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Original poster

Essential or luxury?

26 replies

Hadenoughofitall441 · 04/02/2020 22:23

Today at the school I overheard one of the mums telling another that she was buying her son a new jacket for his birthday as it was too small. Now is it just me or surely a coat comes under essentials and something you should buy regardless. I know some people are strapped for cash and I know everyone has different ideals. I can understand if a child already has a jacket and they’ve asked for another one specifically. So tell me what you think? Obviously before someone gets on thier high horse, each to thier own and I regard jackets as an essential I was just intrigued.

OP posts:
goldenorbspider · 04/02/2020 22:28

Obviously an essential but I don't think it's odd to give one as a gift. New pjs, socks at Christmas ect. If you're tight for cash these essential items wrapped up can bulk up gift giving.

AnotherEmma · 04/02/2020 22:31

YABU to use coat and jacket interchangeably, they are not the same thing!

You are also being unreasonable and not very bright in failing to understand that some people struggle to find the money for both essentials and birthday presents, and that sometimes they might have to buy a more expensive essential item like a coat as a birthday gift. And maybe they will buy a slightly nicer one for the birthday as opposed to a big standard cheap one if it wasn't a birthday gift.

BillieEilish · 04/02/2020 22:34

What a ridiculous question, surely you can read between the lines here?
Sad

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General shopping
Thetellyisjelly · 04/02/2020 22:37

Yeah and it depends.
The kid may love fancier clothes so the mum may have promised an updated/ label/ not warm but trendy etc coat for the birthday.
One of my sons LOVES clothes. Far more than my daughters. He covets coats and shoes far more than toys/ games/sweets. He’d be delighted at a birthday coat!

PlanDeRaccordement · 04/02/2020 22:39

Many parents would buy an essential, functional jacket not as a present but often the child really really wants a certain brand name jacket that is extra ££££ and so a nice thing is to get them that for a present.

LouLouLoupee · 04/02/2020 22:40

My son is approaching a birthday, we are skint, he needs new clothes.
He will receive those clothes (including a 2nd hand jacket) as birthday presents.

You can’t just ‘buy something regardless’ if you are broke.

Thetellyisjelly · 04/02/2020 22:40

Op what a boring boring life you must live if you spend your time listening in to other people’s conversations , and feeling intrigued at something so obvious. People who have less money are forced to give essentials in place of gifts. Yep .
Hold the front page!

pollysproggle · 04/02/2020 22:41

I bought my 13 year old son pants for Christmas- isn't it the same thing?
Clothes are essential but can also be a gift

Original poster
Hadenoughofitall441 · 04/02/2020 22:42

I’m sorry did I not mention already I understand people have different cash flows.... 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
EnidButton · 04/02/2020 22:43

Essential but a lot of people who don't have spare money give clothes and shoes as gifts at birthdays and Christmas. Covers two things at once then. Nothing wrong with that, it's a smart thing to do. You answered your own question in your opening post.

norealshepherds · 04/02/2020 22:44

It’s essential, but also no problem with it being given as a gift

Original poster
Hadenoughofitall441 · 04/02/2020 22:45

@Thetellyisjelly actually I didn’t listen in I actually had my earphones in listening to music but the lady was talking that loud I actually heard what she was saying.

OP posts:
SpottyDottyNonHotty · 04/02/2020 22:46

I usually give an essential item for birthday or Christmas. I'd get it anyway but giving as a present means they get something needed rather than just crap they don't need!

Gogolego · 04/02/2020 22:46

Depends on the coat. Moncler puffer = luxury. A bog standard waterproof = essential

I'm from a staunchly middle class family which was pretty well off and clothes such as coats were frequent birthday presents

Yabu

Thetellyisjelly · 04/02/2020 22:48

Ah yes well...
Was she smoking a fag and watching a big massive telly, covered in tattoos , swigging special brew and minding a staffie without a lead?
No wonder she wasn’t prioritising a coat !

ForeverBubblegum · 04/02/2020 22:48

The mother clearly has limited money and is having to use her 'gift' budget on an essential coat.

The other options would be:
Kid has nothing to open
Kid has new toy, but no coat

Personally I think she chose the best of the bad opinions.

AnotherEmma · 04/02/2020 22:49

"I’m sorry did I not mention already I understand people have different cash flows"

Why ask the question, then, if you know the answer?

Is this a goody post or a you really just this stupid?

Notso · 04/02/2020 22:51

A coat is essential but there's plenty of reasons you might give one as a birthday present.
I got soap and socks for Christmas, both essentials but I was happy to receive them.

RandomUsernameHere · 04/02/2020 22:55

I give my kids stuff they "need" at birthdays and Christmas. Not as their only presents, but it gives them more things to unwrap and means I don't need to buy so much rubbish they don't need. Never once thought there was anything wrong with it Confused

Original poster
Hadenoughofitall441 · 04/02/2020 22:57

@AnotherEmma no it’s not today and not stupid either, I’ve always regarded certain things as essentials and brought them. If my dc asked for a specific item of clothing of thier favourite tv show or character then that would be a gift for bday or Christmas but other wise all the essentials are just brought. I was just asking what others thought about the differentials. No biggie. I believe thier was a similar thread a few months back asking about a bed for a gift no one got bent out of shape on that.

OP posts:
Halo1234 · 04/02/2020 22:57

Suppose it depends on the kid.
Someone who is into fashion and notices what they wear. Or a perhaps younger child who thinks about climbing trees and doesnt mind what they wear. My dc1 wouldnt thankyou for a coat but dc2 would.

Original poster
Hadenoughofitall441 · 04/02/2020 22:58

Just to Clarify nothing wrong with giving as gifts I was just asking people’s opinions 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
olllsss · 04/02/2020 23:11

I’m sorry did I not mention already I understand people have different cash flows....
If that was really the case you wouldnt have made this thread.
Yes people who are broke do give essentials as gifts.. is it really that difficult for you to get?

WhatWouldChristineCagneyDo · 04/02/2020 23:15

I’m sorry did I not mention already I understand people have different cash flows

Obviously you don't actually understand it though. You can regard something as an essential 'and just buy it' ? Well I regard shampoo as an essential but I've washed my hair with Imperial Leather bar soap when needs must, because I haven't had a single pound to my name. 'Just buy it' is sometimes completely and utterly impossible.

Cremebrule · 04/02/2020 23:20

I think I know what you’re getting at. Obviously for lots of people there isn’t an option re essentials for gifts. I am comfortable but do still get essentials as gifts if they coincide with the right sort of time. I don’t see why not but everyone would have their own lines. Eg school shoes would never be a gift but sparkly party shoes probably would be. I would quite happily wrap up a new coat for Christmas or a birthday if they needed it at the right time but if they needed it in say October, I wouldn’t wait until Christmas. I would be quite happy to put socks, toothbrushes, pants etc in a stocking.