Anyone else awake?

[Idontkowmyname]

I dozed off on the sofa earlier and am now wide awake. What’s keeping you awake?

Large dose of steroids! Hate them!

@gilead are the steroids helping at least?

I'm sitting in Dubai airport in transit from Thailand. Heading to Gatwick.

This bastard cough. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE...GURGLE...I sound like an angry seal, my ribs are killing me, and I keep pissing myself.

@LesLavandes how are you feeling? I find the second long haul flight to always be the worse especially if flying cattle

Cant sleep. Planning to leave my partner in the morning and turn my entire life upside down.

Think I may vomit.

Wow @neverletgojack. I was about to say wine and mn we're keeping me awake but your situation sounds far worse. If you've come this far you're making the right decision. Remember it may get rough but it will be worth it in the end.

Thank w, idontknow they are. Rock and a hard place with these things!

Going through a divorce... still have ExH living in the house. Met someone in November and had the most beautiful 8 weeks together feeling feelings that I'd never thought I'd feel again but it came to a sad end today as the lovely man isn't over his own marriage even though he'd thought he was. He is the loveliest, most honest and clever person. So sweet but so sad. And I've not really slept since late October. I'm exhausted 😩 Also snuck off earlier to get out of house and lick wounds and ate something while out that's disagreed with me. Thinking I'm going to call in sick in the morning. I'm certainly not going to manage to drive in! Bleughh.

@neverletgojack sorry to hear that, would talking about things help?

@SageYourResoluteOracle sorry to hear about your divorce and your recent breakup. Feeling physically unwell on top of things just adds insult to injury. Hope you feel better soon 💐

Breastfeeding youngest who is a bit of a chewy Louis now that he has lots of teeth.

@neverletgojack one piece of advice that’s stood me in good stead was for every big decision think about
How will I feel in 10 weeks? And 10 months? And 10 years?
These feelings shall pass. Your good decision should remain.

Thanks shouldhave

Its pretty shit...but I've been through worse. I just feel awful for the kids, they are going to have to move schools and house again.
They are totally amazing and don't deserve an unhappy mummy.

In too much pain.

Dared to go out and have a bit of fun yesterday, but really suffering for it now (have arthritis/ pain issues) as my legs and hips are killing me.

@neverletgojack dc are incredibly resilient and current thought is not to stay in an unhappy relationship for the dc. I’ve seen many posts over the years with posters saying how they wish parents had not stayed together for “their benefit”

@Whiskeychaser sorry to hear you are in so much pain, nothing worse than pain stopping you sleeping.

WhatsApp fight with DP who is in Aus.

IDontKnow

We have a blended family me with 2 DS and him with 1 DD. She runs out lives, they boys get pushed aside in every choice and I am sick if it. I have done everything for her but she still screams and will threaten to phone social services to report me for child abuse if I don't give into her demands.
We have booked to go on a holiday of a lifetime with extended family and I have dreaded it and haven't spoke about it or been excited about it once because of how she behaves.

He has his moments of being a partner that I met and fell in love with but then this nasty bitter person spots vile words at me. I'm done. He throws things in temper and calls me vile names. Never in front of my kids but does it infront of his daughter (probs where she has learnt it)

Im worth more than being treated like a second class citizen in my own home.

I got divorced at 21 and thought my life was ending when it was just beginning.
I refuse to turn 30 feeling how I do now.

I'm awake too. I can't get comfortable due to painful shoulder and have too much on my mind to switch off. Plus I need a wee, but the cat is asleep in the crook of my knees 😆

I’ve been waiting for our son to come home. He goes to stay with his girlfriend every other weekend while she’s at university and has an almost 5 hour drive home on the Sunday night.
He was home just before 1am but I then decided to watch Call The Midwife as I wasn’t ready to sleep.

neverletgojack I wish you luck, and much happiness for the future.

@neverletgojack you deserve so much more. I’m so sorry you’ve been subjected to that. The sad thing is the snippets of the man you fell in love with is a person who doesn’t really exist. He’s shown his true colours and this coupled with him allowing his dd to treat you so appallingly would be too much for anyone. You are being abused in your own home. You and your dc deserve to feel safe.
Would you consider reaching out to women’s aid for some support/advice?

I don't know why I can't sleep because I'm usually out like a light as soon as my head hits the pillow.
I'm waiting to hear back from an interview that I had last week so it could possibly be that. I hope not though because I could potentially be waiting until March and I really can't go without sleep until then.

IDontKnowMy
I was just reading your 'shit relationships over xmas' thread there and it just solidified my choice.

I don't need women's aid, I have an amazing family who would cross oceans for me. I know its abuse. I've known for ages and been in denial.
All the things I protected my DS's from with their bio dad he is doing now (minus the drinking). Everyone thinks he is such a nice guy. Total narcissist.

I landed my dream job 2 weeks ago.
I'm off to start my dream life.

@neverletgojack

Your posts confirm you are definitely doing the right thing. You and your kids deserve peace and to live without abuse. Tomorrow your life starts over and will keep getting better if you can just get through this bit. Good luck

I'm awake, I get nights like this every now and then and it's a nightmare. I just can't switch my brain off tonight. I'm hoping the phone light forces my eyes to close soon, I'm up at 6.15! Urgh!