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Original poster

No Social Media Please, we’re old school!

46 replies

WingingIt101 · 30/01/2020 22:48

Hi all.

My dh and I are expecting our first baby in 8 weeks and have kept the whole pregnancy off social media and decided we do t want pictures of our child sharing online. No judgement of people that do choose to do this but for us it’s not right; we would like our children to grow up away from SM and enjoy the freedoms of not having images of them posted online before they are old enough to understand or consent to it. We also don’t like the idea of photos being shared outside of people we know well - we are part of the last generation to grow up without smart phones or really prolific/easy access email and digital sharing and so that may be influencing us!

My parents are SM addicts. Will share any old crap either from groups they are part of or about their own lives and ours, and my in laws like to share photos with their entire phone book (although with the volume of pics that go to every flipping group on WhatsApp I wonder if they just don’t realise they are sending stuff to everyone 😂)
We would like to share pictures and stories with family who will care that baby wingingit are carrots for the first time that day etc but do not want the inevitable forwarding to dozens of others or social media sharing, or indeed that of photos or videos taken by them.

How can we kindly say we want others to enjoy the kids and get pictures and videos but not to share them with the world and his wife on social media or otherwise? Please don’t flame for “no one else will care that much about your child” or “surely it’s nice that others will love and want to show off the baby” - we are so lucky to have such a loving family and I hope They all do enjoy seeing and having photos with the kid(s) but just in a more traditional way that doesn’t involve them being shared with Karen that my mum hadn’t seen in 50 years and the guy that used to come and clean the windows!!

OP posts:
BemidjiMinnesota · 30/01/2020 23:19

You aren't going to be able to control them; if you send them a picture then, as sure as anything, that picture will be on social media within an hour.

Can you make them all use Snapchat? So any pictures and videos you send them will disappear, and you'll be notified if they screenshot.

GreenTulips · 30/01/2020 23:22

You tell them every time
.
Tell them no!

No one share pics of my kids because I don’t send them.

I totally agree with you.

Original poster
WingingIt101 · 30/01/2020 23:29

Oh god - I don’t use snapchat (and now feel about 108 years old 😂) but that’s not a bad idea.
I’d hope that if we asked nicely that we could try sharing as itll hopefully be lovely for all of us to share pics. Was hoping to find a way to explain / set the boundary and then if anyone crosses it we can stop sharing with them or have a conversation where we can revert back to the point where we set our expectations (people can’t be exprcted to be mind readers and know we don’t want it after all!)

OP posts:

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Families
UnleashTheFury · 31/01/2020 07:27

You’ll just have to never send them digital photos.

Go for the old fashioned printed photo and tell them they are not allowed to take a photo of the photo but that they can display the photo or take it to show people
You know, like the Olden days.

OnlyLittleMissOrganised · 31/01/2020 09:01

Just say what you did in the OP that you dont want LO to have a social media presence until they are old enough to decide for themselves.

We have done the same thing. One side of the family like to put everything on SM. We just said dont put anything up please as we explained. Thankfully they haven't put anything up. We put one picture up at new year as it was cute of me and my husband. We edited the picture with a heart to cover LOs face.

Original poster
WingingIt101 · 01/02/2020 22:12

Thanks @OnlyLittleMissOrganised good to hear success stories!

OP posts:
AutumnRose1 · 01/02/2020 22:18

I’d just tell them and never give them any digital photos.

If they’re really rude they will take photos of photos but if you explain you’re deadly serious then hopefully they won’t.

I’m glad you’re doing this. I think it’s really poor form putting up photos of children who can’t give permission. Or anyone who can’t give permission!

BecauseReasons · 01/02/2020 22:21

We don't allow pics of our kid on social media and we know a couple of other families who've done the same- asking nicely has been sufficient to stop it in our case.

Fedupwithmyhouse · 01/02/2020 22:26

Let’s face it, it’s the same as not wanting baby to have solids before 6 months etc. You’ll still catch your MIL/DM shoving chips in his/her face from about week 8.

RaininSummer · 01/02/2020 22:28

My granddaughters dont appear on social media aoart from a being born announcement. We have albums wirh famiky as contributirs and viewers and we all know not to post pics . Just tell them the rules and if they csnt abude by them, dont let them have any access to photos .

BecauseReasons · 01/02/2020 22:30

You’ll still catch your MIL/DM shoving chips in his/her face from about week 8.

We didn't have either happen with ours. You must have awful in-laws.

lljkk · 01/02/2020 22:54

What will you do about your friends or random people you meet at toddler groups?

I have a cousin, him & wife never announced the birth (I had to ask my aunt what happened after comments about the much discussed pregnancy suddenly stopped on FBk).

So I never see pics of their little boy on FBk ... except when friends of cousin/wife post a lots-of-cute-babies-pic & tag the parents. And on back of that, I just found some great video of very cute little cousin laughing! So thanks for thread, inspiring me to have a closer look.

RachelEllenR · 01/02/2020 22:58

I post the odd pic on Facebook, but I know which of my family/friends don't and I never share photos of their children. If they can't respect it, stop sending photos. My family all contribute to a shared google photos album to share with each other.

AutumnRose1 · 02/02/2020 00:46

Lljkk, friends shouldn’t ignore the rule.

Toddler groups aren’t compulsory, good idea to avoid according to my parent friends 😂

katy1213 · 02/02/2020 01:07

Put the fear of god in them and say one transgression and you're not getting any more photos until graduation? And mean it!
I'm not very good at social-media, but would Instagram stories work? So the picture only lasts for a few hours and then it's gone? I don't think they can be forwarded, though I'm not sure.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 02/02/2020 01:09

Something to be mindful of OP when you put them in a childcare setting or school, fill out a form to explicitly state no pictures on social media. They should have one available - these days every school I know posts pictures of kids daily

Purpleartichoke · 02/02/2020 01:14

I’m actually going to suggest a private blog. You can control the picture resolution which makes the pictures you post there not print well and not be ideal candidates for photoshop and such. You control account access. Each person granted permission has a username and password.

They can still download the pictures, but they won’t be as good as if you emailed them photos.

Just tell them if there is a shot they want printed, you are happy to print and deliver a physical photo to them.

AutumnRose1 · 02/02/2020 01:20

Purple why all that hassle for no reason?

Purpleartichoke · 02/02/2020 05:58

We did it and it was ridiculously easy. Much easier than sending out emails to everyone who wanted updates and not as easy to forward as emails. Our family is spread far and wide so sending pictures regularly is pretty essential.

cece · 02/02/2020 06:43

I think it's a goo d idea. As my kids have got older they've wall asked me not to put their pictures on social media. I wish I'd done it from the start.

Original poster
WingingIt101 · 02/02/2020 06:50

Crikey the blog sounds very professional (disappears to work out how to switch on laptop...!)
Thanks for all the messages - honestly I was worried we were being a bit precious but it’s so good to hear that for others who have just asked politely that it’s worked, and interesting @cece that your kids actually asked for this; makes me think we are doing the right thing!

Friends would be expected to honour the rules too (we have another couple friend who do this and it’s worked for them!) and it’s a good point about school and nursery settings when we get to those!

OP posts:
nuttymoon · 02/02/2020 06:51

We edited the picture with a heart to cover LOs face.

You do that it takes seconds to remove that in photoshop don't you ?

Toomboom · 02/02/2020 06:51

You’ll still catch your MIL/DM shoving chips in his/her face from about week 8.

As a grandparent I have never done this. I have always respected what the parents want.

I have never posted pictures of my grandchildren on social media. Speak to your parents and tell them not to do it.

nuttymoon · 02/02/2020 06:52

Do know.....

BethanyGilbert · 02/02/2020 07:01

Try Lifecake op. It’s an app that people have to be invited to and it displays in chronological order so lovely to look back at.

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