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Original poster

Does everyone have people close to school to collect in emergency?

68 replies

99problemsandthecatis1 · 28/01/2020 14:43

Not a TAT but based on a comment someone made.

One poster suggested that people who work far from their child's school would surely have someone local as an emergency contact. Is this true?

DS starts school in September, both DH and I work full time and even if I were to leave my desk immediately it would take 30 minutes to get to school, but more realistically 45 to an hour as I'd have to talk to my boss, cancel meetings etc. DH is at the mercy of trains so could be there in 15 or it could be an hour or more depending on the time. He then couldn't get the DC home again due to lack of transport. We don't live near family and all our friends work full time as well.

What do people do? The kids are in childcare currently and on the 2 occasions I've had to collect they've just had to wait which nursery seem fine with but are schools different? This has actually got me slightly worried.

OP posts:
veryvery · 28/01/2020 14:48

That's reasonable. You'd just get there as soon as you could. There are lots of people in your position. Police officers, surgeons, nurses etc. Not everyone has two parents, either. And the school can not dictate to you on this. Your child still has the right to an education.

TeenPlusTwenties · 28/01/2020 14:48

I think what you will need to do when DS starts is cultivate friendships at the schoolgate. Find a parent/grandparent who would be willing to be the third emergency contact for you in an emergency. Hopefully it would never be needed but it could give peace of mind.

(In adoption terms its called 'having a support network'.)

Elbeagle · 28/01/2020 14:50

I’m a SAHM but that doesn’t mean I am literally at home all day. Last time I had a call from school it took me an hour to get there as I was in a city 45 mins away and had to get back to my car etc. It’s fine, you get there as soon as you can.

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Orangecatfish · 28/01/2020 14:51

My lo’s school accepts it takes me time to get home. There is no one that I would trust to help with lo.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/01/2020 14:55

Our school told us we 'had to' have people on the emergency sheet. We didn't and I pointed out that there were refugee families at the school and since their families were in Syria and Libya maybe it was a bit shit to 'expect' it. I'm that parent.

You eventually make a network.

veryvery · 28/01/2020 14:56

And if you don't want to discuss with school just put one of your friends (that is acquainted with your child) down as a third contact in the contact form. The school could probably get hold of at least one of you. They won't ask questions based on the information you give.

TheLongDarkBreakfastTime · 28/01/2020 14:56

I do have one set of local grandparents, but if they were ill / unavailable and it was that urgent, my back up plan from central London is to get in a taxi and put it on a credit card, not to faff around with trains / tubes. Or to meet child plus teacher at A&E, if that’s where they need to be.

I don’t think a poorly DC would be happy going with a random mum-of-a-friend, at least, mine wouldn’t. They’d be happier being looked after by the nice office ladies at school.

veryvery · 28/01/2020 14:59

I honestly reckon this situation is the same for most people. They just don't explicitly discuss it with the school. Our primary even evacuated the school once due to a water leak. The head was really complaining they couldn't get hold of half the parents for ages. Par for the course tbh!

VivaDixie · 28/01/2020 15:00

I think your arrangement is fine. My eldest is just at the end of Y6 and I have never needed a 3rd contact. Both DH and I work an hour door to door and on the rare occasions we are needed the school have been fine about keeping DC back an hour 👍

VivaDixie · 28/01/2020 15:00

I second getting a network together when DC start school. It will come together pretty quickly Smile

Original poster
99problemsandthecatis1 · 28/01/2020 15:01

Don't get me wrong, we have friends who have looked after DS and we have looked after theirs, but I couldn't reasonably expect them to leave work to care for him, though to be fair they all work as far away as me and DH.

Even if DH took a cab it'd be 45minutes by the time he'd left work etc.

The third contact at nursery is my mum but she's 1hr 30 away in reasonable traffic if she's home and not at work and leaves immediately.

OP posts:
Original poster
99problemsandthecatis1 · 28/01/2020 15:03

There won't be an opportunity for a network at school. It's a very small school attached to the current nursery. There'll be 14 in DSs class, I already know all the parents!

OP posts:
veryvery · 28/01/2020 15:03

I second getting a network together when DC start school. It will come together pretty quickly

Might happen. Might not. I never did have this mythical 'network'. I was friendly with the other parents but not that close only for quick chats.

ExpletiveDelighted · 28/01/2020 15:04

We put grandparents (who are half an hour away and busy) but it was never needed. In all the time they were at primary school we only got called to collect once. I did develop a good network of friends at the school but never heard anyone discuss doing this for each other.

veryvery · 28/01/2020 15:05

The third contact at nursery is my mum but she's 1hr 30 away in reasonable traffic if she's home and not at work and leaves immediately.

That's fine. It would do if for some reason both you and your DH were unavailable.

dameofdilemma · 28/01/2020 15:08

We have lots of parent friends made through nursery and school.... they're all at work too....

Cuppaand2biscuits · 28/01/2020 15:09

Your arrangements are perfectly reasonable and the school will understand. The teachers are as stuck at there jobs as anyone else and understand that you have to tie up loose ends before you leave. A teacher can't walk straight out of a class to go and collect their poorly child so they understand that you might be an hour.

ItIsAllChange · 28/01/2020 15:11

My parents are around 45 mins away from DCs’ school and that’s assuming they are home. Other grandparents are a couple of hours away.

At a push there are a few mums I could ask a favour of if needed but that would only be if they needed collecting at the close of school time rather than early. I don’t understand how all these extra emergency contacts have enough car seats to pick up children at short notice either. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Doingitforhim · 28/01/2020 15:11

How times have changed! When I was at school (when God was a boy) our school was closed when the boiler broke. We were all just turned out of the gates! My parents were both working and I had a key, but I just went to town and went ice skating with my mates!

CMOTDibbler · 28/01/2020 15:14

We've never had anyone. Didn't make a network at school at that sort of level, and no family to help. We try not to both be too far away, but there have certainly been days when we are both 2 hours away during the school day for work. Fortunatly ds is now 13 and has managed to not do anything time critical on those days

NoSquirrels · 28/01/2020 15:17

As long as you & DH have jobs in which you are contactable and could leave to collect if needed (so you can have a mobile on you and can rearrange meetings i.e. you’re not a surgeon in an operating theatre or a long-distance truck driver) then most schools will be fine.

Ours insisted on a contact with 30 minutes of school when we were in the same situation- both working at least an hour’s commute away, no local family etc - we used our old childminder but quite honestly as she had her own commitments it could easily have taken her more than 30 minutes to get there. It never was an issue.

It’s not being contactable and unable to leave your job at short notice that is an issue really - if they know you’re on the way they’ll wait, if you say you can’t collect for 2+ hours they’ll be somewhat irritated. For true proper emergencies they’ll take the DC to a hospital ASAP and you meet them there.

Russell19 · 28/01/2020 15:21

Your 30 minutes is fine honestly. There will be people who would take hours.

It's great if there is someone close but as a pp said even SAHM sometimes would take over 30 minutes to get to school if out shopping or doing something.

The most important thing is that school always have a way to keep you informed and contact you. A child once lost consciousness in my class and nobody on the contacts was even picking up the phone. The poor child had to go in and ambulance and be in hospital with no family, just a member of staff. The parent turned up at normal home time and hadn't looked at their phone all day and were then told where their child was....

ItIsAllChange · 28/01/2020 15:24

How times have changed! When I was at school (when God was a boy) our school was closed when the boiler broke. We were all just turned out of the gates! My parents were both working and I had a key, but I just went to town and went ice skating with my mates!

I think that would still be appropriate for an older child now, and many children do bus/walk to and from school but others live a long way away that isn’t walkable with no public transport or are much too young to be able to leave unattended. I think years ago everyone went to their local school whereas that just isn’t the case anymore.

Grasspigeons · 28/01/2020 15:31

Your plans are fine. 2 parents who can get there as quick as 45 mins if it seems serious and a back up 1 hour 30 away if you cant be contacted.

The most likely reason your child will go home is a high temp that you probably knew about in the morning but thought it would be ok so you will already know who is best to go pick them up.
The second is vomitting which is a surprise normally.
The least likely but more serious is they need to seek further medical care - eg a potential break or possibly needing stiches. In this scenario your child will want you and you will want to be there - so you will get that taxi.

eurochick · 28/01/2020 15:53

@Doingitforhim presumably you weren't 4 when this happened...

We live on the outskirts of london and both work in the City so we would be at least an hour away. It's possible the nanny we use for wrap around care would be available and closer but that won't always be the case. Given the location I expect a lot of families will be in a similar situation with both parents in central London during the working day.