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Original poster

Who pays?

49 replies

Meltedicicle · 21/01/2020 18:29

Friend has a dilemma. She wants a adults’ pizza making party for her 40th. Cost is £22 per person. It’s £5 per person deposit with the rest paid on the night. Who should pay? Should she pay for everyone or should each person pay for their own? She wants to know as it affects how many people she invites!

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 21/01/2020 18:34

In my circle it would be uber generous and nice to pay the deposit but by no means expected. Everyone pays for themselves. Buy drinks at a bar if possible.

Mumsnet world you invite you pay. I guess there are some rich people out there.

Lifeoverhaul · 21/01/2020 18:50

£22 to make a pizza? Is it made with caviar and truffles?

PurpleDaisies · 21/01/2020 18:50

People pay for themselves.

Original poster
Meltedicicle · 21/01/2020 18:51

@Lifeoverhaul lol hope so as I’m getting an invite! I think you get Prosecco and there’s games involved etc.

OP posts:
slashlover · 21/01/2020 18:56

As long as she makes it clear on the invitation then either is correct. Could she say that everyone pays for their own but she doesn't want presents?

palomapear · 21/01/2020 19:23

I don't think guests should pay to attend a party.

GloGirl · 21/01/2020 19:30

I think it's common as an adult to pay to celebrate someone's birthday. I'd definitely pay deposits because it will create utter madness getting deposits from people but I'd just try and phrase it as

"I have a private room booked at Pizza Place from 7-10! Its £17 a person, make your own pizzas! Looking forward to seeing you, RSVP at xxx"

Brokenlightfitting · 21/01/2020 19:34

Adult pizza party?

Do they make dough based sex toys?

FFS don't they have a kitchen at home in which they can make a pizza dough for 10 for about £1.50.

vincettenoir · 21/01/2020 19:34

There’s no right or wrong answer to this although she needn’t feel she should necessarily pay for everyone. That said I would not fancy paying £22 to make a pizza. If it was a good friend I’d suck it up but otherwise I would make my excuses. But then she’s knows her audience and maybe she has pitched it correctly for her group of friends.

Brokenlightfitting · 21/01/2020 19:38

Is it at Dominos in Scarborough?

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 21/01/2020 19:38

An adult pizza making party? Sounds awful I’m not 5, because of that I wouldn’t be going.

Also £22 for a bit of dough and cheese? Umm no... just no

To answer your question though in my friend circle it’s normal to pay for yourself at birthday meals/nights out

BRKLLN · 21/01/2020 19:39

Everyone pay for themselves.

stoplickingthetelly · 21/01/2020 19:51

I think it’s fine for adults to pay for themselves. Very normal with my friends. If one person had to pay for everything we’d never celebrate anything - no one could afford it.

bsc · 21/01/2020 19:53

I would never dream of inviting people out and not paying for them. Similarly, if I received an invitation to come and celebrate by making my own food and paying£22 to do so... I think I'd have a prior engagement!

Original poster
Meltedicicle · 21/01/2020 19:56

@Brokenlightfitting no, a Pizza Express in the west mids

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 21/01/2020 20:00

I know you didn't ask this, but I wouldn't see the appeal of an adult pizza making party at all. I'd be happy to go out for a pizza that someone else would make, and pay for that!

Batqueen · 21/01/2020 20:00

I’m happy enough to pay for an activity on someone’s birthday but would expect it to be instead of gifts or a dinner and costs to be clear up front so I can choose to decline if I can’t afford it at that time.

DotBall · 21/01/2020 20:06

It’s fine to expect adults to pay the balance as long as it’s clear in the invitation that this is what will happen but...sheesh, £22 for pizza?! I would be declining, sorry.

73Sunglasslover · 21/01/2020 20:10

I don't thinks he has to pay but I'd not want to pay £22 to make a pizza. I don't think it can really be fun for an adult and unless you get something other than pizza you're just giving them an extra £10 for the 'privilege' of doing some of the prep yourself.

Original poster
Meltedicicle · 21/01/2020 20:16

@73Sunglasslover yeah you get some Prosecco and a starter too I think and some games. But it’s not really the issue of whether people want to go or not, it’s who should pay that she wants opinions on Smile

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 21/01/2020 20:18

If you invite people you pay. If YOU said to her friends: 'let's do a make your own pizza party for X's birthday' then everyone contributes.

Floralnomad · 21/01/2020 20:21

If you invite people to a party then you pay.

Chloemol · 21/01/2020 20:25

I would just go out saying I want to have a pizza making experience for my 40 th birthday, and I am sorry I can5 pay for you all but would like you to join me. it will cost £ xx. If you want to join me let me have a deposit of £ xx and test is paid on the evening, drinks can be bought at the bar

73Sunglasslover · 21/01/2020 22:02

@73Sunglasslover yeah you get some Prosecco and a starter too I think and some games. But it’s not really the issue of whether people want to go or not, it’s who should pay that she wants opinions on

Personally it is normal in my circles to be invited things but to pay for them yourself - this just needs to be clear at the outset.

Your friend then also needs to accept if people choose not to come. Sounds like I'm not the only one who might turn down such an invite (nicely though. I'd still wish her a happy birthday).

Hadenoughofitall441 · 21/01/2020 22:51

I’ve always paid or at least offered and it’s been turned down since I was a teen. If you don’t want to go just say so. Or you don’t want to join in.

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