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Original poster

Is there a special training school that partners go to.....

41 replies

FlamingoAndJohn · 08/02/2020 21:28

....where they get taught how to stand exactly in the fucking way all the time?

Honestly, dh stood in front of the shoe cupboard when I was trying to get my shoes and then I needed to get in the kitchen when I needed to go in their to get my keys.
Then at various points throughout the day he just stood in the bloody way.

Does your partner do that or did they go on a different training course.

OP posts:

Likethebattle · 08/02/2020 21:38

Mine signed up for leaving empty wrappers lying about for fuck all reason! Why when the bin is a foot away is there empty wrappers just randomly left?

Original poster

FlamingoAndJohn · 08/02/2020 21:42

I’ve realised the middle of my op makes no sense.

And I think mine might have dipped into the ‘leaving empty packets about’ course too.

OP posts:

lucysmam · 08/02/2020 21:44

I think my children attended at least a few days at that school! They're always right where I want to be in the kitchen

turnedabout · 08/02/2020 21:46

The cardboard centre of the empty loo roll ...
Need I say more?

Original poster

FlamingoAndJohn · 08/02/2020 21:48

Toilet roll tube isn’t a problem here.
Perhaps because we have Who Gives a Crap toilet paper where each roll is individually wrapped so when you change the roll you have a piece of paper and a tube to get rid off.

OP posts:

zsazsajuju · 08/02/2020 21:49

My dds both went on that course

Weenurse · 08/02/2020 21:52

Toilet tube school here as well.
Now I just need the dog to go to the ‘put all your toys back in your bed’ school, instead of leaving one in every room of the house. Generally in the doorway.

dustibooks · 08/02/2020 21:57

Yep, mine went to the School of Getting in the Way too.

I go to work about an hour before he does. He goes in the bathroom at exactly the time I need to be in there. He then saunters downstairs and stands in the way of the cupboard where I keep my tablets. He will then move over to stand in front of the sink so I can't get a glass of water to take said tablets. He'll then move over to stand in front of the fridge so I can't get my packed lunch out of it. Then he stands in the middle of the lounge so I have to treat him as a roundabout in order to get to my handbag. He then stands by the dresser so I can't reach my car keys, then he moves over, blocking my way to the shoe basket. The final insult is when he stands back after I've got my shoes on (by which time after all this nonsense, I'm borderline late leaving) and stands in my way to the front door. AAARRGGHHHH.

ProperVexed · 08/02/2020 21:58

My online Sainsbury's delivery arrived at 1700 yesterday. DH managed to stand just in front of the fridge and every single cupboard I needed to get into to put away the shopping. I encouraged him out of the way each time with a slight dig in the ribs. At one point he sighed. At that point I lost it and shouted, " get out of the fecking way then,". I don't know how he manages to be so in the way all the time. (He normally helps put the shopping away but was distracted with a work problem...so he says!)

user1471453601 · 08/02/2020 21:59

If husband's do go to a school to learn this, who the fuck taught my dog? The minutes I've wasted stood on the stairs while Darling dog stands at the bottom of stairs trying to greet me. It's like a dance, I move to my right to get past, she moves to her left. I'm a bit wobbly on my legs and won't stride past her, so we just dance for a while until I see an opening and get past.

Original poster

FlamingoAndJohn · 08/02/2020 22:02

Can you encourage your DP to stay longer in bed @dustibooks?

OP posts:

IndianaMoleWoman · 08/02/2020 22:11

My children must be doing at least an hour a day of special classes in that at school. DH has majored in Toaster Setting Roulette, Empty Bottle Back in The Fridge Studies and Where Are My Keys? I’m Going to be Late! 101.

SomeonesRealName · 08/02/2020 22:16

My DS is the professor who wrote the book that is the key reading material for that course. While simultaneously getting in my way obviously.

Original poster

FlamingoAndJohn · 08/02/2020 22:16

Ah. I’ve taken the where are my keys classes. It pissed off my dh so much that he got me a Tile so I can use my phone to find them. I need to use my watch to find my phone first though.

OP posts:

TonOfLead · 08/02/2020 22:23

DS has a doctorate in getting in the way. His skill in it is unerring.

Ylvamoon · 08/02/2020 22:23

Luckily my DH skipped the lessons on how to stand in your partners way... But he does exell at leaving the butter knife on the worktop surrounded by butter.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 08/02/2020 22:28

Mine went to the getting in the way school. He had a term at the faffing as we leave the house one too. And the leaving random objects that need to be in the garage on the worktop one. And the empty packets one.

Notso · 08/02/2020 22:44

DH is good at getting in the way and if his body miraculously isn't you can be sure his great clodhopping shoes, his work bag or one of his many coats and hats will be

When we got home earlier he told the kids to make sure they hung up their coats and put their shoes away while stepping out of his trainers in the middle of the doorway between the kitchen and hall, and slinging his coat and hat on the kitchen worktop.

Weenurse · 08/02/2020 22:46

Mine excelled at faffing as we leave the house and got honours in where are my keys.

Witcher · 08/02/2020 23:06

My dh has a masters in getting in the way !

HeyMac · 08/02/2020 23:48

Yes! It doesn't matter where I am in the house. Him and/or DD is within a metre of me. Usually right in the way of whatever I need to access. There could be 40,000 jobs needing done- if I start a job DH does it too. But badly- so I'll run the water to do some washing up of delicate bits whilst simultaneously stacking the dishwasher. Turn round and DH has washed one fancy pants knife and emptied the whole sink because it was "dirty". Aaaaaaahhhhhhh.

Also... if I try to slide small DD out the way I get "Mummy it's not kind to push"

AlbusSeverusMalfoy · 09/02/2020 09:55

Mines top of the class in 'clothes next too, rather then in the washing basket' he also excels in 'hair in the sink'

SharpieInThe · 09/02/2020 10:04

DH did a weird version of cubs where the motto was "Never take a belt off your trousers even when they're going in the basket" rather than "be prepared" for your wife to whip you with the belt

JigsawsAreInPieces · 09/02/2020 11:44

Mine comes in the kitchen for a chat and stands right next to me so prevents me from getting back to the cooker with the spatula I've just picked up or to the sink with the pan of boiling water that I need to drain. His other thing is as soon as I start to clean the floor he needs to immediately walk through to open every cupboard for one reason or another.

PenguinsOnParade · 09/02/2020 11:54

My dogs went to the "getting in the way" school I think. They're small but know exactly how to lie down to take up the most amount of space possible.

DC do the toilet roll tube thing. I tried making them into a tower to point out how many there were. They started adding to it instead of binning them.

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