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Met really nice guy today. Should I message him?

44 replies

Imtootired · 31/01/2020 16:40

Today I had a dishwasher delivered. The guy was really nice. My son and my baby were here and my son and I were sorting out his school stuff. I asked him if he had kids, just making conversation about all the stuff they need. He doesn’t have any but seems very much like a “dad” type. He was great explaining how to use the new dishwasher. He asked if there were three and a half people in the house, because we were talking about whether it would be good for me to set the dishwasher to half washes. I said no just two and a half so he knows I’m single. We were also talking about how bad some landlords are because I’ve had a lot of trouble with mine. He left his card in case there are any issues. I’m wondering if maybe he was keeping the door open for contact because since I’m renting things like that would go through the estate agent. My friend said maybe I should message in a few days saying thanks for his help and it’s working well or something like that. We weren’t flirting at all just had a nice chat and we inadvertently found out that we were both single, or at least I am. I assume he is because no kids and he didn’t say anything like hopefully soon etc. Would it be weird if I messaged him?

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Imtootired · 31/01/2020 16:43

Al you can tell from my post I have a baby so not really looking for anyone at the moment plus I can’t go out and leave my baby but if we got to know each other a bit through texting that would be a good start.

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PixieDustt · 31/01/2020 16:43

Definitely weird. I think he was just doing his job.
Because he has no kids doesn't mean he is single Confused could be infertile or just not want them but he's not going to tell a stranger that. And the whole card thing every business does that. I rent and the pest control man left his card don't think that means he wants me to call him out the blue just to try and hook up with him.
Seems a bit obsessive to me and you have kids you don't know who or what this man is like. Just leave it.

SylvanianFrenemies · 31/01/2020 16:46

He may be single, but I don't think you can assume it from that.

I think it would be ok to text something like "Thanks for your help today. It was lovely chatting with you".

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NameChange84 · 31/01/2020 16:47

You don’t know for definite that he is single... I don’t know if it’s just me but every guy that’s been into my home to do work over the past year has either left their card or given me their mobile number in case of any future problems. The British Gas lad in his 20s gave his phone number to my Mum in her 70s in case she had any boiler problems and he said he’d pop round anytime - I don’t think he was hitting on her! I think it’s just something they do. The majority of the ones who’ve given me their number or card have definitely not been single.

By all means text and say thank you if you feel so inclined. There is no harm in that. Only you know if it was a flirty situation or a friendly/professional one. I wouldn’t assume that he wanted more. He might just have been doing his job.

SylvanianFrenemies · 31/01/2020 16:47

Just saw your update. Not really sure what the point is if you aren't available for dating.

Imtootired · 31/01/2020 16:49

Yes fair enough. Believe it or not I’m not obsessed with him at all I was just having a chat with my friend and she said I should message him and she’s done that a few times and hasn’t ended up going out with any but at least she gave it a go.

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yogo · 31/01/2020 16:51

If you can't go on dates I can't see any point. I certainly wouldn't be inviting him round.

Imtootired · 31/01/2020 16:53

I might do it so long as I can word it in the right way. Friendly but not weird. I couldn’t go out at night but if he seemed really nice I’m sure I could manage coffee at some point. I don’t know. The guy who came around to look at the old dishwasher was so rude maybe I’m just overwhelmed at getting someone so nice.

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OnTheEdgeOfTheNight · 31/01/2020 16:53

Just take it as a sign that there are nice people in the world with whom you can have a nice chat for a few minutes.

Are there issues from your past that make you feel there aren't many nice guys out there? If so, it'd be better to deal with that before you make yourself vulnerable by getting into a relationship.

It sounds like you would like to have more friends. Babies and toddlers are great for this. If you want to meet more people, just be friendly whenever you are out and about at baby groups, the library, park etc.

Imtootired · 31/01/2020 16:54

No I definitely won’t invite him around!

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Imtootired · 31/01/2020 16:56

I know lots of nice people I have male and female friends but as for relationships with men I’ve had bad luck. Haven’t found anyone. I know it doesn’t sound like it from this post but at the moment I’m very happy single and really enjoying my baby.

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TrickyKid · 31/01/2020 17:01

I wouldn't. You weren't flirting and you don't know if he's single. Doesn't sound very promising.

Frownette · 31/01/2020 17:04

I think it's fine actually! You're not asking him or a date or anything.

Imtootired · 31/01/2020 17:05

To be honest I only really wanted to give him the chance to message me if he liked me, I don’t really want to actually pursue something myself if that makes sense

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Mummymonika · 31/01/2020 17:07

Go for it girl!

OnTheEdgeOfTheNight · 31/01/2020 17:10

Your earlier posts sounded like you were looking for something to happen with this guy. If you feel you have plenty of friends and are enjoying being single, was your friend just egging you on to contact him? Maybe she was just having a bit of fun. Anyway definitely best just to forget him.

Imtootired · 31/01/2020 17:12

Ok thanks for the responses. I might message something to do with the dishwasher in a few days and if he initiates more conversation that would be nice but if not hopefully I won’t have been too inappropriate.

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TinklyLittleLaugh · 31/01/2020 17:13

I think you know if there’s a bit of a spark.

My DD is looking for a boyfriend at the moment (been purposely single for the last year after a bad relationship), and I met a guy today who was just so exactly her type. Still kicking myself for not finding out if he was single and up for a blind date.

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Usernamealreadyexists · 31/01/2020 17:14

If you think there’s a spark, send an innocuous message to say thanks and that you enjoyed the chat. See how he responds. BUT you don’t sound like you are in a place for dating.

Imtootired · 31/01/2020 17:16

I’m happy being single for now because I’ve got my baby keeping me very busy and most of my energy is going to him but in the long term I’d love to meet someone eventually. So I’m definitely not on dating apps but if I met someone really nice then that would be good but not something I’m actively looking for. And my friend is just like that she’s very confident with guys and giving things a go which I think is a good thing because you may as well try sometimes

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Feelingabitashamed · 31/01/2020 17:17

No harm in sending a nice brief thank you text but given that he was working when you met, you should definitely take his steer in how you reply. If he just says 'you're welcome!' Or suchlike then leave it.

MozzchopsThirty · 31/01/2020 17:17

I would
When I was single this happened a lot

What have you got to lose? If he's not single he can just say 'sorry I've got a gf'
He'll be flattered

Imtootired · 31/01/2020 17:20

I would say we did have a slight spark. We had around a 15-20 minute chat after he’d finished the job. Yes @TinklyLittleLaugh nothing ventured nothing gained. That’s the phrase I’m looking for

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Imtootired · 31/01/2020 17:23

Yes my friend said she just got “you’re welcome” or “no worries” messages when she did it and she was fine with that and I would be too.

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ABlackRussian · 31/01/2020 17:29

Hi, OP, Sorry, but this is where some of us, as women, fuck up. He showed you how to work a dishwasher. How on earth can you equate that he's the "dad" type from that? That is, if he's telling the truth. Loneliness can cloud your judgement. It certainly has done in the past, for me.

If you want to ask him out, go for it. But stop making assumptions.