Letting DD go to a Mormon church.

[Grembolina]

DD has asked if she can go to church with her friends family tomorrow. She told me the area the church is in and I know there is ab evangelical church there who do lots of youth clubs and what not so I assumed it was that one.

I just googled it to check and the church she is actually talking about is a Mormon church.

I don't hold any faith, but have no problem with her believing if she wants to but am ai right in thinking Mormons are very serious in their beliefs and quite strict?

Is this something I should be discouraging?

Hi! I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, so hopefully I'll be able to shed some light on this for you.

Youth (usually on Tuesday) nights are get-togethers of the youth of the church, friends are invited and welcomed. Activities can be different every week, but tend to be fun with a purposeful activity (rather than just hanging around). For example, over the last few weeks the kids at my local church have made pizza, played mini-golf with holes they had designed themselves out of cardboard and pipes, and done yoga and quizzes.

Religiously speaking, they started and finished with a prayer, by which I mean everyone stood around while one person offered a 30 second prayer saying thanks for the activity and please help everyone get home safely (etc).

The activities will be different every week, so one night they might be playing hockey, but then the next week they might be working on a more spiritually-focussed goal or doing a service activity. When my kids want to invite friends, they usually pick and choose (so say "tonight it's football, can we invite Billy") etc. The aim is to help them have friendships and a nice time, but also to help their spirituality, so there will be a balance of activities.

I can understand how anyone who only knew the church by reputation would be hesitant, truly. The common assumptions are clear to see on this thread. I've found 'youth' to be really positive and constructive, they just have a good time, they're supervised, no-one drinks or smokes, the adults are clued-up on safeguarding and the activities are pretty wholesome and fun. They seem to get the good part of tween/teenage friendships without the pressure they're under at school, if that makes sense.

If you have any questions, please feel free to pm me :)

Casually get her to listen to A Study in Scarlet.

My DF was a member of the Mormon church when I was a teenager. It was great fun, family centred. I would have no reservation about my D.C. going there. I fondly remember the BBQs and family days out. The elders telling cowboy stories whilst cooking popcorn, the gunfight always coincided with the sound of the corn popping.

No.
As lovely as the people there may be and how 'normal' a lot of them seem they are essentially a cult and they prey on the vulnerable.
A night at a youth club will draw her in and she'll be made to think it's all fantastic, then the grooming will begin.
I speak from experience.

The Mormon church is very evangelical. It also has a very concerning history with women and racial issues. I'd be very uncomfortable with this personally.

Hi! I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, so hopefully I'll be able to shed some light on this for you.

Has a bat signal gone out or something?

This actually made me laugh, when I was 14 my friends mum became a morman, we went along to church a few times for fun! It was a new experience. Nothing sinister, no one tried to recruit us. We went along, shamelessly because we fancied the young elders who were here from America 🙈 they have tourh groups etc but it is just youth clubs. Obviously looking back it wasnt appropriate to go but we have good memories and laugh now as adults. For the record I have no beliefs in any god and never have done. To be honest her mum joined because she got to meet the Osmond 😂😂

The activities described sound lovely @SpendAPennyPenny, but as @SilentAndQuietLight says, that is how you are drawn in and that is what worries me.

As it is a youth night would I be able to join her or is it young people only?

There are 3 non Mormon friends going along and the friend whose Dad runs it.

I was brought up as a Mormon (until they chucked me out) and had a friend that came out with us a couple of times when we were roughly your daughters age. They didn't try and convert my friend until she had been a couple of times. They are always looking for new members. When I turned 12 I was taught the woman's place is to find a nice returned missionary, and get married as quickly as possible. I would advise against letting her go. The Mormons seem very nice from a far, but it is not the case once you are a member.

Just read you last message. The youth group is how they suck the teenagers in, because it is all fun activities. Then they will be pressured to get taught by the missionaries, and then to be baptised.

No fucking way

The activities described sound lovely

Of course that do...so do those drinks and vouchers they dish out for those timeshare pitches.

Bobbly - no bat signal, I'm just on MN and saw the thread title.

OP why don't you give the dad a call and ask him about the details? I'm sure he'd say it was completely fine for you to stay.

Hmm. At that age, my friends and I regularly got cornered when we were in town by Jehovah's witnesses and right-winged evangelicals. We must've looked impressionable because we were too scared to say no thanks. Not much happened other than being told unless we did x y z, we'd go to hell, did we want that etc. When we eventually got away, nothing happened except us saying thank god we weren't involved in that. I guess I'd be worried they'd pressure your daughter into going/converting etc. To me, it's a bit cult-ish.

Some misconceptions here... the missionaries don't routinely go to youth activities, I've never been offered a timeshare (what?! ) and yes someone might say "hey why don't you come on Sunday sometime" because they're friendly and church means a lot to them. If that happened they would respect the answer either way. I agree with startrek's points about parent consent and respect.

No the missionaries don't go out to the youth activities, but once you have gone to a few of them you are asked about Sunday. There you will meet the 18-21 year old boys that could "teach you" about the teachings of the church.

Name change fail obvs.

You need bums on seats to begin your sales pitch and to do that you need to entice your audience in.

Whether you are pitching a shitty holiday or a religion, you use the same techniques. Drinks and vouchers for suckers in the sunshine, cheap child activities to entertain bored kids and financially strained parents if you are pitching for their mind.

Even if it’s a youth club type event, there will still be a huge emphasis on the teachings of Latter Day Saints. And lots of young girls of impressionable ages can easily get talked into joining the church when there’s young attractive American boys (missionaries) who’s ultimate end goal is to baptize you. I know this because I was one of those young girls too until my parents intervened.

My son actually has a book of Mormon (purely for costuming purposes though, it's his favourite show.

I would be very wary of allowing your daughter to go. They seem very nice people but have some very strange ideas.

I wouldn't be happy with it op.

As a teenager I must say, I would have been drawn in by the oh so mature and sophisticated missionary boys.

I think this is one that I will have to put my foot down on. They can go to the cinema or out shopping instead with this friend, or have a sleepover here.

By saying No myself it takes the pressure off her being made to go along with it.

I wouldn't be happy about it, no. I absolutely believe that 'youth groups' (in any religion to be balanced about it) are planned and executed for the sole purpose of recruiting new members.

I am/was a Catholic. I don't agree with most of it so I don't 'practice'. There's nobody trying to get me 'back into the fold' or ex-communicating me (or maybe I've not noticed?). Anyway, that's the point really. Any organisation that you cannot freely walk away from, without let or hindrance, is a very bad thing.

You might as well let her go along to a dianetics session.

I wouldn’t allow it either, and I’ve quite a few family members that are Mormon and I’ve been to a number of their (male is the boss and women should stay at home and do as they’re told) weddings and other events.
It is a cult, it meets all the criteria to be labelled thus, alth most UK wards are far more down to earth than the extremist versions in USA, but I still would t allow my child to go to anything they ran

There's been Mormons and JWs in my family. My concern with these churches is the consequences for people walking away after baptism. I don't know how universal the experience is, but the JWs were much tougher when one relative left and had the audacity to co-habit with a partner. They were actively shunned by the "community" I'm not sure how strict Mormons are about these things.

Mormons have a more appealing, enticing social scene and are more "fun" albeit without the infuence of caffine. These types of churches do have an effect on the details of how you live your life in a "normal" way. This is where they can be problematic to young people going in to adulthood.

The Mormons I knew were lovely, but I'm glad that I wasn't baptised into their church. I say that as a Christian with a comfortable life with a CoE church where I have the freedom to have my own beliefs that are not necessarily those of the leaders of the church.

It's fine and healthy to be critical of organisations. That's different to being offensive towards beliefs.