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Original poster

Declining invite

47 replies

Hanjipan · 16/01/2020 20:05

Youngest has had a birthday party invitation, I'll be honest I just don't want to go. He's only 4, I thought this wouldn't start till he started school. My older kids didn't start going to birthday parties until they started school. How do I word the reply? I don't really have an excuse and hate lying is it ok to just say " thanks for the invite for "little Jonny" , I'm sorry we won't be able to make it but hope "little freddie" has a lovely day. Is that ok to not give a reason? Or is that rude?

OP posts:
DartmoorChef · 16/01/2020 20:06

Does your child want to go?

Chewbecca · 16/01/2020 20:06

Does your DS want to go?

Battytwatty · 16/01/2020 20:07

Why don’t you want him to go? I think it’s very odd of you

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

4 year olds
MeanMrMustardSeed · 16/01/2020 20:08

Thank you so much for the invitation to X’s party. Unfortunately DS can’t come but I hope you all have a brilliant day.

Original poster
Hanjipan · 16/01/2020 20:08

Lol. It's odd that I don't want to go? It's a house party full of 4 year olds, I don't know the parents. It's my idea of hell! He can go to all the parties when he starts school but for now is just rather not!

OP posts:
MrsJoshNavidi · 16/01/2020 20:09

I'd just say you have a "prior committment" and leave it at that. But why don't you want him to go? Does he know about the invite? What will you tell him to say when his friends talk about the party?

DartmoorChef · 16/01/2020 20:09

But it's not about you. It's about your child learning to socialise.

Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 16/01/2020 20:10

That's quite sad really, another child obviously wants him to go to his party. Do you have social anxiety? (Not being sarcastic btw, genuine question) if so can an aunt or grandparent take him?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 16/01/2020 20:10

I'd go with prior commitment too but you can just decline without a reason... that said, I'd let him go. It may well be hell, let alone your idea of hell, but he's four and his friends are going. I wouldn't isolate him because you don't fancy it. Can someone else accompany him?

Original poster
Hanjipan · 16/01/2020 20:10

No, he's 4. He barely knows what day it is Wink

OP posts:
misspiggy19 · 16/01/2020 20:10

YABU- I think you are being selfish not allowing your child to a birthday because you don’t want to go. You got issues OP.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 16/01/2020 20:10

Does your DS want to go? I’d only rsvp declining if we actually had plans or my child didn’t want to go. Otherwise I’d see it as a parenting basic and take them.

VerySale · 16/01/2020 20:11

Me me me. The invitation isn't for you. Take your child!

CommunistLegoBloc · 16/01/2020 20:11

I think if your child wants to go then you need to put your own feelings aside. Do you think parents want to be at softplay or the park or watch endless episodes of Bing? It would be cruel to deny him something fun because of your adult apathy.

Herpesfreesince03 · 16/01/2020 20:16

Fucking hell. How selfish are you? My little boys just turned 3 and certainly understands when he’s been invited to a party. You’d deny your child a birthday party with their friends because you don’t want to sit in someone else’s house for an hour?

Original poster
Hanjipan · 16/01/2020 20:17

Responses are actually hilarious. I've been to hundreds of birthday parties at this stage for my older kids. I spend my weekends shuttling them between social things and activities and I suppose I'm just not ready for all that with youngest yet. And I'm sure we have all swerved an event sometimes when we just can't be bothered. Anyway I'm not asking if I should go or not, more looking for opinions on my response

OP posts:
drawntothedeepend · 16/01/2020 20:20

If you're so experienced and have been to hundreds of parties I don't know why you need this thread. People will honestly start a thread about anything!

Agree with others though, it's not about you.

Original poster
Hanjipan · 16/01/2020 20:20

And to answer another question, He isn't even aware of the party.

OP posts:
Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 16/01/2020 20:20

Ahh, the poster who doesn't like the responses so is rude to the responders. Glad we have entertained you! Just tell them you can't be arsed since that is the truth, and I'm sure your wish of no more party invites will be granted. Hmm

lilypainter · 16/01/2020 20:20

The wording you suggest in your OP is fine for declining an invite.

Although if he’s likely to be going to Reception with the children at the party then I’d probably take him, regardless of my personal feelings about parties, unless it sounds like a theme he’d hate or there’s genuinely prior commitments.

Original poster
Hanjipan · 16/01/2020 20:21

Lol. Wow. Now i remember why I don't post here very often Grin

OP posts:
74NewStreet · 16/01/2020 20:22

Responses are actually hilarious. Really??

Chochito · 16/01/2020 20:22

This reply is fine, OP: " thanks for the invite for "little Jonny" , I'm sorry we won't be able to make it but hope "little freddie" has a lovely day. "

Agree with other posters that you should let your DS go to the party unless there is no one available to take him or a clash with a prior engagement that can't be moved or a reason why he shouldn't go to the other DC's party (their home is full of cobras or Rottweilers, etc.)

Twickerhun · 16/01/2020 20:25

My 4 year old loves a party. I’d take him even if he didn’t know about the invite. Parties at that age are also my idea of hell but my boy loves them so I go, smile and look after my child’s emotional needs

Twickerhun · 16/01/2020 20:26

Your response is fine btw your attitude so sad tho