Ok, I could really do with some other points of view as I'm feeling slightly bogged down by my situation atm. I've been married to a very wonderful man for the last 2 years but we've been together for the last 11 years. He and his ex wife separated over 12 years ago, she has a long time partner and the split was very amicable, it still is and we 're all on good terms. The 2 children they share are now 20 and 23 and both at university, point is the parents continue to want to co parent, share costs and still have a joint bank account. Incidentally he does not and never has had a joint bank account with me. Feeling slightly secondary to the ex, can't they just direct debit directly to the kids? Am I wrong?