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Original poster

Letting DD go to a Mormon church.

87 replies

Grembolina · 28/01/2020 22:46

DD has asked if she can go to church with her friends family tomorrow. She told me the area the church is in and I know there is ab evangelical church there who do lots of youth clubs and what not so I assumed it was that one.

I just googled it to check and the church she is actually talking about is a Mormon church.

I don't hold any faith, but have no problem with her believing if she wants to but am ai right in thinking Mormons are very serious in their beliefs and quite strict?

Is this something I should be discouraging?

OP posts:

TooleyVanDooley · 28/01/2020 22:48

How old is she?

fairynick · 28/01/2020 22:49

I don’t think one trip to church would hurt.
My aunty is a Mormon and although I am not religious and am against a lot that she believes in, I think their masses are fairly similar to catholic masses I attended growing up.
Maybe don’t make it a regular thing because I do believe that my aunty was vulnerable and poached by members of the church, they came knocking at her door when she was an alcoholic, but one mass surely can’t hurt.

Original poster

Grembolina · 28/01/2020 22:49

She is 12.

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Philosophy & religion

cuckooken · 28/01/2020 22:53

I wouldn't be happy with any of mine going to church with their friends family. There are plenty other things 12 year olds can do that don't involve religion. If your DD really does want to become involved then please go with her, don't let her be vulnerable.

Original poster

Grembolina · 28/01/2020 22:56

She is very easily led and a people pleaser but she likes to drink tea and coffee which a quick Google says is forbidden.

I think I need to have a chat and dissuade her from this one. There is a lovely chapel down the road from us that she could go if she wants to explore religion.

OP posts:

TooleyVanDooley · 28/01/2020 23:01

I would find out why she wants to go. She might just think it’s a fun thing to try out, in which case it’s unlikely to lead to any problems. She’ll probably be bored and not want to go again.

If she’s becoming genuinely interested in religion I would let her go but also find some alternatives for her to try as well. So that she can see the variety of options.

On the other hand, if the friend is pushing Mormonism hard, I’d be more inclined to stop it.

Wasywasydoodah · 28/01/2020 23:02

Definitely not the mormons. They are often controlling and exploitative.

Original poster

Grembolina · 28/01/2020 23:05

I think a chat is in order in the morning to find out what it's about and her motivation.

I can't believe I didn't ask these questions straight up. I just assumed it was the youth club church thing in the other church and now she is asleep so I can't ask.

OP posts:

zasknbg · 28/01/2020 23:05

12 is a very impressionable age. I wouldn’t let her go. It’s one thing encouraging her to believe what she wants to believe, but quite another encouraging her to believe what her friend’s family believe.

TooleyVanDooley · 28/01/2020 23:14

Sounds like a plan

Namechange8471 · 28/01/2020 23:14

No!

PigletJohn · 28/01/2020 23:19

No.

Try to to find out the answer to the equivalent question "I am a Mormon, should I allow my daughter to go to a Cathoic/Evangelical/Spiritualist/Quaker/Methodist church?"

MadamePewter · 28/01/2020 23:21

I wouldn’t let her go if she’s impressionable and easily led, unless you go with her and do different churches/places of worship on different days..? IMO religious organisations can be bad places for vulnerable people (obviously not all of them or all the time) but it is a concern.

Original poster

Grembolina · 29/01/2020 07:39

She seems to think it's a youth group tonight. A few of her friends are going and one of her friends dad's runs it.

I think I will spend a but of time later trying to find out wether it is a sermon or a youth club thing before I make a final decision.

I am happy for her to explore her own beliefs but feel like this would be jumping in at the deep end if it is a conversion / recruitment drive.

OP posts:

Booboostwo · 29/01/2020 07:52

I wouldn't want my DCs to become Mormons or follow any religion, but they do have to make their own choices. At the moment I would suspect that the youth club is the appeal. I'd let her go and as soon as it all looks lovely and friendly, tell her about the other aspects of this religion, e.g. the misogyny, the control, etc.

My DD wanted to go to a Catholic church with her friends, she went and came back saying how lovely everyone seemed. So we talked about how the Catholic church won't allow women to become priests, how it won't marry same sex couples and their homophobia, how they forbid contraception which has led to the death of hundreds of thousands of people from AIDS and finished off with how the church hides pedophiles among its ranks. She was 7yo at the time so we didn't discuss access to abortion, but all that was enough to put her off. If she is interested in an organized religion she needs to know every aspect of it.

kjhkj · 29/01/2020 07:56

Take her to see Book of Mormon (okay perhaps 12 is a little young ). It's basically a cult, albeit based on the christian faith. Do not let her go.

ChocoChunk1 · 29/01/2020 08:01

My dd is 13. If I was faced with the same situation, I'd contact the church to find out more. If I wasn't happy, I'd say no.

The Mormons have had a big problem with child abuse (like many religions) so I would be cautious.

Spam88 · 29/01/2020 08:02

Well this is all a bit of an over reaction. It's not a cult, just let her go.

Sirzy · 29/01/2020 08:04

Are you able to go with her?

I think banning her from going could well be counterproductive so exploring it with her is better

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 29/01/2020 08:05

I would be very wary of sending a12yo to a church without supervision.

My friend's son (adult, mid 20s) is quite religious whereas my friend (middle aged man) is not.

Son moved and friend agreed to attend a social event at son's new church, which even by son's standards was quite full-on. Church is mainstream religion, but a modern interpretation.

Friend found the event to be almost cult-like. Regular members were "assigned" to visitors to try and inculcate the ideas of the church and he said it was all very overwhelming - loud music and singing, even special effects when speakers were on stage, members all singing and dancing, almost bewitched by it. Friend said it felt like a concert in parts!

He came away feeling quite exhausted by it all and he hopes his son will not stay there as he has some worries about where it all ends.

kjhkj · 29/01/2020 08:10

Mormons believe that 200 years ago an American named Joseph Smith was visited by God and directed to golden tablets conveniently buried in new york but which also conveniently nobody has ever seen which told them a "different" version of christianity. They have very strict rules about how to live their lives.

Its a cult - but then given that most religions started this way at some point you could also call it a religion.

CherryPavlova · 29/01/2020 08:12

I am a practicing Catholic so not anti religious at all but I’d try not to encourage my children towards the Church of Latter Day Saints. I’m sure most families are quite moderate in their beliefs, particularly in U.K. but the church continues to use Evangelical approach to control lives. Some aspects appeal - living kindly ad a strong sense of community but the risk far outweighs the benefits, in my world.

Dissent and debate is not accepted. Buy yourself a copy of Secret Ceremonies:A Mormon Woman Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond.
Homosexuality is not tolerated.
Dissenters are excommunicated.
Very young women are forced into marriage with much older men.

Spinrek · 29/01/2020 08:12

Maybe make a slight 'game' of it? Go, but see if she notices any recruitment attempts?
I'd be telling her in no uncertain terms that they are a religion that are very keen to get her to sign up, as it were, and the contract is very strict and binding.

codenameduchess · 29/01/2020 08:15

I attended a friends Mormon church at around the same age, after not having any religion growing up (well, my mum claimed to be CofE but never went to church, she was just told everyone needed a religion and all others were evil 🤷🏼‍♀️)

I found the church pleasant enough, services a bit odd but no one tried to 'recruit' me. The people were lovely, but I understand that varies from congregation to congregation and you should explain to your dd how it works.

The actual beliefs, the ones LDS/Mormon specific are fucking ludicrous far fetched, if your dd hasn't been brought up hearing it and is able to question things logically to could be an interesting experience for her if it's more than just the youth club she wants to attend.

Serenschintte · 29/01/2020 08:19

If her friend is a Mormon she will be trying to convert your Dd to Mormonism. It’s just the way it works.
My Sister had a really lovely sweet kind friend but she had to stop the friendship because it became relentless- and my sister was a practicing Catholic! Happy with her religion, went to mass every Sunday etc.
So it would be a no from me.

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