I've just found out I'm pregnant (with my first) - Any tips you wish someone had told you?

[RaachelMorrow]

I just found out I'm pregnant over the weekend, and although unplanned, it's now a very wanted baby from myself, daddy, and inner family.

My appointment with the midwife isn't until Friday, but I'm just so scared I'm going to mess this up and we're not even off the starting line yet.

Any first timer advice for someone who's only 6 weeks and just found out? And knows NOTHING about pregnancy? - I've none of my friends or family have been pregnant.

What sort of diet should I be looking at? Just balanced? With Folic Acid & Omega multivitamins?

Thank you so much!

Rachel

Congratulations.

Take out family legal cover before you tell your employer. You can add it to your house insurance if you don’t already have it.

Unfortunately 25% of women are discriminated against by their employers who know you won’t be able to afford legal costs. My insurance cost me £23 and when they fired me first day back after maternity leave, I was able to employ a solicitor and was provided with a barrister. Eventually, they paid me a year’s salary rather than show their faces at a tribunal.

When you inform them, do it by email, timed & dated, and blind copy your home email address.

Good luck.

Piles. Just in case, get some anusol suppositories, put them in the fridge and pray you never need them.

I’d also say don’t fear birth as it might not be that bad at all. Mine wasn’t and honestly never felt any severe pain (had an epidural). I wouldn’t necessarily advise staying home as long as possible, though. My contractions were not terribly painful and judging by the pain I wouldn’t have realized to go to hospital. Only when I started timing them I realized they were 3 mins apart. Was 7cm when I got to the hospital!
Enjoy your pregnancy and try not to worry about something going wrong all the time. I didn’t manage this but worried about miscarriage, stillbirth and what not all along.

Don't go crazy buying loads of tiny outfits and baby things most of which you won't use and my son lived in baby grows till 3 months. And don't be afraid of second hand xx

Make up a little kit of calpol, infant nurofen, baby vicks or snuffle babe, the calpol vapour plug ins and bonjela. You never know when little one will start their first cold or cut their first tooth, better to be prepared.

If you're a planner/organiser type it will be totally alien to just go with the flow but just seeing how things go and reacting accordingly will help you loads when baby is here.

Don't worry about trying to get 'into a routine' you will naturally develop your own by reacting to baby and trial and error. I bought ALL the books then worried myself sick that I wasn't 'doing it right'

And number one advice is to completely ignore anyone that tells you that you'll 'spoil' your baby with too many cuddles and holding them all the time

It's the total all encompassing feeling of love to another human being that you've made from scratch that I had no idea how intense that felt....on a whole new level

Congratulations and enjoy x

Definitely nipple cream too. I started with it from the first feed so before they were ever sore.

Spend time looking after you. Self-care really helps my mental health. Make time for those long soaks in the bath and look after your hair and nails.
Take advantage of the free dental treatment ( is this still relevant!?!)

People have mixed experiences of NCT, but I'm so glad we joined. We've all remained close and it's lovely having friends at the same stage.

If you get a little bleed don't completely panic. Look up implantation bleeding, it is very common in first few weeks. If it does happen call your GP/midwife and they will advise if you need to go into the early pregnancy unit and have a check.

Don't buy too much stuff, try to buy secondhand/ at NCT sales.

Have an open mind regarding feeding. Maybe breastfeeding will be great or maybe it won't.You won't really know until you try. Don't stress over it.

Your midwife will be kind no matter how many times you call with questions. Feeling wierd/bleeding/feeling faint/tummy pains etc.

Pregnancy pillow. Nice big U-shaped one. Get it in bed with you as soon as you want. If I wasn't co-sleeping, I'd have it back in with me now

1. Go on a parental baby first aid course. We have never had to use it but it is very reassuring to know what to do, especially with choking.

1. Read up on all your birth options. My second child is 3 days old. My first birth was a hippy rainbow water birth with a doula and no pain relief I.e. exactly what I planned. Second was an induction with epidural at 58 hours after my waters broke and contractions inexplicably failed to start. Smug mode off.

I realised after speaking with the anethetist that I was completely ignorant about what to expect as I had been so certain about having a repeat of my first birth.

1. Follow on from above. Tell anyone who thinks that you can have the natural/perfect birth you want meerly by wanting if hard enough to put their head in a toilet.

1. If you have an epidural PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON. I thought I could coast along on the hourly dose , turns out if you do that it stops working and I had to do the last hour of an induction with no pain relief.

1. Don't worry too much about tearing. I was super paranoid but my tiny graze in my first birth hurt waaay more then my 4 2nd degree tears and 12 stitches in my second. Do your perineum exercises use the best positions for birth etc but tearing isn't the end of the world and in the final minutes you honestly won't give a fuck.

Plan and pack your hospital bag early. Plan for a hospital stay so when you are at hardest point you have everything organised. Put the following in the hospital bag as basics. Lots of very thick and large pant liners. Painkillers!!! Several changes of pj/leggings, several pairs of pants/ hospital pants, comfy bras, breast pads, emergency food, slippers, decent ear plugs and eye mask. Baby clothes and nappies.

Pm me if you want to hear from someone who has just gone through it for the second time ☺