20 year age gap between children.

[mywrencalls]

I'm 37, 13 weeks pregnant with my second child. My first child will be 20 years old when this little one is born.

I'm really excited and entire family (including DS) is thrilled and happy. I occassionally have moments of 'omg I'm starting all over again' but it soon passes.

Anyone else with huge age gaps that could share their story/experience with me?

No experience but congrats! I'm sure it'll be a very different experience for you this time round, but amazing nonetheless!

Congratulations
23years between my Dd's.

My sister was 50 (yesterday!) Im 31. She wasnt really around much when i was growing up (moved in woth my grandparents when me and my sister were born) but we get on great now.

15 years between me and sibling. It's great we are so close and I have the privilege of supporting him growing up!!

Loved it!!

First born 28...youngest 2.5 Im really enjoying doing it again because i know to really value the early years because they go in a blink...congratulations

There’s a 20 year gap between me and my sister.

We’re not at all close, but perfectly civil to each other. The gap was just too big and we never had anything in common.

My experience is very similar to @BeachComber1's TBH.

I have the same experience as beachcomber with my siblings who are 19 & 20 years younger than me. They are half siblings & we don't share the same mother, never lived together so I think that's a big part of it.

My elder ds was 18 when dd was born and younger ds was 15. Dd and older ds were very close when she was little more like an extra parent.

I have to say that dd has kept me young and now I have my dgs he is doing the same.

My cousin was 44 having her 2nd baby, and already had a 20+yr old from 1st marriage.

There are 19.5 years between my two DS's, 33 and 14. Though when they get together they both act about 11

I would say they are really close though initially I don't think DS1 was too impressed

A friend of mine was a grandma before she had DS 2. Her older son was 19 and a dad.
My SIL has 23 years between her oldest and youngest, but has 4 more in between

Wow thank you for all the stories! I am very very close to my DS and in general we are a very close family both sides and so I'm hoping my son will develop a good bond with his sibling. He's really excited and so I hope that helps

I'm really looking forward to doing it all again, I feel like a first time mum in some ways because my DS and I almost grew up together as I was so young. Wheras this time I am older, wiser, settled, married and ready.

Lovely to hear the sibling stories too!

There's 20nyrs between me and my sister. I loved having a baby sister.. Even now she's amazing with my dcs. In fact were really close.
It's weird as she's only 2 yrs older than my eldest and they go to school together. We live really close 1 Rd away and she's always popping in. In fact she's here tonight as she hopes I'm gonna go into labour so she can have the kids tomorrow.. No sign yet tho lol

I had 12 yrs between 2 of my dcs. Which is nice too.

Congratulations !

Due to the age gap, they won’t be close at all really. It’s hard to be close to someone two decades younger than you. Hopefully they’ll have a warm relationship, though!

But my brother was 17 when my sis was born and even to this day its evident he's jealous as no longer the baby.

He renarks his she gets things we didnt..times and finances are better.
He's very jealous that she sees my kids more not his.. Her reason is because he is so jealous.
Even now in his 30s its very clear.

@Strawberryorangess in my case I disagree. But guess that varies.
Were really close, admittedly when she was born I could never imagine it being like this but it is.
She takes my dd out. Has her over night at my dad's as I'd prefer an adult there very often she's 16 now and just brilliant

There are definitely exceptions but for the majority of siblings with a massive age gap it means they aren’t close.

To expand, part of being close to a sibling is growing up with them, living together, having common memories / experiences. That’s almost impossible to have at 20 when DC will likely move out /go to university. Not watch similar tv programmes, even have the same parents etc

@Strawberryorangess Yes a warm relationship is more of what I'm expecting... I realise they won't be 'close' as in the sense of all the experiences siblings have with each other, but I do think he'll enjoy it. He's at uni but very close by so we see him most days

Thanks for eveyone's experience, on the whole they seem positive!

There’s 14 & 15 years between me and my brother. One of them was great with me when I was little, and the other was rather distant and not really interested. As an adult, though, I get on well with them both and we are fairly typical siblings - wind each other up, mock one another, there when we need one another.

For me, the hardest part is actually now, having my own children. My brother with kids had them in his 20s and I didn’t have them until my 30s. My kids are now 4&7, but his are about 30, so they don’t even recognise each other as cousins.

A playground mum friend of mine has about 18 years between eldest and baby, with another teen in between.

Older two are fab with the baby so far, however both parents, having got to the stage where 2 older ones are quite independent, seem not to be able to cut back on their "freedom' and I often see them out, drinking from early afternoon to drunken-ness with the baby in the pram.

Judgy? Yep. But I do think the baby will have a very different upbringing to the older ones.

There is 18 years between my youngest brother and I.. 8 years between me and other brother. We all get on great together although youngest found it a bit hard when I left home etc as he was so young but now I have my own wee one who is almost 2 and my mum minds him while I'm at work so we see them all daily.
Things like Christmas and santa was great with a young sibling to keep the magic alive for🙂 congratulations

So glad you’re happy @mywrencalls and congratulations, however it would be my idea of hell. My auntie had two kids 16 years apart and would ring my mum saying ‘I feel as though i’ve bed bringing up kids for 30+ years’ My mum would just say ‘well you have, haven’t you?’

20 years between my oldest sibling and youngest. Older brother helped out loads but now obviously has his own life so doesn't see my younger sisters as much but the dynamic is fine.
20 years between DP and his brothers (ISH) and we also have a 2 year old.
My mum's youngest are 6 and 8, MIL youngest are 3 and 6 and obviously our 2 year old and the kids get on fantastically. It's not really a sibling relationship anymore because we are parents, but we often have all 5 kids running around playing. We're ready made babysitters

Congratulations OP! 19 years between my DS and DD. Our situation is a bit different as DS is autistic and so will be living at home for the foreseeable future, and he spends most of his time at home so he spends loads of time with DD. They have a great relationship, and there's no ill feeling at all (even though I have more money and time for DD). He just doesn't have that sort of bitterness.

I was treated as a first-time parent by the midwives/HVs which was a bit bemusing, and there are some bits of advice that have changed, but I've been pretty chilled about it. I was 38 when I had DD and I don't feel more tired/physically worn out than I was the first time around (when I was 19!), but then I've been very sporty and fit in the past few years which helped. I'm a sahm now and I'm probably more 'precious' about spending quality time with DD, as I know from experience how quickly childhood goes and I want to savour my time with her, whereas with DS I was struggling to prove myself with a degree and career whilst trying to raise him on my own.