Threated by my wife's children

[Wubbythewub]

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I got married 2 years ago. My wife has 4 kids and it's honestly a living hell. Her 14 year old son calls her a cow and tells her to fuck off on a regular basis. About 6 months ago he kicked his 16 year old sister and best her up. The 20 year old son then started to fight with the 14 year old since he hit the sister. My wife was screaming for them to stop and I went to see what was going on. I told them to stop fighting and to go to there rooms. The 14 year old boy called his older brother who is 29 who cones up ever weekend to stay the both sleep in the same bed which I don't agree with...the 29 year old boy came up to sort the 20 year old out as the 14 year old boy tells lies. When the 29 year old boy came into the house I says I would like a can't with him he told me to fuck off I says get out my house he says fuck off I says if you don't get out I'm calling the police he them attacked me choking me at the throat. My wife pleaded with me not to call the police as she says it will make things worse. I left the house for a week but she called me and says she will deal with it in future. The 29 year old still comes up every weekend staying Friday to Sunday and sleeps in the same bed as the 14 year old. The 14 year old has told me to fuck off as I've challenged him how he speaks to his mother I've spoke to my wife concerning this but her answer is "what can I do" but she rewards him by buying him expensive clothes etc.mthe other day £120 trainers we're bought for him, the same morning he called her a cow and stupid idiot. He throws things around the house. I am at breaking point if I try to do the right things I'm made out I'm being unreasonable but i don't want this anymore as there will be a blood bath i think. I've been told by the 14 year old he will stab me. The 20 year old pays no dig money and he has total disregard for the house

At almost 30yrs old and 20yrs old, im a bit confused about why both are not only allowed in and out the house to visit with preferential treatment beyond your status... but why do they get to live in the house and cause violence, damage etc?

The 14yr old sounds very troubled, school and yourselves should be working closely to help him. And the 16tr old girl... well there’s not much written about her except that she’s a victim of violence and this is normalised in your household.

Oh dear, poor you...

Having given a long reply above, I’m now thinking on and can’t help asking... The only thing I can think is, is this the circumstances of a family in a soap opera? I am sadly out of touch...

Polyethyl's analysis seems spot on given what you've written.

Get out and call pest control

I'm not sure why the OP is getting lots of sarky replies? It seems quite inappropriate given the post itself.

Why on earth have you married into this utter mess? It's enough to keep a team of psychiatrists and social workers occupied for years. Maybe it has done. It's so chaotic that any intervention you attempt is unlikely to improve matters. Leave.

I'm not sure why the OP is getting lots of sarky replies? It seems quite inappropriate given the post itself.

Are you new here?

This will not end. They sound quite dysfunctional and I suspect that a new man being in the house just antagonises the 14 and 20 year old lads.

I think you need to accept that you cannot make this work. You can’t control them. They won’t listen to you and frankly they don’t have to. You are not their father. Move out. End it. You will feel so much better once it’s over.

What do you get out of the relationship that makes it worth it? Because it would have to be a helluva lot to put up with that. Leave, don't go back.

I am not new here. I don't understand why the sarky replies either, it sounds like an absolute nightmare. Clearly MN isn't the place to ask for advice.

I think OP has been given some good advice. It’s sounds like a fucking nightmare, if I were him I’d take the advice and run fast.

I agree about calling the police and social services. That poor girl.