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Original poster

DS hit a teacher and tried to walk out of school

64 replies

NeedHelpDS · 29/01/2020 15:51

DS is 6.5 in year 2. I had a phone call from his teacher today to say he had hit two kids, a teacher and tried to walk out of school. They can't physically restrain him so he is in insulation.

I will try and keep this brief. Lots of trouble last year with him refusing to do school work, wouldn't read at home or do any homework. So very behind at school. Lots of hitting other kids ect. School brought in a behavioural specialist to assess him but obviously he behaved really well on that day.

This year, he made huge improvements, started doing school work, reading at home ect although still very behind. Stopped having as many tantrums and hitting.

Until December, he had a lot of time off due to chest infections and other illness. Since Christmas holidays he's been horrific at home. Huge tantrums, hitting, kicking and biting my husband. (not me as I'm pregnant and he says he doesn't want to hurt, the baby) trying to break things in the house, screaming and shouting, you name it.

Hitting at school has started again apparently there have been loads of incidents over the last few weeks with him refusing to listen to staff at school and hurting other kids.

His teacher arranged a meeting tonight to talk but she's basically said she thinks it's because of the new baby. They don't know what to do with him. They've asked him what's going on and he doesn't know.

I don't think this behaviour is because of the baby. He is very excited and life hasn't changed for him yet. He has an older sister who we ahve no problems with.

I don't really know what I'm asking. I feel like I've been asking the school for help for over a year and it's only now they seem to be concerned. Has anyone any advice?

OP posts:

Downton57 · 16/10/2020 20:55

Keep working with his teacher and please don't imagine she is judging you. Many children with adhd and autism have sleep problems and she will be trying to establish how much sleep he is getting, because if he is exhausted during the day it will impact his ability to learn and his behaviour, and maybe rest times during the school day might be appropriate.

Original poster

NeedHelpDs · 16/10/2020 21:06

Oh I know she's not judging. She's absolutely lovely, genuinely cares about ds and I wish I could hug her for all she's done for him. I'm just having a bad day and I feeling sorry for myself. This whole assessment has been months of different people questioning every part of my life and sometimes I do let it get to me. Sorry for the pity party! My childhood cat died today so that isn't helping.

OP posts:

SherryPalmer · 16/10/2020 21:20

My ds is very similar. His Y2 teacher has been hinting heavily that she thinks there might be something behind his behaviour but sadly we are abroad and the support here isn’t great before the age of about 7. I wonder if your son is exhausted by school because this term is long! We’re starting half term here and it is long overdue - we’ve had issues almost every day this week. My son sleeps 7-7 which is much more than most of his friends but I also get comments on how tired he is. I’ve been wondering about sleep apnoea but I have no idea how that would be tested!

RoseGold7 · 16/10/2020 21:36

Sorry to hear this @NeedHelpDS as this sounds stressful. What is your DS like at home? How do you discipline him? Does he get his own way? Does he get the right amount of attention? Also, being behind in class can make children misbehave, even if they claim they aren’t bothered.

I hope you get some good advice from an Ed psych or SENCO.

Tistheseason17 · 16/10/2020 22:03

- it must be so difficult for you, OP. Glad he is getting support.

Original poster

NeedHelpDs · 08/11/2020 22:00

@SherryPalmer my DS had sleep apnea. It can be tested by a sleep study. He had his tonsils and adenoids removed about a year and a half a go. Go to your gp who'll refer you to ENT.

DS has an appointment with the doctor tomorrow. As far as I'm aware he will be getting diagnosed tomorrow. I don't really know what to expect from the appointment and I'm feeling very nervous. I don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight.

OP posts:

Original poster

NeedHelpDs · 09/11/2020 19:39

So ds has been diagnosed with adhd. The doctor was sumerising the reports from school and it was heartbreaking to hear about how he didn't really have any friends ect.

OP posts:

munchbunch12 · 09/11/2020 19:56

for you OP. I haven't any advice, I'm afraid, but I hope the diagnosis helps your DS to get the 1-1 and any other support he needs to help him.

Original poster

NeedHelpDs · 09/11/2020 20:00

Thank you @munchbunch12 I'm just glad it proves he's not just a naughty boy like so many labeled him.

OP posts:

lazylump72 · 09/11/2020 20:00

No words of advice OP as I have no experience in these matters however what stands out to me was the fact that your son can restrain himself with you and thats got to be a great starting point when your new arrival comes....I hope and pray you get a workable solution very soon and your boy becomes happier and calmer with the right support in place. I hope also he is the very best big brother to the baby in moments of calm maybe it might be of help to tell him how much you are excited that he will help you with the new baby and how much you are going to rely on him to help you both? Just to lay the foundations and gie him a sense of how important he is going to be? I wish you all well going forward.

Original poster

NeedHelpDs · 09/11/2020 20:08

@lazylump72 baby is now 8 months old and ds had his adhd diagnosis today. But thank you for the lovely supportive message. He is indeed a great big brother and we've not had any problems with jealously towards his little brother.

OP posts:

NullcovoidNovember · 09/11/2020 20:17

Your school sounds very good op.
Definitely go to gp as well though, they can kick-start lots of other interventions...

Everything other people said, sensory over load, triggers etc...

Having somewhere very calm and plain for him to be come home too, low warm lighting, not much in the wall... Very plain and calm...

NullcovoidNovember · 09/11/2020 20:18

Also maybe worth looking into retained privative reflexes... May not cure him but may help... With the behaviour.

BlankTimes · 09/11/2020 21:35

OP sometimes reading the dx reports isn't what you expected.
Don't forget, they mostly only focus on the negative things because they are the areas they have to identify so your little lad can be helped and supported. They leave you feeling as though your child is overburdened with difficulties, but they are not the whole picture.

As well as having those characteristics, your son also has all of the lovely characteristics that make up his whole personality. He's a lovely little lad who needs some support and it's fantastic to read that school are helpful and pro-active and will work with you to achieve that. (Some are useless, you are very, very lucky)

Take your time to absorb everything the report says and above all breathe a sigh of relief that your son's difficulties have been recognised and acknowledged and help is forthcoming.

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