I've been in bed since Friday

[turnandfacethenamechange]

Apart from loo and food...and it's becoming a bit of a pattern. Not ill of anything just don't want to do anything and leaving the house seems insurmountable. For everything thing to do there is an unthing.

For example:
Should go do dance class (will be terrible at dance class and feel worse)
Should do fitness in park (park muddy and cold, people)
Should have a run and ride bike in park (running highly unpleasant, will probably cycle into toddler)
Should buy nutritious food for week and batch cook (can't face alternate freezing and boiling going in and out of shops, food expensive, hate washing up)

This is a new low if I'm honest as dance and cooking usually get me going.

What are you all up to? Any small manageable tasks I can copy that aren't totally impossible??

Yes. It’s not all or nothing. Why not go out for a walk in the park? Not too high impact or high stress just a nice walk in some fresh air.
Maybe your walk takes you past a supermarket and maybe you buy some food to cook today and maybe there’s some left for another day.
Maybe you could call a friend or a relative and have a chat about why you’re finding it hard to get up and out?
Good luck, this will pass x

When I'm like this, I have to start small. Even moving from the bed to the sofa is a start. Chuck on some comfy clothes and do something small. Little steps all add up.

Absolutely, start small.

This is what I used to do when I was totally overwhelmed by cleaning the kitchen - look around and ask myself ‘what can you cope with right now?’

If it was just ‘pick up three tea cups and put them in d/w’ then that’s all I would do.

So for you - big goal is getting out/being active/ healthy food etc. I’d think about all that and in each category think ‘what can I cope with right now?’

It might be as small as
‘step outside the door’
‘Brush my teeth’
‘Make a cup of herbal tea’
‘Throw a few mouldy things out the fridge’
‘Stretch my arms over my head and down to the ground’

Anything, however small, as long as it’s something.

And if you can do that, see if you can think of the next small step you actually feel you can manage

(I am laid pretty low with a cold and been a bit like this this morning. I’ve had a shower, now going to load a wash, then going to sit and read a chapter of my book if the tv will keep dcs quiet long enough....)

Step 1
Run a bath

Step 2
Have a bath

Step 3
Set an alarm for 1.5 hours time. When alarm goes off, go out. Go for a walk / go to a shop and buy food for today and tomorrow. Go home.

Step 4
Set an alarm for an hour and a half (or whenever) . Spend time reading/ listen to music/ whatever. When the alarm goes off, make dinner.

Basically, out of bed and clean and fresh. Give yourself time to do nothing, but time limit it. Build in 1 block of fresh air/ gently exercise and one block of mild productivity. Then some more downtime, but try to make it gently enjoyable/ pleasant. Small steps are needed.
The negative thoughts in brackets sound like a symptom of depression rather than your own rational thoughts. Be gentle with yourself, take time out but chip away at it with small, manageable goals and little treats for yourself every day.

Honestly the best way to do it is to put your phone down and put your feet on the floor.

This thread is just pure procrastination.

Do you have work tomorrow?

I also would put the phone down and put your foot on the floor.. Get washed, dressed and ready. If there is anything at all that you have an inkling you would like to do ,get out of the house, speak to someone, read a book, eat breakfast, drink.coffe/ tea..Do that. Do it in the spirit of doing something for yourself

I'm also agree that allowing yourself a.set time.to do.nothing is ok too.

Be kind.to.yourself

Xxx

Phone down, have a refreshing shower, get lounge gear in.

Strip bed, leave bed to air, open windows to freshen up room.

Have a cuppa & lunch, after lunch have a tidy of other rooms.

Later remake bed.

Iv found for me even if I can't get out I force myself to get up out of bed.

Once I'm up I don't need to do that before I do anything else if that makes sense.
So if an hour or two later I decided I can manage "a task" I'm already in the living room so I don't need to pull back the covers and get out of bed into the cold (colder than bed) to do it.

In terms of food I get my shopping delivered now and I pick up a few specific bits while I am out already because I know there's no fucking way I will be able to force myself out to do it in other circumstances. I decide roughly what I am having each day as that means I buy accordingly but also it seems to stop the "hmmm what shall I have tonight?, fuck it il just have some toast or this pot noodle" because I know tonight is

Thanks everyone. Showered, clothes, coffee, 6th pitta bread of the weekend. I feel like Eleanor Oliphant except with Baba ganoush instead of vodka.

Other than a bit of work the only thing I did in bed yesterday was make a little clay model and he's looking a bit naked. If it's going to be a week of cancelling plans I suppose it might be good to get some glaze to make him look pretty. And the art shop is opposite the remortgage-your-house organic greengrocers which I like. Maybe in an hour or something.

How’s it going @turnandfacethenamechange?

Thanks for checking in, that's so kind. I bought the varnish and food and did an hour of yoga and made saag tofu It's raining so I just made some more clay models and feel like I've not wasted the day. Thanks for being there MN, I bloody love this website.

Hope you're feeling better,love the sound of your clay models.Be kind to yourself and take care.

Be kind to yourself. I swear by forcing a bath/shower and getting into day clothes and shoes. Every else then follows. I get That feeling when I'm starting a depressive episode.

Sorry if this sounds patronising but I just wanted to check, are you absolutely sure you're not ill?

I've felt just like this for a while. Losing my energy and interest in doing anything. It's not like me and I knew I wasn't depressed, as such. I eventually, recently, found out that my thyroid is knackered. Maybe worth getting it checked out?

are you absolutely sure you're not ill?

I think it's just a touch of the old sads. I'm teetering on the edge of it quite a lot of the time and when left to my own devices it can take over.

By which I mean depression rather than SAD, I take my vitimins

Actually Nested does the thyroid thing affect your weight?

5 minute rule. Last time I was badly depressed I went to cbt and the councillor gave me the 5 minute rule. Think of whatever it is that you want to do. If you can’t be arsed, but want to do it, try it for 5 minutes. If you aren’t enjoying it or getting into it ie still can’t be arsed then fair enough, jack it in and rest. However 80% of the time I did the 5 mins, I actually felt grand and wanted to keep going. It gets you up, because you’re really only commuting to 5 minutes not a whole big ‘thing’
For instance, with batch cooking, there’s a lot involved, but if you break it up and the first task is writing a shopping list, that’ll only take 5 mins so do that, then if you’re feeling good and motivated by that keep going otherwise, bank the progress of the shopping list for tomorrow and you’ve still achieved something.
Hope you feel better soon

Yah that's a really good idea actually! Once I'm up its usually ok, it's just the deciding to get out of bed that takes soooo long. I'm trying to think if an equivalent for stopping me spending a fortune on dance classes that I don't go to. I'm always outside the cancellation period and I've throw so much money away doing it.

I was thinking if maybe taking my stuff I work every day and if I do randomlg feel like going, then just seeing if there are any spaces free.

I feel even shitter when I don't go and waste money!

I always brush my teeth on those sorts of days. They can get neglected when I'm down. When I give them a good scrub I feel like I've achieved something. Then I try and go for a walk. It sounds like you're feeling a bit better

I like the idea of the five minute rule

When I give them a good scrub I feel like I've achieved something

I had that feeling today...then again I hadn't brushed them since Friday morning - fucking minger I am I'm going to do them right now!

Turnandface oh I hear you! The amount of money I’ve pissed up the wall on gym memberships over the years 😳 but I just don’t bother with it now. I don’t sign up to anything that’s an expensive long term outlay. Find a drop in class or a regular meet up in a church hall instead then if you go great and if you don’t it’s no big loss.

on the days when you don’t want to commit to the class get a good fitness dvd and apply the 5 minute rule. Or get a good audiobook stick your earphones in and go for a walk dressed for a run and if the five minutes proves fruitful treat it as a warm up and then go for a jog, or not, either way you’ve got up and done something positive and you can face the rest of the day without beating yourself up for failing or wasting the money on the classes or whatever the usual negative talk down you give yourself (I’m queen of the self beat up so know all too well how that goes!)

Sounds like you turned it around! I’m impressed.
As for the dance class, could you just have your stuff ready, drive there, park up and see how you feel. No commitment, you can always head home/ go for coffee/ whatever but it’s following the 5 minute rule (which sounds a brilliant idea).

the usual negative talk down you give yourself

Yeah mine is a real pisser because it rags on me even when I do something. So if I manage to get my ass to the shop but not a run and i see other joggers I'm like, "Well you freakin got up, why didn't you go for a run?". But it's almost like the whole time of the day is set by the beginning of it...if it starts badly that's usually it. Whereas I should just go...well, I managed a bit, even if it wasn't my preferred, run > stretch > cook routine.

Take that pissy wee voice imagine screwing it up like a piece of waste paper and chuck it over your shoulder then say something positive to yourself and repeat it five times.

‘Well done for getting up and getting out, it was a slow burner to get up but i did it and I’m proud of myself’ and repeat.

That pissy talk down voice isn’t you, it’s a facet of the habits that have been formed over the years and it’s only there because over the years you’ve given it air space, which is only natural.

I was talking to a friend recently who descirbed it like a mountain with people skiing down it, the popular paths were the most traveled ones because the snow was grooved and it was easy to just follow the flow and to get into the habit of taking a new path meant that it needed to become well worn. Hence the five times rule, every negative needs overwritten with a positive repeated five times and that makes it easier to say the positive first time eventually as it’s the more we’ll work path.

I’m off to bed now but hope you wake up tomorrow and think, right, I’m going to get up and spend five minutes getting ready, I’ll start by brushing my teeth and see where that takes me.