Thanks I will look at the provent fb page.

@AlexaAmbidextra I wasnt talking about specifically YOU. Just as you say stop making sweeping generalisations based on age, please can you stop assuming this isnt the case because of your own opinion. This is something ive seen over the years in the hospital ive worked at. It MY opinion based on what IVE seen.

Why say that? I just don't get why as nurses we have a go at eachother. It's really sad. None of us know what's going on in another person's life, having big judgey pants on doesn't help anyone.

Beacuse its what ive seen over the years, and its been demonstrated to some extent on this thread. Its an anecdotal observation based on what ive seen. Call me a 'judgey pants' all you like, it doesnt change what ive seen