I've just found out I'm pregnant (with my first) - Any tips you wish someone had told you?

[RaachelMorrow]

I just found out I'm pregnant over the weekend, and although unplanned, it's now a very wanted baby from myself, daddy, and inner family.

My appointment with the midwife isn't until Friday, but I'm just so scared I'm going to mess this up and we're not even off the starting line yet.

Any first timer advice for someone who's only 6 weeks and just found out? And knows NOTHING about pregnancy? - I've none of my friends or family have been pregnant.

What sort of diet should I be looking at? Just balanced? With Folic Acid & Omega multivitamins?

Thank you so much!

Rachel

Ironically I'd say take what people tell you with a pinch of talk 😂 you'll get lots of advice that is either outdated or doesn't apply to you... There will be some great pearls of wisdom but just always nod and smile then do what's best for you. Don't underestimate your own common sense.

On a practical note for me : I wish I'd eaten less cake so I didn't put on so much weight... Got some maternity leggings earlier which were really comfy, maybe waited before buying some things until the baby came and I wish I'd learned to breastfeed lying down

Pinch of salt not pinch of talk 🙄

First and foremost, start taking a pregnancy multi vitamin asap, most places do their own brand, its everything baby needs. Also, they make some people vomit unless taken with food as per the instructions on the pack (took me ages to work that one out!)

Congratulations!

Try for a balanced diet but if you experience pregnancy sickness then just eat what you can keep down and take a pregnancy supplement. Ginger tea helped me with sickness, but it doesn't work for everyone.

People, including complete strangers, will try and touch your bump when you start showing, and give you all sorts of advice, so be prepared

Sleep. As much as you can. You'll be glad you did

When you get closer to term, stock your freezer with single portions of food that can be eaten one-handed (cottage pie, chili con carne, etc), so you have something nutritious you can eat with a baby slumped over your shoulder

Pregnancy tights / leggings are so comfy, get a few pairs and just live in them!

Until your baby arrives and you get to know him/her there is very limited value in trying to plan things like feeding, sleeping arrangements etc. You might end up with a boob refusenik, or a baby who will only settle in the cot, or only in the Moses basket or on you but you won't know in advance. So by all means think about what you would like to happen, but if it doesn't work out don't get too hung up on it

Start doing pelvic floor exercises NOW. 100 squeezes a day. Got told to do this about a week before due date by the midwife. This was twenty years ago so i had never heard of it. The number of women who had bladder leakage problems after birth is amazing. And you only get to hear about them when discussing birth stories. Maybe it’s much better now. I even had a friend say, she’d have hersecond baby and then get help for her bladder!

Uniqlo leggings are the best.
I lifted weights until the end. Not a single stretch mark, no pelvic floor problems and no diastisis recti. I didn't do any pelvic floor exercises, I did squats and deadlifts!
Vitamin B complex will ease morning sickness.

Buy pregnancy leggings, they're so comfy no matter what size your bump is, start using Bio Oil or something as soon as, it reduced the itching as my skin stretched. Take some pregnancy multivitamins asap. Everything thinks they know best and will most likely tell you what to do and the best way to do things so take it with a pinch of salt and do what is best for you!

Also, don't worry about your diet if, in the first few weeks, the only things you can stomach is sweets or carby things, eat whatever it is you can stomach!

Stock up your freezer with meals for first few months. It's not much harder to cook double portions a few times a week on days when you're feeling OK, and you'll be so glad you did when baby comes. I was.

I wished I'd got some better clothes for breastfeeding in!

Ignore the pregnancy/childbirth horror story's

Name your own baby (with your partner obviously)

Boundaries do not mean no one can see or breathe near the baby for six years they mean no you cant take my baby water skiing/ears pierced first tattoo at age 7

Also they dont need as much stuff as you think and they dont need silence to sleep

I found downloading the Ovia or Bounty app helped me understand what baby was doing each week.
People had bought me booked on pregnancy but it was nice just being able to get a brief snapshot rather than sitting down to ready a big text book.

Congratulations!

Congratulations

The best piece of advice I ever got was - Don't walk around the house in bare feet when there's Lego on the floor, because it really hurts when you tread on it!

If you’re worried about your diet have a look at the NHS website regarding pregnancy and diet. Lots of helpful advice on there including what you can’t eat whilst pregnant

I'm pregnant with first (12 week scan on Friday!!) but I'd say sleep. If you feel like you need to sleep just do it. I was exhausted from about week 7 to 11 and would fall asleep on the sofa most nights.

There's a lovely app called Preggers that could can invite your partner too and it's like a little tracker that updates each week.

Buy things when you want. People criticised us for buying our pram already, but it had 65% off so in our opinion we'd be silly to pass it up when the saving would be going towards other things for baby anyway.

And I'd tell one person you trust (completely up to you, we both told our close friends who'd also be there if something went wrong) because it's so nice to talk and have somebody to be excited about it without it just being your family.

Good luck!

Every pregnancy is different and so much can be 'normal'.

Do your own research and check out a few different places for it.

I really liked having the flo app, it told you how big the baby was each week and how they are developing.

If pregnancy vitamins make you nauseous then you can just take folic acid and vitamin d, they're the essentials and the tablets are much smaller.

Do a big declutter of your house, get organised and sort some storage. It's ridiculous how much space seems to get swallowed up by baby and then toddler and then child stuff.

Talk to your partner now about expectations for the division of labour in terms of childcare and housework. Maternity / paternity / parental leave, does one or both of you want to be a SAHP or work part time, if one of you is going to be sacrificing their earnings for a limited or longer time, how will you (as a couple) protect that person financially, will you get married? Will one or both of you have to make lifestyle changes eg stop smoking or reduce time on a time consuming hobby? These are the kinds of things that can cause arguments, tension, resentment and regret after a child is born, so it's best to discuss your hopes and feelings on it now.

If you are not married, give baby your surname (with or without the father's surname as well).

Ergobaby 360 sling saved my life. It was the only one with a newborn insert and with a wide waist strap and comfy shoulder straps. Dd lived in it til she was nearly 2! Worth every penny.
Also— god forbid but if you think you might have PND please don’t suffer in silence. I did and I was still not myself 3 or 4 years into my baby’s life. It’s ok not to feel ok.

Don't let yourself get hung up on what other people are doing/tell you they did. You will undoubtedly meet other pregnant women who will do things differently and hear stories from family members. Lots of them will think that their way is the only way to do it 'properly' and this will range from bedrest for 9 months to mountaineering until 39 weeks/birthing alone in woodland to hospital birth with every drug available and a cast of thousands to cheer you on . Don't let yourself feel bad for doing what is comfortable for you and ignoring others.
The same applies when the baby is born- what works for you will probably not be what works for your friend/relative/colleague although in my experience lots of people will be keen to tell you what you 'should' be doing. Just smile, ignore and find your own way.

I agree about taking advice with a pinch of salt

Also buy nipple Lanisnoh nipple cream and breast pads (disposable or washable - theirs are the best I found for both).

I used Asda maternity pads and they were amazing and super cheap.

Obviously those things are a long way off for you yet but I didn't know about nipple cream/breast pads and thought sanitary towels would do the job after a couple of days but they didn't!

Oh and accept the bloody second hand stuff!

I refused LOADS because I wanted everything brand new then after about 3 weeks I thought "god I wished I'd accepted those clothes/Muslins etc"

Don't rely on family for childcare if/when you go back to work. If you choose for family to look after the baby then I would recommend you to put it in nursery for at least one day a week, so if you are let down you have a back up plan.

This is a great source of advice about car seats (the FB group is too) and has a list of specialist retailers around the country
www.carseatadvice-uk.com/

BIG knickers for after for the huge pads you wear after.
Don't be embarrassed if you poop yourself in labour I did my husband lied and said I didn't but I know I did when my full memory returned after been high as a kite on gas n air.
Take lip bark for labour you will need it.
Have your birthing plan and hospital bag ready but also be prepared for the plan to go out the window but at least I had my bag when baby came at 36 weeks. Xxx congratulations
And when you hold them after all the pain goes away and worth every minute xx

In my experience, the birth was no where near as bad as I was expecting after what everyone told me so you might be lucky!

When it comes to the birth, try and stay at home as long as you can.

Go with your gut! Everyone will give you advice but you know best!

Don’t discuss baby name ideas with ANYONE other than your OH. You might think it’s a lovely idea to involve your mum/nan/sister/best mate. It’s is not a lovely idea, it’s a very very bad idea.

Also, don’t google too much. My ignorance was bliss during my first pregnancy. 2nd time around I googled far too much and got stressed out about things that weren’t pertinent to me.

Wallow in your first pregnancy. Enjoy (hopefully) being fussed over and cosseted. If everything goes well it can be a blissful time. Subsequent pregnancies aren’t nearly as relaxing, for obvious reasons!

Congratulations and good luck

I white knuckled it through the first 8 weeks - it wasn't until I was about half way through my pregnancy that I started enjoying it. Don't get upset if it takes you a while to adjust!