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Original poster

What are the best/worst things you've experienced at a wedding?

313 replies

Turniptracker · 30/01/2020 21:32

Just started planning a wedding and it got me thinking about the best and worst things about weddings I've attended in the past. The worst was a wedding where we kept getting moved from room to room for each stage of the wedding, we were kicked off the dining tables after our last mouthful of dessert and had to stand up in a cold stable with no chairs to juggle coffee and chocs (hello indigestion). Best by far, but for all the wrong reasons, was watching a groomsman rip his trousers through vigorous dancing and he was so drunk he proceeded to just rip all his clothes off and dance in his pants Grin
Any "best things" for good reasons also welcome!

OP posts:
NewNameChange2020 · 30/01/2020 22:27

Worst - an old hotel where the ceremony room was up thousands of flights of stairs and above the pool/gym so stank of chlorine and sweat. It was November and very cold and draughty. Awful feel to the whole place, and hard for elderly relatives to get up there comfortably and once up there were freezing. Then we had to wait about 3-4 hours for the evening do to begin. Luckily we had a room so napped, others who weren't staying literally had nowhere except the lobby to wait. Food was also very meh and everything felt cold, cramped and quite dull.

Best - a small boutique restaurant which served delicious grilled meats and salads in the garden, it was summer, sunny and lovely outdoors and had such a chilled happy vibe.

choirmumoftwo · 30/01/2020 22:27

Can I ask when your SIL wedding was Broken? It may have been a season when flowers are not normally allowed in church.

NamiSwan · 30/01/2020 22:29

Best weddings have been the relaxed non pretentious ones with plenty of food.

Worst weddings have always been the ones with no or little food. Particularly sitting around for hours waiting for something to eat whilst bride and groom have photos taken. Just get some bloody canapes or something.

Absolute worst was my brother in laws. They'd spent loads on wedding venue and brides dress, but no food till 8PM (wedding ceremony was at 1), and then they'd gone for the cheap option of a hog roast... but I'm vegetarian! The "vegetarian option" was vegetable kebabs which was literally just vegetables. And I was breastfeeding an 8 month old and starving!!!

Tl;dr: food really makes a big difference to my wedding enjoyment 🤣

Interested in this thread?

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Weddings
zeddybrek · 30/01/2020 22:30

Worst thing at so many weddings - having to wait for ages while bride and groom do wedding photos. Even with food and drink the wait is always so long.

Patch23042 · 30/01/2020 22:30

Try to avoid a tedious twelve hour marathon with lots of spare time. As many have said, smaller and more relaxed weddings are far nicer.

If you’re marrying somewhere rural, arrange taxis/minibuses to the nearby town at the end of the night.

Brokenlightfitting · 30/01/2020 22:31

Can I ask when your SIL wedding was Broken? It may have been a season when flowers are not normally allowed in church.

It wasn't. The Vicar looked quite surprised and lots of guest were tutting heavily.

Apparently the hotel had told them that everyone bought church flowers to put on the tables. Obviously the hotel had little experience of village churches where the wedding flowers can be eeked out for a month by a good flower club.

RhymingRabbit3 · 30/01/2020 22:33

I've never been to a wedding with a free bar, although a drink upon arrival and some bottles of wine on the table go down nicely.

The best weddings I have been to have been relaxed and informal. I don't necessarily mean in the middle of a field, but somewhere where people can feel comfortable and not so posh that you feel put of place. I prefer a smallish wedding (50 people or so rather than 100+) so everyone gets the chance to speak to the bride and groom and each other, rather than just feeling like one of the crowd.

Unfortunately one of the worse weddings I have been to was one without a proper wet weather plan. They had an outdoor wedding and hog roast. It buckets down the whole day but the backup room was too small for all the guests and the hog roast obviously still had to be outside (under a gazebo) so everyone got wet going in and out for food and drinks. So if you're planning anything outdoors, make sure you have a decent plan B that you would be equally happy with.

DappledThings · 30/01/2020 22:33

WORST:bizarre table gifts- who wants a packet of seeds

I do! I've planted seeds from three weddings. Only one of them sprouted to be fair but it was still a nice gift

vincettenoir · 30/01/2020 22:33

Best - a really relaxed ceremony where we ate ice lollies on hay bales.

Worst - a grooms speech that was all about the best man after a perfunctory mention of the bride.

TillyTheTiger · 30/01/2020 22:36

Best - a proper shoestring wedding with potluck buffet, aunt had made all the dresses, cheap and cheerful venue but the bride and groom were musicians so the entertainment was incredible from various bands they were in, and the sheer love and joy that shone throughout the day made it so special. It was obvious they utterly adored each other and that all the usual wedding paraphernalia just wasn't important to them.
Worst - one where speeches and meal overran so all evening guests arrived and had to mill around awkwardly being completely ignored for 45 mins while the daytime festivities concluded. The same wedding did have free alcohol but if you wanted a soft drink you had to pay.
Other worst - reception in a village hall so no separate bar or anywhere to escape to, the shit music was so insanely loud that it was impossible to have a conversation even by shouting into your neighbour's ear so people were having to text each other (mainly to ask 'how early can we leave without being rude?')

Theworldisfullofgs · 30/01/2020 22:36

Worst - Top table had much much better wine than everyone else. They kept it hidden under the table.

Actually no! Groom called wife by previous wife's name in his speech.

Best: not to boast - probably my own. Very relaxed, my dad had died the year before and my sisters did everything they could to make it a joyful occasion. It's the joy that makes the difference. (Hiding the best wine, isn't very joyful.)

RhymingRabbit3 · 30/01/2020 22:38

Not me but a few friends have mentioned - destination weddings with an itinerary for the whole week.
Like you cant just pay £1000s for a flight somewhere you didnt want to go, but you also have to spend money on food and events which the bride and groom want you to go to but you're not even interested in.

FlamingoAndJohn · 30/01/2020 22:38

It’s funny how different some of these are.

One of my worst is what a PP has said was the best, no seating plan and a buffet.

The problem with that was that there was no space to mingle. Big tables, and no floor space. So everyone sat at a table (with a fight to get to sit with the family you actually like rather than the racist uncle). There was no where else to go. No outside, no standing room. But there was a bar. So that helped pass the 3 hours until the buffet.

Brokenlightfitting · 30/01/2020 22:40

Most:rat poo in the hay bales, so assume urine soaked as well.

misspiggy19 · 30/01/2020 22:40

Worst was crap food and not enough of it. Also crap cheesy DJs.

Echobelly · 30/01/2020 22:43

Nothing awful but the worst things are:
Long periods without anything to eat - if food isn't going to be for several hours after things start, give people nibbles when they arrive

Long periods with nothing to do - common if spaces have to be changed over. Provide a reasonable number of seats for those unable to stand for long periods, hire a band to play background music or get a friend with a guitar to do a singalong or something, just don't leave people with nothing to do except stand around and drink for ages.

Having long couple/family sessions with the photographer is a often a culprit for these dead periods - our photographer wisely limited it to 30 mins (and we had food and drink in that time, and included a photo with everyone) - but I have been to weddings with 1-2 hours of bride/groom photo time after the ceremony. You don't need that many pics, honestly, and by the time you've stood around for hours and had dinner, no one will have energy for dancing.

TBH, one wedding I really liked was a morning ceremony, brunch, all over by mid afternoon. We chilled out at bride's parents' house early evening in our casual clothes, it was lovely!

ordinaryword · 30/01/2020 22:45

Best... lovely church wedding followed by reception nearby. Sports match on the field in between wedding breakfast and evening do, brides family v grooms family, so no sitting around while photos were being taken. Loads of fun, those who wanted to play did, the rest of us had a drink and cheered them on.

FinallyHere · 30/01/2020 22:47

If you really want your guests to enjoy the day, spend a bit of time thinking of how the day will work out from a guests point of view.

For example, after the ceremony, there may be some hanging around to be done by guests while photographs are taken.

That time will be a lot more enjoyable if drinks and nibbles are served while the photos are being taken.

Think provide drinks for guests then we can have photos taken rather than expect the guests to hang around while photos are taken.

Make sure soft drinks are available
all.day.long

If there is to be a meal, time the wedding to make that at a normal meal time. Keep any speeches to a minimum.

I'm not usually very keen on photographers mingling with guests but one wedding we went to had a photographer all day long. He captured each group of people on arrival and did a great creative group shot using the staircase. When we next saw the bride and groom, the photos we saw were of ourselves arriving, the group shot and one of bride a groom. The photographer had also taken lots of really lovely candid shots of our children. Brilliant.

Lostkeyagain · 30/01/2020 22:48

Best: Scottish wedding with reeling afterwards. Was so much fun, utter chaos and a great ice breaker.
Another: Wedding was in a castle and we got a lovely champagne filled tour of some of the rooms whilst the photos were being taken.

Worst: MIL haranguing me at my own wedding breakfast Sad.
Second worst: Wedding was followed by a couple of sandwiches and cake in a marquee, and speeches. Then the couple left on a motor bike at 3pm. No-one has told us if would be so brief and we were stranded in a large garden in the middle of nowhere.

SproutMuncher · 30/01/2020 22:50

I like most weddings, and as you can see from this thread you can’t keep everyone happy - I think the main thing is to be considerate. The only weddings I haven’t liked have been inconsiderate eg no access to food or booze (I don’t mind paying but let me get some!), or inconvenient logistics eg church half an hour drive from venue.

I personally don’t like organised fun such as one wedding where we all were expected to do line dancing in the evening, or where the band is so loud it’s hard to have a conversation.

Best is where the bride and groom are relaxed and want people to have a good time - this is perfectly possible at a big fancy wedding as well as a more relaxed one.

OhioOhioOhio · 30/01/2020 22:51

Being ignored by the bride who preferred her trendy friends.

Atalune · 30/01/2020 22:55

Best- always the ones that spend the money wisely- great food and band/music. That view it as a celebration to enjoy WITH friends and family and not as some sort of showboating affair with lots of chi chi instagramable bits but don’t take care of their guests.

Worst- see above.

One I went to had the bride and grooms names in 2ft high marquee lights spelled out and the most incredible marquee with amazing decor. Set in the gardens of a stately home. The food was a cream tea (!) and that’s it. Music was a shitty play list from an iPod. Photographer took various groups off for pics for 2 hours. We were given 1 drink and no canapés. No other drink/food was offered or available to purchase.
Such disdain for guests.

Cotswoldmama · 30/01/2020 22:56

Nothing that bad but I've been to a couple of Sunday weddings/ receptions and it doesn't matter how beautiful they are the atmosphere isn't the same as a wedding on a Saturday. when generally most people haven't had to book a day off work and generally have the next day off so can drink more and relax more!
I guess it would be the same for a midweek wedding. A Friday wouldn't be too bad.

bookmum08 · 30/01/2020 22:56

I have only been total 3 weddings (4 if you count my own one). They were all just boring. Utterly boring. The ceremony bit is boring and only relevant to the couple then followed by a 'do' aka the reception. Yawn. I have zero interest in sitting around eating a meal, making small talk, having 'a drink', a dance floor etc. All just boring boring.
That's not much help really.
I am quite fascinated by these wedding threads. They are like a parallel universe to me - something I can't believe actually exists!!

DecemberSnow · 30/01/2020 22:57

Haha...

Mine is gonna be under the worst bit for some if i have anyone like @Brokenlightfitting attend.
There will be no alcohol at mine, at all. !
Not free or to be bought 😂