Threated by my wife's children

[Wubbythewub]

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I got married 2 years ago. My wife has 4 kids and it's honestly a living hell. Her 14 year old son calls her a cow and tells her to fuck off on a regular basis. About 6 months ago he kicked his 16 year old sister and best her up. The 20 year old son then started to fight with the 14 year old since he hit the sister. My wife was screaming for them to stop and I went to see what was going on. I told them to stop fighting and to go to there rooms. The 14 year old boy called his older brother who is 29 who cones up ever weekend to stay the both sleep in the same bed which I don't agree with...the 29 year old boy came up to sort the 20 year old out as the 14 year old boy tells lies. When the 29 year old boy came into the house I says I would like a can't with him he told me to fuck off I says get out my house he says fuck off I says if you don't get out I'm calling the police he them attacked me choking me at the throat. My wife pleaded with me not to call the police as she says it will make things worse. I left the house for a week but she called me and says she will deal with it in future. The 29 year old still comes up every weekend staying Friday to Sunday and sleeps in the same bed as the 14 year old. The 14 year old has told me to fuck off as I've challenged him how he speaks to his mother I've spoke to my wife concerning this but her answer is "what can I do" but she rewards him by buying him expensive clothes etc.mthe other day £120 trainers we're bought for him, the same morning he called her a cow and stupid idiot. He throws things around the house. I am at breaking point if I try to do the right things I'm made out I'm being unreasonable but i don't want this anymore as there will be a blood bath i think. I've been told by the 14 year old he will stab me. The 20 year old pays no dig money and he has total disregard for the house

Where's the dad in all of this?

How very like the home life of our own dear Queen.

Eh?

Yikes, what a nightmare!
Where does the 29 live the rest of the week?
Does the 20yo work?
Is the 14yo the favourite?
Is the 16yo girl getting any attention from her parents?

🤔

Surely you knew all this before you got married?

Yes the 20 year old works as a joiner. The 29 year old lives 30 miles away he has his own house. Yes the 16 year old is a well rounded individual. Yes the 14 year old is the favourite. Can do no wrong. The 14 year old draws pictures of penises all over the house as well.

29 year olds aren’t boys. HTH.

Who did you marry? Mimi Maguire?

I wouldn't be able to live like this. Time for a serious conversation with your DW. Agree what boundaries and compromises are fair and acceptable from all members of the family.

And I'd also be mentally preparing myself to end the relationship.

You have no problem with your step children. You have a wife problem. You cannot make anyone change or expect them to change. You can only change how you react to it.

Move out and move on with your life.

If I were you I'd leave because I can't be arsed with shit like that. Maybe that's just me, I like an easy life.

he kicked his 16 year old sister and beat her up

This is the most worrying thing that stands out for me. Why were the police not called - this is assault. Is anyone protecting this girl from what sounds like a very disturbed young man.

???

Excellent

You need to get the police to risk assess a 16 year old girl for DV, is what you need to do.

Leave the bastard lot of them.

So all three of your step sons are violent.
Your wife and your step daughter are on the receiving end of this violence.

Your wife isn't protecting your step daughter.

Either take real action. Police etc. Or walk away.

Shame Jeremy Kyles gone off the air.

I’d leave but like a PP said I like an easy life.

You need to leave and report to the relevant authorities. Police and social services.

A 29 year old should not be sharing a bed with a 14 year old. Even if they are brothers thats quite inappropriate except for the odd emergency.

The 29 year old has attacked you, I understand why your wife would not want you to phone the police, but I still think you should consider it. At any rate, he should not be back in the house, and you need to work with your wife to ensure that.

I have a very bad feeling about the 14 year old son's wellbeing.

Was the step childrens' father violent? Are they following his model? If your wife won't let you deal with this leaving seems the best option. The sixteen year old and 14 year old need protecting.