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Does everyone have people close to school to collect in emergency?

68 replies

99problemsandthecatis1 · 28/01/2020 14:43

Not a TAT but based on a comment someone made.

One poster suggested that people who work far from their child's school would surely have someone local as an emergency contact. Is this true?

DS starts school in September, both DH and I work full time and even if I were to leave my desk immediately it would take 30 minutes to get to school, but more realistically 45 to an hour as I'd have to talk to my boss, cancel meetings etc. DH is at the mercy of trains so could be there in 15 or it could be an hour or more depending on the time. He then couldn't get the DC home again due to lack of transport. We don't live near family and all our friends work full time as well.

What do people do? The kids are in childcare currently and on the 2 occasions I've had to collect they've just had to wait which nursery seem fine with but are schools different? This has actually got me slightly worried.

OP posts:
EssexGurl · 28/01/2020 15:57

No - we don’t! When DS was small school phoned for me to collect him (for something v minor imo). I was told I had to be there within half an hour - I couldn’t get there for 45 mins and told them that. They were not happy but nothing I could do - no family close.

Now looking at secondaries. Lots of kids go to grammar a good hour away on coach. Not quite sure what they expect parents to do who are already an hour away and potentially more depending on where they work.

KittenVsBox · 28/01/2020 16:04

Nope. Got to Y6, through 3 different primaries, and never put a third contact down.
Yes, I have called a friend and begged a favour (to collect the none ill child from childcare before 6pm), but honestly, there is noone here I would ask to leave work to collect a child of mine - and I dont know any SAHMs (except now me)

RatherBeRiding · 28/01/2020 16:14

Well if there isn't anyone - then there isn't anyone! You can't magic a third emergency contact out of thin air if there is no-one so schools just have to suck it up. Even a SAHP might be stuck somewhere away from the house with no phone signal.

And if they do get hold of you and say you have to be there within 30 minutes and you can't get there for an hour and a half - what is the school going to do? Use their initiative!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

BaronessBomburst · 28/01/2020 16:15

I didn't. And only do now because DS is 9 and I know enough of the other parents to ask for help. Once I got stuck after a broken down lorry blocked the exit from the industrial estate where I work. I phoned the school who just kept him in the staff room until I arrived. He made himself useful dusting the shelves. Grin
My back-up plan was the nursery/ day care/ after-school club in the building opposite the school. They said they'd always take him in case of emergency and the school knew to send him there.
These days he just has a key.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 28/01/2020 16:16

@Russell19

"The most important thing is that school always have a way to keep you informed and contact you. A child once lost consciousness in my class and nobody on the contacts was even picking up the phone. The poor child had to go in and ambulance and be in hospital with no family, just a member of staff. The parent turned up at normal home time and hadn't looked at their phone all day and were then told where their child was...."

I have to respectfully disagree on this point. It is very unfortunate for this child, and the fact that the parents couldn't be contacted. However it is wholly unreasonable to expect people to be constantly checking their phone for these kind of events that are not overly likely.

I'm sure the parent felt awful for their child, and terribly embarrassed, but we are allowed to attend occasions where phones aren't allowed, or our phone battery runs out, or we even forget the phone (or it is broken). In those scenarios, you would assume your other contacts could be reached (although you have no way of checking).

This stuff happens. Parents or contacts may be unreachable.

I was a single parent for years. So no other contacts. I have no support network to speak of. Friends came and went, mostly proved unable to cope with my asd/adhd child. So I was more vigilant with my phone checking (which made me paranoid all the time, feeling like I had this constant online presence every time I turned the screen on to check - why wasn't I responding to messages?!). But there were still days where my battery died, or I forgot my phone etc.

Now I have a boyfriend, so he is added on to the contact list. However as a teacher himself, he is an hour away, and not able to drop everything instantly, so it would be maybe 90 mins until he reached school.

I do work locally, but as a midwife, sometimes it will take me an hour to organise relief, or to pass work over. In a true emergency, I know my colleagues would rally around, but as I deal in life and death scenarios, it would have to be a serious scenario for this to happen.

It did actually happen once, but my child was at home, with a nanny I employed at the time. She was putting him to bed, when he held his breath and stopped breathing. He went blue and she called 999. He came round quickly, but obviously I needed to get home to him as an ambulance was on it's way. My colleagues did indeed take over my labouring woman. I did however have to return to work when I knew he was well a few hours later to complete paperwork as these are legal documents that shouldn't be done that far in retrospect.

Parents have to work. There really isn't anything else to it. It is good if you have support. But many do not, so have to make do with mostly a wish and a prayer 🤷.

FlashingFedora · 28/01/2020 16:27

Yes I do. My parents are retired and live 2 mins from the school. I have a job where I can't necessarily leave quickly and am a LP. However in 7 years I have never been called to collect, just phonecalls to let me know of the many bumps to the head/cut lips etc.

FrangipaniBlue · 28/01/2020 16:40

DS primary was in the same town where we, PILs, my Dad and other close friends and family members all live so in theory there was always someone who could be there in 10/15 minutes.

But his secondary is about 45 minutes on a good run, realistically we're all about an hour away

mindutopia · 28/01/2020 16:41

I would say 15 minutes to an hour is close. I mean unless there was some serious (and highly unlikely) accident resulting in dc being air ambulanced to hospital, I can’t see why anyone would need to be there in 10 minutes.

Dh and I generally try to have one of us be close (within an hour or a bit) on any given day. My office is 3 hours from home/school (I travel in 3 days a week). Dh’s business is about 15 minutes from school, but even in an emergency, it would take him 30 minutes total to close up and get there as for safety reasons he can’t just leave it and walk out. If one of us is far (me at the office or Dh travelling), the other wouldn’t commit to anything more than 1-1.5 hours from home.

If there was anything truly urgent, I’d trust the school to be level headed and handle it til one of us got there. We do have emergency contacts, but the closest lives 2 hours away, so they could make decisions in our absence but they couldn’t get there any faster.

Russell19 · 28/01/2020 16:42

@ThisMustBeMyDream you can disagree but in no way would I be comfortable leaving my child without knowing I could be contacted in emergencies.

I understand people's battery can die etc and that's a one off but if you work in a job where you can't have your phone (like you) surely there's a way you could be contacted through an office number or reception? Alternatively you have other back up phone numbers.

To me that's just a no brainer?

danadas · 28/01/2020 16:49

I have my parents who are relatively close but don't drive so they are an hour away by two buses and a walk (but closer to the hospital in a real emergency).

If you are in court or similar you wouldn't be looking at your phone for hours on end or have any real quick way of being contacted.

Twice a week I am 3.5 hours from home but OH would usually be within an hour from school.

MissusMaker · 28/01/2020 16:50

I'm a SAHM and usually I could be at school within 5 mins but I might decide to go to our nearest big town with is 45mins away for lunch or whatever, and then I could easily be a 15min walk away from my car in said town meaning that it would take me at least an hour to get to school. And that's just me going for a jolly, not even work! I don't think you need to worry.

PatellarTendonitis · 28/01/2020 16:53

One poster suggested that people who work far from their child's school would surely have someone local as an emergency contact. Is this true?

No. Anytime someone says something like 'surely' you can tell it's going to be one of those narrow-minded people who believe everyone has the exact same life experience as they have. It's usually right up there with the outdated paradigm that everyone has 'family and friends' who can provide all sorts of services to them including a ready supply of cash in hard times and childcare.

deareloise · 28/01/2020 16:56

Don’t worry about it, is my advice.

Primary schools forget parents work, which is odd given they all work!

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 · 28/01/2020 16:58

Nope. Me and DH work full time, I'm often a couple of hours away, DH is 30 mins IF he can leave immediately.

In laws still work full time and no other family.

DD is in year 1, I say hi to a couple of parents but use breakfast and after school clubs so haven't had the opportunity to do play dates or build a network.

So far we've not been called out to collect, but if we were they would have to wait for DH to be able to get there.

Hoppit · 28/01/2020 16:59

I work in a school. We are very understanding of people's circumstances and we know parents can't always get to us quickly. We do ask that someone can be reached on case of real emergency though. We have two parents, one a doctor, who have agreed to give us numbers of colleagues on the understanding that they are only contacted for a real emergency, e.g. ambulance called.
Poorly children wait in class though. There is barely room in our office for the staff, let alone sick children!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 28/01/2020 16:59

To put things into perspective... My DDs went to our catchment school, 25 minutes drive away. The primary catchment had DC up to 49mins away.

The secondary catchment... The school bus took 90mins on a good traffic day. It could take parents over 2hrs to get there.

okiedokieme · 28/01/2020 17:01

30 mins is normal, if it's likely to be an hour then it's good to have a plan b. I had the situation when I wasn't even in the country and the school called (they had a sitter who was coming that evening, they were 13&15 at the time) that didn't go down well! Schools just don't like being responsible for ill kids longer than necessary (I ordered an Uber for my dd in the above situation, she was 2 weeks off turning 16 so hardly a young kid)

itsgettingweird · 28/01/2020 17:02

I work 10 minutes from ds school. But that's just co incidence rather than planned.

I don't have anyone else either. Both my parents are around at certain times but both have cancer and chemo so cannot collect an ill child in an emergency.

I'm the same re leaving though. I have to wait for cover for class.

AnnaMariaDreams · 28/01/2020 17:03

My parents are local so often could collect easily. They go on a lot of holidays though!
I don’t work Monday or Friday so can collect then no problem.
DH is the contact the other 3 days as I don’t have access to my phone at work except lunchtime.
DH would be between 15 minutes and an hour away depending on where he’s working.
I think collecting within an hour to an hour and a half would be reasonable?

ShinyGiratina · 28/01/2020 17:07

When DS started school, I was working FT teaching so contact was a bit long winded via messages through the school office across the school site. Despite being 20 minutes away travel time, I wouldn't have had much change out of an hour by the time logistics were sorted to be able to leave and get to school.

DH works away a lot. He might be 20 mins away in the office. He might be on another continent.

No grandparents within 200 miles. Nearest relative is elderly and couldn't transport herself to our county.

There was no support network because I didn't see any other parents to build one as DS was the last child to be picked up every day to maximise my time to plan/ mark efficiently without the distraction of young children. Actually, it was more meetings, pointless admin and phoning parents and not much actual useful teaching work! My other local friends all work FT.

Fortunately the one time DS did need picking up while I still worked, was during a twilight INSET and I was easy to find in the hall and able to leave straight away.

Now I'm a SAHM. I could be an hour away half-way through a long run. I have got contact with other parents, but that's something very difficult for FT working parents to develop. I did once have to call in a favour when my 1hr round trip to the shops turned into a 5+hr ordeal on a shut motorway and crawling back through a gridlocked region.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 28/01/2020 17:18

"...you can disagree but in no way would I be comfortable leaving my child without knowing I could be contacted in emergencies.

I understand people's battery can die etc and that's a one off but if you work in a job where you can't have your phone (like you) surely there's a way you could be contacted through an office number or reception? Alternatively you have other back up phone numbers.

To me that's just a no brainer?"

I am a community midwife currently so I do have my mobile phone on me. There wouldn't be another number to contact me on unless I am in GP clinics. My work phone doesn't work (been waiting 6 months for a new one). I am generally contactable on my work days though as I am regularly using my personal phone for work related reasons.

However, I am talking about my non work days in the vast majority of my reply. Some days I may need to go to the city an hour away for errands. Or I may book a massage that means for an hour I am uncontactable. That's life though. There are times when people simply aren't glued to their phones (thank goodness).

MistyIsland · 28/01/2020 17:45

I could be 5 mins or an hour and a half away depending on my work schedule 🤷‍♀️

Dh isn’t allowed his phone at work so only checks on breaks. And he’s at least 40 mins away.

My mum & dad both work and again not always locally - so it’s whoever they get hold of first and who is closer.

Don’t have anyone else I could ask.

Only time I’ve ever been phoned I was off work anyway (my last day of unused annual leave was looking forward to a day of pottering and online shopping 😭) so was able to pick up within 10 mins.

That’s once in 5 years.

TwoZeroTwoZero · 28/01/2020 17:46

If I'm home I'm 5 minutes away. If I'm working I'm unable to answer the phone and am in a different place every day. Dh is about half an hour away. Everyone else works.

Sleepyblueocean · 28/01/2020 17:55

Ds's school is an hour away so even if I am at home it is an hour minimum. If it is a pickup then it could easily be two hours as there needs to be two people who can manage his behaviour, in the car.

Sirzy · 28/01/2020 17:58

I do but only because Ds has a number of health conditions and is now tube fed and if it comes out it needs to be back in ASAP so we need someone trained to get there and if needs be get him to hospital.