Help me help my 11 yr old son lose weight

[Olliphant]

Hi

I have two boys and a girl. Eldest son is very tall and thin. Youngest daughter also. Middle son is tall - but he carried weight on his tummy and chest.

He has:
breakfast - 3 weetabix and full fat milk

Lunch - white wrap and jam
small plain yogurt with spoon jam
one fruit (apple or grapes)
some pretzels, (about 10)
water

Dinner - home cooked dinner with salad starter
glass milk (full fat)
fruit for pudding

He has maybe one white wrap for a snack
Sometimes has a crunchy bar as a snack at school
whole pizza once a week

(eg of dinners)
macaroni cheese once a week
pasta bolognese or similar once a wee
veggie curry rice
roast chicken with all trimms

He cycles to school and back (20 mins total)
Plays football once a week (usually 3 in match season)

Please help (actually even seeing it written down has helped - no more pizza)....

OP, my dc was exactly the same, at 11 I was wringing my hands and panicking. Puberty hit, shot up 5 inches and would now be described as slim. I was totally agonising over it as had always had a slim child but between 8 and 12 I felt the panic over weight. Now, food is the largely the sane, but body shape is totally different.

Please don't worry too much at 11. At that age my son was very overweight (99th centile!). I encouraged healthy eating and when he shot up at 12 the problem was corrected. He did give up puddings (his own idea for lent last year and never started eating them again). I'd probably try to cut down on the sugar in your DS's diet - tell him it's for health/dental reasons - and he'll be fine.

Also breakfast is better to be protein based I'd say - my DS used to have scrambled eggs and smoked salmon every morning (posh git!) and it filled him up.

I understand op. All 3 of my DS were chubby at that age, despite a healthy diet and DS was the worst as he hated exercise and was a fussy eater. He stayed chunky - ok, fat - until about 15, then just rocketed in height and slimmed down drastically without really making any major changes to his diet. A Bit less junk and managed to get him to drink water - finally! He’s now 18, 6 foot 3 and looks fine.
Try not to worry too much and just keep enouraging exercise and making small changes. A bit of jam never hurt anyone!

It definitely doesn't seem like too much food to me, my 9 and 10 year olds would eat more than that (although I can't tell evening meal portion size) so maybe adding a bit more exercise and making some minor tweaks would be enough. Mine have more protein with their lunch (e.g. ham sandwich and 2 babybels) and they have 2 or 3 pieces of fruit and either a cake or crisps.

Oh the nonsense spouted here 😤

Macaroni cheese is one of the unhealthiest meals...

That's just NOT true. Yes of course, calorific & carb based but home-cooked, part of a balanced diet & served with salad / veg it's absolutely fine!

If you eat loads of it - not great. If you are very sedentary - not great. If you don't vary your meals - not great.

But in itself, it's totally fine.

If OP's 11yo is overweight, she should first of all chat to her GP. It's not about weight reduction at that age anyway, it's more growing into your weight.

I think he'll likely change over the coming years but the main thing now is encouraging a healthy lifestyle including a variety of foods, more exercise but stop with the demonising of foods (not OP but so many PPs.)

Oh thank you everyone! It makes such a difference hearing your stories. I can probably expect a growth spurt then - I look forwards to it!

He does like scrambled egg and salmon so I may give him that as a treat a couple of mornings - and maybe beans and egg too?

@siblingrevelryagain has great advice.

And I say that not especially because it would lead to weight loss, but because it's a healthy, rounded way to look at food.

And it makes scientific sense too eg whole fat milk.

My ds was the same at 11. Too many croissants and baguettes at school.
We cut right down on bready products and the weight started coming off.
Other dcs don’t have any issues but he’s always prone to putting on a bit of weight. He controls his bread intake quite well now and is active so is slim now. Plus he grew a bit too.

Foghead - I am sure my son is the same. He loves bread in any form, (esp wraps !). That is very reassuring - thank you.

Lots of ideas, I have to sort myself out and get into healthier habits for him.

How much exercise does he do?

Whattodo - he cycles to school and back (maybe 20 mins total), and plays for half an hour after school, and lunch time (about 30 mins).

He plays football once a week, (usually three times at match time - Spring time)

He plays out at the weekend but no more organised sports

I remember 11 being an awkward time. I was a slim child but I got a bit of puppy fat at around 11, and then I shot up in height over the summer and started going through puberty and went back to being slim again. It might be he's about to shoot skywards!

DesLynamsMoustache - there has been a few stories like yours so that makes me feel lots better, thanks!. My husband and I are tall but my kids are dwarfing me already. Need another job to keep them clothed....

A good way of looking at it is to think about the nutritional quality of each part of a meal, rather than the calories. So a white wrap with jam is essentially just sugar (refined carbs). Whereas something like scrambled egg and salmon is full of healthy fats, protein, minerals and vitamins.

What veg does he like?

Build on what currently works, make small changes over a few weeks. Swap out the sugary things for other things that have a higher vitamin, mineral, or healthy fat or protein content. He'll feel fuller, and will get less cravings for white, sugary things over time.

Incidentally, semi skimmed milk is a still classed as a low fat food, and there are studies which suggest that full fat milk may be the healthiest option, so moving to skimmed milk isn't probably necessary.

I think you're getting great advice here - watch out for sugar in yogurt (check the amount of calories in the tub) and the other thing that jumped out at me is greens, or the lack of them really.

I think he might benefit from a bit more fruit and veg - the sugars from the fruit won't affect his blood sugar in the same way that white bread does and he might feel more satisfied in general with more fruit and veg in his diet. I'd keep on with the raw stuff before dinner but try and get some more veg in with dinner too.

Is he getting plenty of sleep? I crave carbs when I'm tired.

Omelettes
Scrambled egg
Baked beans
Wholemeal bread (perhaps go to the half and half stuff to start with or it's a big change from white wraps.
Meat and cheese
Fresh fruit
All good breakfasts.

I wouldn't sweat 3 weetabix. My very slim 3 yr old will occasionally put away 2 (we have skim milk here) but she doesn't overeat. She stops when she is full even if there's chocolate or blueberries on her plate(!)

Lunches...
pasta/rice salads? (Wholemeal)
Wholemeal wraps with cream cheese?
Salads
Quinoa salads
Homemade savoury muffins
Lots of fruit and veg.

Can you get him involved with cooking and prep at weekends? Start to expand his food horizons and understanding how to balance a meal... talk about "so a plate needs to have about 50% veg, 25% carb 25% protein... get him involved in choosing the menu with you and prepping and cooking!

Don't sack off pizza entirely! You can make them at home actually on a wrap (uber cheat!) or make pizza as a family at the weekend? Make dough, Grate the cheese... it's super easy and you can use Wholemeal flour too

Thanks all, I'm so pleased I posted. I am going to put more veg in his diet for sure - and getting him involved in cooking is a great idea. I love the ideas above from Space Dino - was actually just googling savoury muffins.

I think I will buy a variety of lunch stuff with protein and get him to try some new things at the weekend - even if it is different once a week, eventually he will have lots of new food to choose from.

Thanks again. (also just signed up to the park run - groan)

www.imdb.com/title/tt3759434/

This sounds exactly like my ds2 age 11! After his swimming lesson today he told me he wanted to eat less junk as he thinks his belly is too big. He is hovering at the top of the bmi for ideal weight for his age & height but ds1 is extremely fit (19 & goes to the gym most days) & dd is very slim. Like yours it is carbs he eats too much of. Mine eats lots of fruit, not much in the way of biscuits, cake, sweets as I don’t buy them often but bread...He plays football 3 or 4 x’s a week & I am hoping he is about to have a growth spurt. As others have said there is a thin line between healthy eating habits & being worried about food. As I have M.E. ds2 has had to look after himself too much food wise at a much earlier age than I would have liked. When he was younger he always knew if I was not well which eg cereal he was allowed to help himself to. He would then come & eat it next to me. Not exactly ideal but...At least it has made him into a very caring young person.

Wraps are actually really high in fat. We’re peddled them as a healthy alternative but there’s a lot of oil in there to make the bread flexible.
Standard bread is a better alternative!

He needs more exercise rather than a diet. Cycling for 20 minutes and football once a week plus playing at lunchtime is very little for a child that age. PMSL at the handwringing over 3 weetabix only on MN.

Don't just 'cut out' the things he likes. He'll just end up bup going on a binge when he can and end up with an unhealthy relationship with food because the things you stop him having will be seen by him to be the 'best' foods.

Small changes over time.

*Replace full fat milk with semi-skimmed.

*Replace the yoghurts you have now with plain greek yoghurt (not greek style, but greek yoghurt. Fage 0% is a good one) and put frozen berries / fruits in it. If he likes it that way, freeze it and he can also have it as 'ice-cream' (frozen yoghurt).

*Don't stop the pizza. It'll just make him want it more. I assume when you say he has a whole pizza that you mean the size of those frozen Goodfellows type ones? If he currently has deep pan, swap for thin crust (less calories). Or instead of those, look in the chilled sections of supermarkets and buy the oval shaped ones that are about half the calories and size. Or buy the mini ones and add some extra toppings. Or make your own.
You say you are thinking about Park Run. So you could have the pizza that evening if he completes the walk/jog/run that morning.

*Let him have pretzels if he loves them. But 5 instead of 10.

*Replace white wraps with wholemeal ones. Or let him have the white ones still but swap them for the half sized ones that most supermarkets sell instead of the full sized ones. Let him have jam in them still if he wants, but only ever other day. Ham on the days in between.

*Keep eating pasta if he likes it. But swap the white pasta you have with wholemeal. Or even better, you can buy red lentil pasta and other types in supermarkets now that have no difference in taste but massively less calories.

*If he likes bread, let him eat bread. But swap normal slices for either milk loaf or Danish bread etc. They are about 50cals a slice instead of over 100.

Badger, your son sounds a very caring boy x

Jingle-that is very interesting about wraps - I am going to stop buying them as he just can't stop eating them. (or smaller ones instead)
Teatea - yes, I think he needs more exercise too. We have enrolled at park run- tomorrow!

BobbyBlueCat thank you for all these suggestions - I think I will basically do everything you suggested....

Does he do any sporty activities? Swimming is excellent for getting rid of tummy fat. Also sports like rugby where they tend to have players of all shapes and sizes and at this age little contact (if that's a worry).

My son was a huge eater from a very little chap, but he was also extremely active and so he didnt put on the weight. However I think you are right to look at diet because if they do stop being active they will pile on the pounds.