Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Have you ever had a “Wow! I want to/am going to marry this person” moment?

117 replies

BritneyPeedOnALadybug · 09/02/2020 16:11

Just as the title says really. I haven’t had one myself but interested in reading others.

OP posts:
NameChange84 · 09/02/2020 16:18

Yes. I had a lightning bolt moment and was convinced that he was the answer to my prayers, butterflies everything, truly believed he was heaven sent.

Reader, I did NOT marry him.

He ended up being the only person who has ever truly bored me to tears. He constantly talked over me in these 20 minute long monologues about steam trains and light drizzle on the B749 and how this man one time said something in a book about silence that contradicted another thing in another book about silence. Things got very weird and creepy with him and I got out before I became inspiration for an episode of Luther.

ImNotWhoYouThinkIam · 09/02/2020 16:20

Yep. Absolutely knew he was the man I was meant to marry. He literally* completes me.

And then he ended it because he hates my kids. So I guess I was wrong

*not literally

LegoCardSwapper · 09/02/2020 16:22

Yes, with my husband. Cringe. I am not that sort of girl! But it happened, on our first date.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 09/02/2020 16:23

No, never. Not even with my ex husband who I did marry. Maybe that's why he's an ex. Or maybe I'm just not romantic.

Chottie · 09/02/2020 16:24

Yes, I did.

Reader, I married him....... and we are still together over 40 years later :)

MindTheMinotaur · 09/02/2020 16:25

Yep, but he was already married to someone else.

Badtasteflump · 09/02/2020 16:25

Yes I did. I met DH in a night club on a drunken night out. I was young & enjoying being single so was often meeting men I liked & fancied. But this was completely different in that as soon as he started talking to me I felt as if I knew him already - and when he went off to the bar I told my friend I'd just had a weird feeling that I'd met my future DH, which in hindsight, I had.

myplateisfullenoughthanks · 09/02/2020 16:27

My husband did!

Brexshits · 09/02/2020 16:27

Yes-first date.
Yes-married him
Yes-still together 20 years on.

Brexshits · 09/02/2020 16:28

And apparently the night we met he’d joked to his housemate that he was heading out to find a wife!

userabcname · 09/02/2020 16:28

I remember after the first time DH and I kissed, going home and thinking 'I'm going to marry him one day!' And I did! Not usually the romantic type but obviously my lovey-dovey intuition was right that time.

bingbangbing · 09/02/2020 16:29

Yep. Felt like coming home. DH of ten years now

Narcheska · 09/02/2020 16:30

Yes the first time I kissed my now husband. I
Was a massive cynic didn't believe in soul mates etc but it happened. Best decision of my life to meet him before work that day (he had a meeting where I work)

Reallybadidea · 09/02/2020 16:31

Yes, I remember the moment so clearly, I just knew he was the man for me. After an 18 month relationship the absolute dickhead dumped me just after we'd got back from holiday, for a woman he'd met a few days before we left.

He then cheated on her with me for a few months before she found out and gave him an ultimatum. They're still married, I believe. It took many years before I realised that I'd had a lucky escape and he was welcome to her. With hindsight I think I romanticised sexual chemistry and confused it with love at first sight.

Katinthedoghouse · 09/02/2020 16:31

Yes.

Saw him in a nightclub and we caught each other’s eyes and both pretty drunk . I literally (almost) shook inside with like an electric shock, which empowered me so much so I walked up to him and asked him to dance.

That was over 30 years ago.

I often think fondly of that night.

We are still together.

DramaAlpaca · 09/02/2020 16:32

Yes. We were good friends who suddenly had a bit of a lightning bolt moment that we were supposed to be together, despite me being in a relationship at the time. Long story short, I ended my relationship and my friend and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary later this year.

peachgreen · 09/02/2020 16:32

Yes. Phoned my best friend the day I met him and told her he was the one. He did the same. I would never have believed in such rubbish before I met him!

EmmaGrundyForPM · 09/02/2020 16:34

I didn't but dh claims he knew that I was "The One" as soon as we met. We've been married 25 years so I guess he was right. I think subscribe more to the Tim Minchin view Grin

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 09/02/2020 16:35

Yep! When I agreed to start dating my now DH I knew I was actually deciding that he was the one I would marry.

BlakeLifelesss · 09/02/2020 16:38

I did. In France when I was 25. I was there for a year and had a boyfriend back home in uk. I worked with French guy and we were such good friends. Like, amazing connection. One night after a lot of drinks at a conference we kissed, but put a stop to it and both went back to working relationship/friendship.

The way he spoke to me I had several 'I could spend my life with this man' moments, but went home to boyfriend after year was up, only to realise our connection was nothing like that with French man.

After 6 months was going to go to France again but he had to go to Canada as his dm was not well at all. And so things continued for a while but there was always something so I guess it wasn't meant to be.

I think about him often, and am friends with him on Facebook. But I rarely go on there and I don't contact him because I know it would open up old feelings and I don't know how strong my resolve is, and I am now married with 2 children.

But long story short, I still feel if we had got together it would have been amazing. But I'm aware that's probably fantasy, and so I'm happy keeping it that way, if a little sad looking back.

ScreamingLadySutch · 09/02/2020 16:38

Absolutely I did. I was walking up the stairs to a friends flat, and he was sitting on the sofa facing the stairs.

My life changed from one step to the other. It was that dramatic. Even though I was very tired, we stayed up all night talking.

Within a week he told me he was going to marry me.

We were married for 25 years, he cheated at 15 years and we limped on for another 10.

I think you get that soul mate thing with narcissists. I am now highly suspicious of Hollywood style instant love. How can you love someone you don't even know? It is projection and fantasy. I think being friends and slowly getting to know eachother is a lot more healthy and forms a much deeper connection.

He has had 3 more soulmates since me, it is very depressing watching their infatuation and their conviction that they have found the love of their lives.

I just wish I could stop loving him and be more open to another relationship. But trust and belief in self as an attractive human being is shattered.

kingsassassin · 09/02/2020 16:42

Not quite, but the first time I met my DH he walked me home and then left. I had the strangest feeling that I'd just met my best friend.

That was 22 years ago. Married for 19 years.

Be1atrix · 09/02/2020 16:43

Yes. I went out for dinner with my now-wife and felt it right to my core. Still very happily married now :)

RuffleCrow · 09/02/2020 16:47

That's a really good point @screamingladysutch. Love has to involve real knowledge of the other person or it's just infatuation/ limerence. I was "in love" with my ex for 6 years before we got together and sadly that level of infatuation led me to excuse everything from cheating to porn to dv. Until i finally woke up and divorced him. Currently have a huge crush on someone new but am very wary of projection and delusion creating this perfect man in my head who doesn't actually exist.

MrsWhites · 09/02/2020 16:51

I didn’t have a ‘I’m going to marry him’ moment but since we’ve been married I’ve had a few ‘I can’t believe I get to be married to you’ moments. I’m really not a soppy person either 🙈