Who should clean this up?

[troppibambini]

Dd(14) got a bean bag for her room for Christmas after about a week her little brother jumped on it and it split spilling beans everywhere she cleaned it all up and moved the split bag to the bottom of her wardrobe out of harms way.
I've been meaning to get it fixed but haven't got round to it.
Today is martial arts for all four kids and dh. Dd is a black belt and also helps teach the little kids, they were running late and we were trying to get everyone ready and out of the door.
Dd loses her belt, dh tells her to look in the sports bag that they used last week while she is doing this dh goes upstairs and without saying anything goes in dds wardrobe throws the beanbag out of the bottom of her wardrobe to look for the belt. Beans go everywhere. He finds the belt.
His argument-I'm not cleaning them up I found the belt
Her argument-I never asked you to and you didn't say anything,if you did I would have said don't touch the bean bag. I spent an hour cleaning them up last time brother broke it. I could have just worn another belt (would have been the incorrect belt)

Who do you think should clean them up?

Husband. Your poor dd and I suspect poor you too. He sounds like a bullying dick.

A normal person would have apologised to your daughter for flinging stuff all over her room and gone back to clear them up later if there wasn't time then. I going to bet that her dad is not a big one for apologies.

Also, that enmeshed dad,/kids hobby thing sounds like a stress fest.

Her little brother. He was old enough to clear it last time so he owes her.

Husband.

Definitely husband after being such a twat about it.

Not DD she had her gift broken & cleaned up after her brother last time (with some 6yo ‘help’)

No issue with DH going into her wardrobe (I agree with you, it’s a wardrobe FFS - not her bedside drawer).

A bit odd it didn’t occur to him that a beanbag DS has recently burst open might, you know, create a god almighty mess if he throws it around the room. But either way, he made the mess...& finding her belt wasn’t exactly a life saving event 🙄

In reality I’d have probably just cleaned it up when they were out & sewed it up so it didn’t happen again.

I’m guessing you’re much younger than me, but even so, how did you get through school without doing any basic sewing?

Gosh I didn't realise my lack of sewing skills was so shocking!!
I'm 42, when I was at school you chose woodwork or sewing. I went for woodwork.

I could make you a mean wooden key ring...

means doesn't justify the end - he should as he was unreasonable to throw it out as he did

Husband

But who will teach your son to sew, if you don't? Does your DH sew?

I love sewing

@MapMyMum yes, have had 4 teenagers. Only one still a teenager & this would definitely work in our house. We have a good sense of humour and are respectful towards each other. Obviously, they’re not perfect but we don’t tend to get into petty squabbles. Life is just too short 😉

Webuiltthiscity oh god I don't know!! Maybe I need to do a course!!

In our house we respect each other's space so my DH and I knock before we go into our teens' rooms. If they want help finding something that might be in their rooms they will ask. I would not expect my teens to go through my wardrobe and I would not go through theirs.

I think if I went into my DCs wardrobes without warning, I'd find way more stuff to lose my shit about than an already broken beanbag. That's why I don't go in them Even though they may solve the mystery of the fucking odd socks and missing mugs and teaspoons....

OP is your DH fitting a sock to the hoover as we speak? I can lend you an odd one if you like, we have lots

Me: the dad!

My DP: The dad! Just cos you're a dad doesn't mean you can be an arse! If I stood up and knocked all your stuff off he couch now doesn't mean I'd expect you to pick it up.

You DD sounds like a really good girl, don't punish her.

Your poor DD- of course it should be your ‘d’h

Update dh has done it. Think he realised he was an arse.
Where on earth did I say I was going to punish dd?

Oh and I may have forgotten to mention the sock trick.....